Grown-up cousin Oliver from "The Brady Bunch". It definitely took a few minutes.
My mother, father, and grandpa did 20 years on the force, and you best believe they would've pepper-sprayed those girls into blindness to keep the next cop from blowing them into oblivion. What even goes through your mind when you decide to attack an on-duty officer...unbelievable.
I really don't have a problem with public funding paying for an individuals genital surgery, since I think anything deemed medically-necessary for an inmate should be covered through public health (especially since keeping someone incarcerated in the first place is something we pay for whether or not we want to).
My issue is that prison sociology and sexuality is so vastly different than...everything else, that it's almost ridiculous to apply sexual preference-or-gender identifying terms to people who have adopted behaviors or identities WHILE IN PRISON. It's like calling sexuality in classical Greece "gay" in relation to the modern definition of that term. In prison, and more so in male prisons, behaviors and identities are heavily influenced by base human needs, hyper-masculinity, sexual availability, brute power struggles, etc. (perhaps even more so than orientation?). I'm not saying that prison sexuality or identity is illegitimate, or that everyone who expresses sexuality or gender in prison is doing so for different reasons than people outside of that environment, but I do think we should acknowledge that specific reality of prison culture.
And since a person in prison is not likely to get WPATH-approved care or psychological screening in the same manner that another trans person looking to medically transition would, I am inclined to say that by paying for any GRS we're really doing a disservice to this woman. Incarcerated individuals are so likely to be suffering from psychological issues, and it's highly likely that those issues will never be addressed during their incarceration, so why allow people to make irreversible medical decisions?
My issue is that prison sociology and sexuality is so vastly different than...everything else, that it's almost ridiculous to apply sexual preference-or-gender identifying terms to people who have adopted behaviors or identities WHILE IN PRISON. It's like calling sexuality in classical Greece "gay" in relation to the modern definition of that term. In prison, and more so in male prisons, behaviors and identities are heavily influenced by base human needs, hyper-masculinity, sexual availability, brute power struggles, etc. (perhaps even more so than orientation?). I'm not saying that prison sexuality or identity is illegitimate, or that everyone who expresses sexuality or gender in prison is doing so for different reasons than people outside of that environment, but I do think we should acknowledge that specific reality of prison culture.
And since a person in prison is not likely to get WPATH-approved care or psychological screening in the same manner that another trans person looking to medically transition would, I am inclined to say that by paying for any GRS we're really doing a disservice to this woman. Incarcerated individuals are so likely to be suffering from psychological issues, and it's highly likely that those issues will never be addressed during their incarceration, so why allow people to make irreversible medical decisions?
It looks like a Howler.
If a public school's resources are overtaxed and aren't able to meet the needs of its students and it fails those kids- that is a failure on behalf of that public system and the taxpayers (us). I'm not saying all the administrators and teachers are bad or are directly and solely at fault, or that parents have no level of responsibility; I am saying that the system itself is flawed and that we all have a blame in that. "There isn't enough money/ resources" is not an excuse because funding is not some natural resource. Taxation and costs for public services are in our control as a functioning people's government.
And I agree with you about social services programs not meeting the needs of the vast majority of people in them (or encouraging self-sufficiency and personal responsibility), and that certainly needs to be addressed, but all the educational programs in the world can't affect other people's personal choices. Everything a person does as a parent- regardless of their socio-economic status- affects their kids. If a woman having a bunch of kids she can't afford pisses off her existing family, that's their business. But it's not our place to judge her situation just because we disagree or disapprove of her lifestyle.
And I agree with you about social services programs not meeting the needs of the vast majority of people in them (or encouraging self-sufficiency and personal responsibility), and that certainly needs to be addressed, but all the educational programs in the world can't affect other people's personal choices. Everything a person does as a parent- regardless of their socio-economic status- affects their kids. If a woman having a bunch of kids she can't afford pisses off her existing family, that's their business. But it's not our place to judge her situation just because we disagree or disapprove of her lifestyle.
The only thing more irritating than privileged victim-blaming is politically-correct needling about fairly logical assumptions.
You know what, it's really easy to talk about the rightness or wrongness of this when you've never had to deal with going to a dangerous/ failing school, or lived in a ghetto you never saw yourself leaving, or had parents who didn't have access to high-school level education, or was passed-through grade by grade even though you could barely read, or never met anyone who went to a decent college.
And, yes, I'm making the assumption that at least some of that is true about this kid's life because I'm a brown person who grew up not that far from what most of my friends would consider "scary, black Brooklyn" and I've seen this shit so often in my personal and professional life. If I wasn't a bright kid and my parents had shittier jobs, I could've been this kid's classmate.
Damn, if this woman had kicked his ass on Youtube for failing, everyone would be all up in arms; but she tries a method of punishment meant to tell him that failure is alot more embarrassing than being seen as a nerd and people are all self-righteous. Please. You try being a poor black woman for a week.
