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Crime
Secret Service To Arrest Sarah Palin
Ha ha, just kidding. The plucky Alaska Maverick is just inspiring death threats, not inciting them! At a rally held earlier this week in 1938, Palin accused Barack Obama of "palling around with terorrists." At that, a man in the crowd shouted "kill him!" Turns out you are not allowed to shout "kill him" in reference to a nominee for president. So the Secret Service totally promises to investigate! If they can find the guy and verify that he said "kill him" and not "boo-urns." Get your alibi in order, Lieberman! [Radar]
Exclusive
Debate Preview! (And Liveblog!)
It will be boring. John McCain will be friendly and upbeat to questioners but still cold to Obama. Obama will be well-prepared and not at all nasty, again. McCain's shot at the presidency will continue to gradually escape him, leaving him increasingly tortured and miserable. Update: Come back here at 9 for the liveblog!
Magazines
'Atlantic' Finishes Rebranding Just In Time for Death of Print
It seems like just last April that the venerable old Atlantic Monthly (wait, sorry, it's just The Atlantic now) launched a web-focused redesign based on the helpful input of presumably expensive "brand consultants." And, what do you know, it was just last April! But now we're in phase two of the magazine's makeover, which means increasingly insane covers and slightly more attractive blogs for their hundred bloggers (NB: we do actually like most of their bloggers, especially Ta-Nehisi Coates, James Fallows, and crazy Andrew Sullivan—all better than TNR, basically). Here's the announcement! But will this save the magazine? More »
Media
'Times' Enabled Palin's Crypto-Fascism Tour
So. The McCain campaign oddly decided to run against the media this year. It's not that odd, because Republicans have been doing it quite successfully since 1968, but this is the first year they've had a candidate who started off beloved by the media. And they just sorta pissed that away. Then in running against the media, they pissed off the media, and suddenly John McCain can't get any favorable coverage anywhere, and then they push back againt the media even more, and then Times executive editor Bill Keller says: “My first tendency when they do that is to find the toughest McCain story we’ve got and put it on the front page, just to show them that they can’t get away with it.” Sorta giving the game away! So that explains the gambling story. But those terrible old standards of make-believe "fairness" are what then led the Times to enable the insane and vicious tone the campaign suddenly took this week. More »
sarah palin
Ok, surely you've seen this somewhere today, right? Sarah Palin doodled on some paper back in 1996 when she was deciding to run for mayor and basically she is a 10-year-old girl. Or was still a 10-year-old girl in 1996. Now, adjusting for her slow development, she's clearly in her "bitchy teenager" stage which is why she keeps telling John McCain she wants to go to Michigan and disobeying his strict order not to bring up Jerimiah Wright all the time. [TNR/The Plank]
Palin: Vote Ponies/Do You Think Todd Likes Me '08!
Ok, surely you've seen this somewhere today, right? Sarah Palin doodled on some paper back in 1996 when she was deciding to run for mayor and basically she is a 10-year-old girl. Or was still a 10-year-old girl in 1996. Now, adjusting for her slow development, she's clearly in her "bitchy teenager" stage which is why she keeps telling John McCain she wants to go to Michigan and disobeying his strict order not to bring up Jerimiah Wright all the time. [TNR/The Plank]
Projection
McCain: Obama is "Touchy" and "Angry"
The cornerstone of so-called Rovian politics is "attack your opponent on his strengths." At its most basic, perfect level, it means attack war hero John Kerry for being a spineless anti-American coward. McCain tried it early this season: Obama is popular and energizing, just like a dumb blonde celebrity. Everyone cooed and said "oh good one Mr. McCain." But that line wasn't enough to get McCain through the end of the summer, let alone the fall. So now, yes, Steve Schmidt and John McCain have developed and employed a brilliant new twist on Karl Rove's old dictum: attack your opponent on your own weaknesses! More »
horse race
Hey Barry, Don't Make McCain's Mistake
So this weekend, the McCain camp called up all the reporters they're still speaking to to be like, "fuck it, we're going negative." The reporters were like, "going?" And McCain's people were all, "no, like super negative!" Then Sarah Palin showed up saying nonsense and the press backlash was immediate. You don't call up the press corps to announce that you're finally utterly trashing your Honorable Brand, for good, when they're in the middle of tearing you apart for abandoning your Honorable Brand to begin with, guys. Sheesh. But Steve Schmidt can't grasp that it's not 2004 and, more importantly, John McCain thinks he is still the honorable one, because he personally dislikes Barack Obama. Regardless, Obama's in a fine position right now! He's winning, his favorables are great, his Brand is still in tip-top shape, and everyone is crowing about how much smarter his campaign has been. So why's he going and ruining that with this Keating 5 business? More »
The panic of '08
Can We Blame the Media?
