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#threats
The Plot to Take Down America: Zhu Zhu Christmas Hamsters AKA "Mister Squiggles"
You thought the foreign agent that'd attempt to bring down American would be named something more discreet (or cooler) than "Mister Squiggles," didn't you? Hence, the ingenious of it all. Mister Squiggles is here, and he wants to destroy us. More » -
#science
Scientist Tries to Find Man Who Has Never Watched Porn: Can't
One of the basic components of a scientific study is the control group. For a study about the effects of pornography on men's sexuality, the control group would be composed of men who haven't consumed porn. These men don't exist. More » -
#sigh
A Tale of American Redemption in One Sentence: Michael Vick
"The boos turned to cheers when Vick scored on a 5-yard run in the third quarter for his first touchdown of the season." [AP via NYT] -
#badvertising
Presenting the Worst Health Care Issue Spot, Ever: "I Guess I'm a Racist"
Any video emailed to you with the words "oh christ" as the only context with which to view it is worth a look. This did not disappoint. Via Andrew Sullivan, presenting the worst issue-ad I've seen in a long time. More » -
#accidents
Weezer's Rivers Cuomo Injured in Bus Accident, Sweater Possibly Destroyed
No! A nice, friendly rock star named Rivers Cuomo who leads up awesome rock band Weezer got into a bus accident earlier this morning in Upstate New York. More » -
#operationlovetap
The Tiger Woods Mistress Dossier, Updated: Sex Reports, SNL, and A Numbered List
Two more—two more!—Tiger Tails came out this morning. Are you sure you didn't sleep with Tiger Woods? The Tiger Woods Mistress Dossier has been updated. The full list, after the jump. More » -
#altarcations
Scoring Sunday's Nuptials: In Which Destiny Aligns Us With the Vows Section
Don't think you're ever getting married? You probably won't, you jaded prick/insecure pansy. You think marriage is "outdated," right? Talk to the Phyllis Nefler about "progressive" as she explains the NYT's Weddings & Celebrations connection with fighting the alien threat. More » -
#pirates
Somali Pirates: Ballin' Dangerously Out of Control
Bling Bling, go the Somali Pirates. After all, what, you think they do it because it's fun to be a pirate? Not necessarily. They're do it for the scrilla, the scratch, the cold, hard cash. And now they're getting spendy. More » -
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#deaththreats
The Nature of President Obama's Death Threats: Peaked Early, Still Bad, Mostly Scary White Guys
Touchy subject of would-rather-not proportions: threats made against the 44th American President. There are fine lines between free-speech and danger. The New York Times reports on the people who draw them seeing an early spike, but still being strong concerns. More » -
#notafraidtobeservicey
Because There Won't Always be a "Subway Hero" Ready for their Big Moment.
Yesterday, 1:15PM, Union Square Uptown 4/5/6: Guy slips into the gap. "He suffered head, neck, shoulder and chest injuries after getting himself wedged between the train and the platform." Be careful out there, kids! Your mothers/bloggers are worried. [NY Post] -
#gossiproundup
Britney Spears Was Molested as a Young Girl, According to Her Hotmess Courtney Loves
Hotmess Courtney Love reports that hotmess Britney Spears was molested as a kid. Usher is a girlyman. Captain Scuzzybutt Esq. will make Page Six one day. Natalie Portman's "tits." Barbara Cocoran's PR team. Presenting your late-edition Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup: More » -
#hivefive
Five Best Outlining Tools
Outlines are useful for more than just recalling painful memories of high-school research papers. This week we're taking a look at the five favorite outlining tools of Lifehacker readers. [Lifehacker] -
#collegefootball
BCS Chaos Is The Buzzword Of The Weekend
To those of you rooting for the BCS to embarrass itself on a national stage last night, take heart: we are left with the least desirable national championship matchup imaginable. [Deadspin] -
#openthread
Saturday Night Special
Is everyone tired of sex? Tiger might be. Politicians definitely aren't, and neither are Tay². Hopefully, Jeter's is worth it. Paul Anka obviously is. Here's your Saturday Night open thread. Oh, and as for me? More » -
#operationlovetap
The Many Troubles of Tiger Woods: A Mistress Dossier (Updated)
Wow. A fourth mistress: out of the woodwork, claiming to have slept with Tiger Woods. The number of opportunities to make bad golf jokes is extraordinary. Let's try to resist the temptation as we count up Tiger's many strokes. More »
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#badvertising
Domino's Doesn't Deliver to 'Jersey Shore': Advertising, Pulled
Alternate headline: "Irony of MTV's Jersey Shore Losing Advertising by Business Offensive to Most Italian-Americans Obviously Lost on Both Parties." Whatever; they're just not going to be in on the fist-pumping fun. Pass the hair gel. [TMZ] -
#breaking
Alexa Ray Joel Rushed to St. Vincent's for Drug Overdose, Possible Suicide Attempt
Billy Joel's daughter with Christie Brinkley, singer-songwriter Alexa Ray Joel, rushed to St. Vincent's, is there in stable condition. An AP source cited overdosing on pharmaceuticals, speculating a suicide attempt. A publicist has a stonewall, saying they're "assessing her needs." More » -
#thejews
Yes, you New York ignoramuses. There are in fact Jews in Montana.