You know what, it's really easy to talk about the rightness or wrongness of this when you've never had to deal with going to a dangerous/ failing school, or lived in a ghetto you never saw yourself leaving, or had parents who didn't have access to high-school level education, or was passed-through grade by grade even though you could barely read, or never met anyone who went to a decent college.
And, yes, I'm making the assumption that at least some of that is true about this kid's life because I'm a brown person who grew up not that far from what most of my friends would consider "scary, black Brooklyn" and I've seen this shit so often in my personal and professional life. If I wasn't a bright kid and my parents had shittier jobs, I could've been this kid's classmate.
Damn, if this woman had kicked his ass on Youtube for failing, everyone would be all up in arms; but she tries a method of punishment meant to tell him that failure is alot more embarrassing than being seen as a nerd and people are all self-righteous. Please. You try being a poor black woman for a week.
@Midwest_Elitist: How is her personal choice to have a shitload of kids relevant to her ability to educate one of them? Are you implying that if she had one child she'd have all this time to find or create resources to help him succeed academically? That she could afford a private education or private tutoring? Does that really seem like these people's lives to you?
Your comments smack of victim-blaming. It seems way more likely to me that the system failed this kid, and that his parents (cause the article did mention a father) just didn't have the money, time, resources to fix that, which is just the case for many, many poor people.
Your comments smack of victim-blaming. It seems way more likely to me that the system failed this kid, and that his parents (cause the article did mention a father) just didn't have the money, time, resources to fix that, which is just the case for many, many poor people.
@Midwest_Elitist: Maybe the mother did not have the education needed to offer assistance in a high school-level curriculum. Maybe she failed in finding tutoring resources. Maybe he has an undiagnosed learning disability that makes the whole situation more complex. We don't know.
What was stated was that she tried to talk to him numerous times about his grades, and she tried taking away perks. If anything, I would infer that she's actively trying to deal with the situation in a hands-on manner.
What was stated was that she tried to talk to him numerous times about his grades, and she tried taking away perks. If anything, I would infer that she's actively trying to deal with the situation in a hands-on manner.
@OldCrankyBroad: Domestic Partnership is a legal status. Unless said shacked-up couple is willing and able to sign the contract (in NJ, only same-sex couples can become DPs), they should not consider it a description of their emotional commitment.
-someone in a Domestic Partnership
-someone in a Domestic Partnership
@light-itself: This is at least 50% of the reason why as a bisexual I preferred (for many years) not to have serious relationships with black or brown (bio)men.
I got tired of representing/ explaining/ "excusing" my entire community to them and (often) their hyper-religious family members.
I got tired of representing/ explaining/ "excusing" my entire community to them and (often) their hyper-religious family members.
@ukuleslie: Curiously enough, my current partner is a pansexual FTM who has sexual interest in men (not emotional interest), and has had sex with bio-men in the past.
I recognize it makes me an ass, but I am still not okay with that.
I recognize it makes me an ass, but I am still not okay with that.
@lollilove: I'm bi-identified. I'm femme aggressive and my preference are different types of butch-ish women and FTMs. So take what I'm about to say in that context--
Of the pool of people I am attracted to, there are different things I want from those relationships. I am more emotionally-connected to women, in a much more organic way; yet I think in random ways I enjoy the company of men more. Although, let's focus on the sexual aspect-
Frankly, with (bio)men, I want be able to dominate them sexually, but I also want to be submissive. I like exploring aggression in either of those ways because with those kinds of men it's solely about physical satisfaction and not an emotional connection that would give (negative) significance to that aggression for me. With other groups, I'm liable to more of a connection so I treat (and want to treat) the sexual relationship in a way that shows the kind of mutual delicacy that goes hand-and-hand with a real connection.
I'm not attracted to MTF transfolk, bio-male gender queers, or (bio)effeminate men period. I find FTM gay sex just as hot as any dude-on-dude action, but the idea that a FTM dude that I'm sleeping with has slept with bio-dudes makes me feel violated. It's 100% hypocritical and fucked-up, but it's almost like there's the ghost of a dick in the room in a situation where I wouldn't necessarily be able to emotionally disconnect from it [as I would, for instance, with a bisexual (bio)man].
Of the pool of people I am attracted to, there are different things I want from those relationships. I am more emotionally-connected to women, in a much more organic way; yet I think in random ways I enjoy the company of men more. Although, let's focus on the sexual aspect-
Frankly, with (bio)men, I want be able to dominate them sexually, but I also want to be submissive. I like exploring aggression in either of those ways because with those kinds of men it's solely about physical satisfaction and not an emotional connection that would give (negative) significance to that aggression for me. With other groups, I'm liable to more of a connection so I treat (and want to treat) the sexual relationship in a way that shows the kind of mutual delicacy that goes hand-and-hand with a real connection.