Well yes, sure, of course we can. But how? It's easiest to just blame greedy bankers or something, because Wall Street assholes act the same way in good times and in bad, and we lionize them in good and castigate them in bad (also we deregulate them in good and bail them out in bad, but whatevs). But now we have our media-blaming excuse: Howard Kurtz, media "critic" for the Washington Post, has weighed in on the financial crisis and is appointing blame in equal measure to everyone! That is the fair way to do things, you know. So hey let's join him in blaming the MSM. More »
journalismism
AP Switches Tanks, Calls Palin a Racist
The new Associated Press guidelines on election coverage have been controversial, due mostly to the role of Washington Bureau Chief Ron Fournier, a probable Republican and admirer of John McCain. Fournier's new rules allow more of a reporter's voice in wire reports, less caging about "fairness", and generally ask that AP writers say it like it is. What that led to earlier this year annoyed liberals to no end. But at some point the race shifted in Obama's favor, and the AP followed suit. Last month they ran a devastating analysis piece on how John McCain lies about everything—that piece was instrumental in changing the McCain media narrative for good. But the selection of Sarah Palin has really sent the wire service right into the famous tank. This weekend they called Palin a big racist! More »
Week in Review
The Week We Won the War on Money
- So what the hell happened this week? We sure don't know! No one cared about gambly John McCain, Hamilton became embroiled in a Raymond Chandler book by way of a Coen Brothers comedy, your money continued burning, The New York Sun finally shut down and we weren't too broken up about it, celebrity sex ruined America, and Ian and Moe were on Gossip Girl.
- NBC got boring, CNBC less so. The Wall Street Journal was positively excitable this month!
- We are racists. Broke racists.
- We read every blog on the internet. Make us your vice president, you betcha, doggone it, there you go again Joe Six-Pack. Toot toot.
- Viral Video died for your sins.
- Reality, like Gwen Ifill, is in the tank for Obama. P.J. O'Rourke is in the tank for the guy who maybe slept with his wife.
- Celebrity designers who don't suck? Not on this season's Project Runway. GOD WE HATE THOSE PEOPLE.
- We are all getting little crash courses in economics! Of course what we need are crash courses in hunting and gathering.
- Ha ha Sarah Palin has a vagina.
- We printed some of our hate mail. But we didn't print the best one: the email said, in its entirety, "I am going to find out where you live and kill you in your sleep." This was written in COMIC SANS.
- Nick Denton fired 19 people, including Moe.
Clips
Sarah Palin 'Folksy' Everyone On TV Declares
Here is a clip of everyone on TV trying desperately to explain Sarah Palin's lousy, winky, over-rehearsed debate performance. All of them say she was "folksy," a useless term that means she drops her g's when she speaks. That is literally all it means. Well, that and "she is a little dumb and a very nice example of the kind of condescending to rural voters and poors that we always admonish in Democrats and always celebrate in Republicans." Hey, click on this and watch astute political analysis by people who are very secure in their high-paying jobs! (Thanks, Intern Chris Person!)
Media
'My Name is Earl' Audience Sticks Around for Boring Political Talk
So 40 million people watched Joe Biden be his usual affable self and Sarah Palin look terrified and panicky as she struggled to finish every 90 second answer. Wow! That's more than any debate since 1992, when Ross Perot was more entertaining than anything else on television! Also this is a hilarious paragraph: More »
Debates
Why Joe Biden Won
Because journalists and people on TV have been focusing exclusively on Sarah Palin for more than a month now. The people familiar with Senator Joe Biden are the people already inclined to vote for him. The uninformed just-now-paying-attention "undecideds" who tuned in last night were introduced to this smart, reassuring guy. And the Obama campaign debate strategy is reassurance—don't worry, you don't need to vote for the old white guy, we do know what we're doing. It's brilliant and it worked as well as ever last night. (Also his FUCKING FAMILY DIED.) To sum up, we were right. (Also the best part of CNN's coverage last night was the ladies maxing out on approval for Biden in his opening statement until the shot switched to a view of his bald spot and terrible plugs, at which point support of undecided women plummeted.)
Scandal
Leibovitz Shock: Miley Photog to Shoot One-Year-Old!
Terrible celebrity photographer Annie Leibovitz has been documenting the development of the innocent young New York Times Building, and tomorrow she is going to drape it in a sexy sheet and photograph it. So watch out! She's going to do this in a helicopter, flying well below standard FAA restrictions, and then she'll shoot some wolves. They had to write a letter to the neighbors apologizing in advance for having a famous controversial celebrity photographer hanging around in a helicopter all day while they're trying to work.
