Whiteboyfunfark commented on David Hasselhoff To Spend Summer Scaring London Tourists

"Stuck with Boy George and now Hasselhoff?"

Whiteboyfunfark commented on The One With The Cast Of 'Friends' Wanting In On A Little Of That 'SATC' Movie Action

"Preproduction details:1."

Whiteboyfunfark commented on The Beverly Center Will Drink Your Milkshake!

"A lot filled with oil derricks (with or without the flower power paint jobs) would be still be a major improvement architecturally over the ugliness that is the Beverly Center."

Whiteboyfunfark commented on Amy Winehouse Says Something Crazy, Kanye West Responds With Something Slightly Less Crazy

"In Britspeak the c-word is nowhere near as shocking or forbidden as in American English, where it seems to be right on the mark in this case."

Whiteboyfunfark commented on L. Ron Hubbard Middle School Not An Indoctrination Center, Says Scientologist Founder Will Smith

"I'm imagining a big yellow spaceship with flashing stoplights picking up little Tom Cruise wannabees who head off to auditing after passing through the e-meter and surrendering their Adderall and Ritalin to the school nurse who knows how the mind works."

Whiteboyfunfark commented on Oliver Stone Turning 'W' Into Something Resembling 'Oil Fields Of Dreams'

"Unfortunately in no way imaginable can Stone make a bigger mess than eight years of Dubya in office."

Whiteboyfunfark commented on Did Verne Troyer Sell Off Sex Tape To Help Pay Down $280,000 Tax Debt?

""...it's being handled--I should say."

Whiteboyfunfark commented on K-Fed Gives Big Thumbs Up To The Movies He Watched On The Plane

"@Losin_it: In which, in a stunning reversal of this post's headline, the movies give big thumbs up K-Fed."

Whiteboyfunfark commented on Lindsay Lohan's 'Secret Half-Sister' Surfaces, Michael Lohan Excitedly Fuels Rumor's Truthiness

""Just like her?" It's like, yeah, motherf**cker, that kid is doomed to swerve drunkenly in and out of trendy rehab centers wearing hand-me-down cokepants and stolen fur coats until she unleashes her latent inner lesbian too late for anyone to care. You might wanna rethink this, Mom."

Whiteboyfunfark commented on Breaking! Literally! Car Smashes Into iO West Comedy Theater

"Isn't Dad still in charge of Britney's Starbucks runs?"

Whiteboyfunfark commented on Breaking: Mary-Kate Olsen Capable Of Smiling, Making Dirty Old Men Horny

"She's gonna give Ben Kingsley cooties."

Whiteboyfunfark commented on Top Ten Worst Kissers In Hollywood: From The 'Icky' To The 'Sweaty' To Tongues That Taste Like 'Kitty Litter'

"What is Corey Haim so worried about?"

Whiteboyfunfark commented on This Is Hands Down The Lamest Commercial We Have Ever Seen

"Crazy Gideon is just an unintelligible rehash of the infamous 1980's East Coast staple, Crazy Eddie. That idiotic yellow blond-permed LEEDS Mattress guy wins the worst commercial/logo/graphics contest hands down."

Whiteboyfunfark commented on Girls Everywhere Clamor For Uplifting 'Pecked to Within an Inch of Her Life' Barbie

"@NotReadyForPrimeTime: Norma Barbie wouldn't need dialogue either, because she had FACES. @katiebug: It also lets the little brothers of the world off the hook for that shoebox full of disembodied Barbie parts found at the bottom of the toychest."

Whiteboyfunfark commented on Sh*t, P*ss, F*ck, C*nt, C**ks**ker, Motherf**ker and T*ts: George Carlin Is No Longer With Us

"Watching those clips made me laugh so hard that all I can say is "okay you f**ckers I'm going to tinkle now." What a shame in this day and age to lose a commedian who was actually funny."

Whiteboyfunfark commented on Paris Hilton Proves You Can Never Be Too Rich Or Too Thin, But You Can Be Too Stoned

"A few lines of good Bolivian flake up the nose and those munchies pounds will disappear faster than Parisite's plans to visit Rwanda."

Whiteboyfunfark commented on Girls Everywhere Clamor For Uplifting 'Pecked to Within an Inch of Her Life' Barbie

"@harshmellow: Can't wait for the Tallulah Bankhead 'Lifeboat' Barbie: diamond bracelet, run in her nylons, lipstick at the ready, a little camera that disappears shortly after purchase, and no underpants."

Whiteboyfunfark commented on Girls Everywhere Clamor For Uplifting 'Pecked to Within an Inch of Her Life' Barbie

"@FourInchHeels: Unfortunately "Will we ever have enough clothes?" "Math is tough!" and "Wanna have a pizza party?" just can't express the giddiness of having your eyes pecked out by a gigantic ravenous flock of pissed off starlings."