I'm not attracted to MTF transfolk, bio-male gender queers, or (bio)effeminate men period. I find FTM gay sex just as hot as any dude-on-dude action, but the idea that a FTM dude that I'm sleeping with has slept with bio-dudes makes me feel violated. It's 100% hypocritical and fucked-up, but it's almost like there's the ghost of a dick in the room in a situation where I wouldn't necessarily be able to emotionally disconnect from it [as I would, for instance, with a bisexual (bio)man].
@LikeCuzFuhket: I love how this relationship was so great for their sexual growth and well-being, but neither of them will tell their current/future partners.
@dukes_up: And they really know how to create foliage.
He lost me at "I'm the big brother, she's the little sister."
@dukes_up: Obviously it's also the promise of a better life in a more developed country. And I know that the priestly service is historically something that is attractive to immigrant groups coming from Catholic backgrounds.
But- in my experience of 17 years of NYC Catholic school indoctrination mostly in the 90's- I've seen Catholic immigrant men from developing countries (mostly West African or West Indian) treat European priests better than I believe they'd treat priests in their own country; I've seen those same Catholic immigrants treat European Catholicism with a kind of reverance that I found fundamentally disturbing; and, relative to my point, I've seen people talk about Western European Catholics (specifically Irish priests) as if they were authorities on the religion for no other reason than that they were white.
But- in my experience of 17 years of NYC Catholic school indoctrination mostly in the 90's- I've seen Catholic immigrant men from developing countries (mostly West African or West Indian) treat European priests better than I believe they'd treat priests in their own country; I've seen those same Catholic immigrants treat European Catholicism with a kind of reverance that I found fundamentally disturbing; and, relative to my point, I've seen people talk about Western European Catholics (specifically Irish priests) as if they were authorities on the religion for no other reason than that they were white.
@♥AntiSocialSocialite♥: I once went to see him speak at the Harvard Club for an evening event. This was mid-2009, so he was still pretty stung about the Obama win overall, so everything was like "Well...he's the best choice we have" and "I hope you people knew what you were doing with this Obama fellow." I actually found that pretty funny as I was pretty stung as well.
Anyway he spoke in folksy Southernese ALL night. Me being sloshed did not help.
Anyway he spoke in folksy Southernese ALL night. Me being sloshed did not help.
@VictorScope: He was too busy being so-hilarious-it-sometimes-brings-me-to-tears on Family Guy.
@Richard Lawson: I went to a Catholic school in BK, and this was 100% the case. It was really sad. Their best options for recruitment- and they knew it- were kids from cultures in South America, the West Indies, and West Africa who were immersed in more socially-religious environments and still worshipped Irish/Western European Catholicism as "the real stuff".
In fact, my school had an "international program" that was basically a few West African boys that had expressed interest in becoming priests. I'm not even sure if those dudes spoke English, but they miraculously graduated with (presumably) all NYS diploma requirements met.
In fact, my school had an "international program" that was basically a few West African boys that had expressed interest in becoming priests. I'm not even sure if those dudes spoke English, but they miraculously graduated with (presumably) all NYS diploma requirements met.
@somedisaster: I totally agree. All types of social bigotry that are progressed by the denial of civil rights are similar in basic ways (those with power deciding what's normative and acceptable, and using that against those without). But when people make blanket comparisons between racism, and sexism/ homophobia/ etc., there is an implication that racism is 1). treated as the most horrifying prejudice in our society (there are plenty of examples of institutional/generational/social racism that society at large is willing to ignore and overlook for various reasons), and 2). something that we've come to some cultural closure on/ overcome. The implication is that "this is the NEW racism," and that's fucked up on so many levels.
There is simply no evidence to back that up, and no self ID'd minority group has ever gotten anywhere painting their community as the most oppressed. This is one of the reasons why the LGBTQ advocacy community has often been at odds with the black community when it has attempted to compare the struggles. Nine out of ten times it's coming from a place of complete ignorance of the actual black experience, like racism is something out of history but what's happening to the LGBTQ community is real. Nobody wants to be told that the way they navigate throughout society- and the types of prejudice their community struggles with- is only relevant to the degree it can be used to assist another community. It's incredibly assumptive and dismissive.
The minority olympics have got to stop. And I say this as a queer woman.
There is simply no evidence to back that up, and no self ID'd minority group has ever gotten anywhere painting their community as the most oppressed. This is one of the reasons why the LGBTQ advocacy community has often been at odds with the black community when it has attempted to compare the struggles. Nine out of ten times it's coming from a place of complete ignorance of the actual black experience, like racism is something out of history but what's happening to the LGBTQ community is real. Nobody wants to be told that the way they navigate throughout society- and the types of prejudice their community struggles with- is only relevant to the degree it can be used to assist another community. It's incredibly assumptive and dismissive.
The minority olympics have got to stop. And I say this as a queer woman.