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#ultimategawkerstalker
Ultimate Gawker Stalkers: Derek Jeter's Starbucks and The Minka Kelly Problem
Sometimes, multiple Gawker Stalker sightings create mosaic portraits of celebrities in their seemingly unobserved moments. We've got one better, today: an operative working at a Derek Jeter-frequented Starbucks in Tampa, who sees girlfriend Minka Kelly as the once-benevolent Jeter's downfall. More » -
#openthread
Urban Meyer Aborts His Defensive Line: Your SEC Championship Preview / Open Thread
So last weekend I went with @girlfriend to the teensie tiny town of Wetumpka, Alabama, which meant I had the chance to see the Iron Bowl in its natural habitat. [Deadspin] -
#thingsweactuallylike
Evil Genius Japanese Cartoons: Google's Latest Subversive Move Towards World Domination
You have to admire Google's attempts at appearing friendly while becoming the all-controlling Eye of Sauron through Big Brother-esque takeovers of every piece of information in the universe. Starting with pretty, Kindergarten Kolor logos to this dangerously twee Japanese cartoon. More » -
#hipsters
Prohibition for Pansies: Bathtub Bootlegging Hipster Juice
File Under: Ideas Bad for Humanity. An industrious writer embarked on a mission to recreate the now-banned Hipster Holy Water known as Sparks. Reactions? "God, that's so fucking gross," and "This is the best day of my life." Success! [SFWeekly] -
#swiftthinking
Is Taylor Swift Being Set Up For A Fall?
Unlike seemingly everyone else in the universe, Taylor Swift is having an excellent year. 2009 has been remarkable for Swift, who has seen her career take off in a fairly astronomical fashion. But is she being set up to fail? [Jezebel] -
#trendbusting
The Dumbest Fashion Coinage Maybe Ever: Men + Cleavage = Heavage
Every once in a while, a trend piece is groundbreaking in identifying a movement in a zeitgeist. The other 99/100 are inherently ridiculous. This is no exception. The Wall Street Journal has penned an investigation into "Heavage." Yes: men's cleveage. More » -
#pitches
Deadspin Films Presents: "High And Outside: The Dock Ellis Story"
Sporting apparel/culture site No Mas recently released the animated story of Dock Ellis, who threw a no-hitter on acid—fucking ACID—and died last December. Time for his biopic, yeah? Let's cast and storyboard this thing. To Hollywood we go! [Deadspin] -
#divorce
Trendspotting: Does Paul Anka's Divorce Signal Start of the Winter of Our Maritial Disquiet?
Summer of Death? Sure. But Tiger, Tila Tequila, Ron Wood, Rihanna, and now Paul Anka—Paul Anka—and his wife having a domestic dispute? They each called 911 on the other earlier this week, and are now getting divorced. [ZombieRadar] -
#olympicshames
Winter Of Discontent: Learning To Love The Vancouver Games
Did you know that the Jordan Palmer of amateur sports, the Winter Olympics, happens this February? It's OK — red-blooded sports fans can't possibly be expected to transition from the rough and tumble to Vancouver's prissy wonderland. Or can they? [Deadspin] -
#politics
America's New Politics: Dildos, Mistresses, and Sex Hotlines for Uninsured Children
Florida Governor Charlie Christs: having parents of uninsured children call sex hotlines. Montana Senators: nominated mistresses to be U.S. Attorneys. Republicans running for the New Jersey's state legislature: campaigning for The Dildo Party. Today's politics are for dicks and pussies. More » -
#glaadhandling
GLAAD-Handed, Castle-Storming Adam Lambert to Come on The View
Yesterday: ridiculous PR kerfuffles by The Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation's attempts to condemn ABC for canceling supposedly-risque Adam Lambert performing on Kimmel or Dick Clark's Octogenarian NYE. Now, Glambert made The View, and GLAAD wrote a release. Naturally. More » -
#lifehackertop10
Top 10 Downloads for a Road Warrior Laptop
If you take your laptop to destinations beyond your couch, you expose it to intermittent connectivity, greater risk of theft, always-depleting batteries, and many other variables. Prepare your laptop for productivity on the go with these apps and utilities. [Lifehacker]
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