Joe Biden
Expectations Game Works Both Ways
If we may respectfully disagree with everyone on Earth, Joe Biden will do fine. The expectations are so ridiculously low for Sarah Palin that smart people know any half-competent performance will be met with cheers and audible relief and the nation will love her again. But you know what? That's all meta-expectations gaming for Biden. More »
Sad
Every Bad Thing Is Hank Paulson's Fault
Remember the terrible story about the naked mentally ill guy whom the NYPD tasered, causing his death? Yes, well, if you thought that story could not get more awful, you were wrong. The cop who ordered the fatal tasering killed himself this morning. Also, the Times illustrated this story with a photo of Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson, and every joke we could make about that fact is probably in terrible taste. [NYT]
Not sad
Jeffrey Epstein's Prison Store Receipt
Weird "billionaire" "financier" Jeffrey Epstein is in jail right now, for soliciting prostitution. The guy loved sexy massages from underaged girls, and so his jet-set lifestyle is now a bit less jet-setty. No more private planes and hanging out with Kevin Spacey. But prison's not so terrible! The Smoking Gun reports: "During his first three months in jail, the 55-year-old massage enthusiast has spent about $1250 on a wide variety of snacks (moon pies, BBQ chips, cheddar cheese squeezers) and skin care products (Lubriderm, hand lotion, and petroleum jelly)." Attached: one of his commissary receipts! Epstein seems to be buying a lot of extra things, presumably for use as barter. Because of the stock market, you know. And because of prison. [TSG]
from the archives
VP Debate Preview: Patronizing Ladies Night!
The inclusion of a woman on a major party's presidential ticket is unprecedented... for the Republicans. The Democrats did it back in 1984, when Walter Mondale selected Geraldine Ferrarro for his suicide mission against Reagan. Ferraro was considered risky due to her inexperience, but her selection and her brash, confident campaigning bumped Mondale way up in the polls. The VP debate that year pit George H. W. Bush, who'd been in Washington for years in various positions of authority and who was considered something of a foreign policy expert, against Ferraro, who'd only been in the House of Representatives for a couple years. The result? See for yourself in the clip above, in which Ferraro fights back against condescension from Vice President Bush. Think of it as a preview of tonight's Biden/Palin debate, except for the fact that Ferraro is smart and can speak English.
from the mailbag
On The Internet, Everyone Knows You Want to Kill Them
It's a fact of life on the internet that when you are mentioned (and linked to) unfavorably by certain high traffic right-wing bloggers, you promptly start receiving some of the most remarkable hate mail you've ever seen. It begins immediately, peaks overnight, and continues usually for about 72 hours or so. Then everyone forgets about it or gets bored and only a few wackos send you the odd death threat for another week or two. (That cycle of mass hatred is not exclusive to pissing off the far-right—obsessive fans of certain celebrities act in much the same fashion!—but Malkin-readers are the form's purest expression.) For your edification, we've run some numbers on keywords used in the hate mail sent to us after we reprinted some of Sarah Palin's emails, an act of malicious terrorism that got us called all sorts of names by Michelle Malkin, Bill O'Reilley, and presumably many more. Why is this relevant now? Hah, two of our favorite conservative bloggers just got caught up in the same shitstorm of right-wing bile. More »
journalismism
Palin On Hewitt: 'I Am a Regular Joe Six-Pack American' And Other Gibberish
Sarah Palin was kind of embarrassed by her interviews with Charlie Gibson and Katie Couric, so she sought out the more comforting company of Secret King of All Hacks Hugh Hewitt for her most recent solo media appearance. Hewitt, who is really indefensibly hacky, interviewed her like a child he was particularly fond of. And she responded like a particularly slow child. Above, the very first question from Hugh and Palin's very first answer. You will not be disappointed in either of them! (Because you should be incapable of disappointment by now, haven't you been paying attention?) More »
The panic of '08
'Times' Presents Every Quotable Demographic's Opinion On Bailout Bill
The New York Times is quite concerned about this economy and this "bailout" that is probably going to pass the Senate today in the most complicated form so far presented to the American People. They note, today, that its fate as political poison was probably set when it was labeled a "bailout" from the beginning. But just maybe, institutionally, as the voice of the moderate liberal establishment, the Times needs this bailout to work! So they spend a great deal of time trying to explain it, and they also seek to explain the effect of the bailout and The Crisis on You, the Little Guy on Main Street. And every other street! Join us, won't you, as we tag along on the Times Bailout Tour '08. More »
family matters
William F. Buckley, Asshole Even In Death
Conservative thinkin' guy William F. Buckley left his huge fortune almost entirely to his son, novelist Christopher Buckley. The rest went to Chris Buckley's two children with his wife. None of it went to Chris Buckley's third child, who he fathered with his former publicist. That child, 7-year-old Johnathan, suffers from ADHD. Buckley pays $3k a month to the mother, Irina Woelfle. Woelfle would maybe like that amount raised a bit, because now Chris Buckley has like tens of millions of dollars! But rascally old William F. Buckley made sure, on his death bed, to deny this illegitimate grandchild a dime of his fortune. He called him out by name in the will! More »
Race
