Ironically, the punishment for this is jail, where he can beat off for his entire sentence if he wants
That's nothing. You know how much Carl Pavano stole from Cashman?
#neverforget
#neverforget
Since when did Deadspin become the Puritan Post? There's more finger wagging here than a fat man getting a rectal exam.
Oh, right, the guy who also really liked hookers left a couple of weeks ago. Man, this place has changed
This is because Leitch gave you shit the other day, right?
I'm pretty sure I would have never agreed to be a Deadspin commenter if I knew I'd be making a living
This warrants more jail time than killing Michael Jackson?
Olbermann looks like he can be bought off from offenses like these with breakroom donuts
As a Giants fan, I was sort of half-hoping for the 49ers to pull it out just so Jim Harbaugh could unwisely pull some sort of braggadocio stunt on Tom Coughlin and end up with his neck arteries ripped out onto the Candlestick Park turf. I am sad this didn't happen.
Am I a terrible person for saying he looks like someone who was molested?
Ah, so they detained you against your will and violated your civil rights. But did they share any opinions about Michael Vick?
Eli's TV has the Cartoon Network bug screen-burned in the lower right corner. He lost the remote months ago, never bothered looking for it. Doesn't even know how to turn it off, but that's ok because Nabisco pays the electric bill.
Meanwhile, Brandon Jacobs still has problems understanding all those Aqua Teen Hunger Force references.
Meanwhile, Brandon Jacobs still has problems understanding all those Aqua Teen Hunger Force references.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH no fear at all
If the punishment were "you'll cough up my web password to 4chan again" then I might actually be anxious.
If the punishment were "you'll cough up my web password to 4chan again" then I might actually be anxious.
Pitcher available. I only throw overhand, though. With rocks. To the inside.
"OH WHAT A DROP OF PREMATURE EJACULATE JUST CAME OUT! WHO BUT!"
I once saw a roulette ball hang on the edge of the rim wheel for eight minutes. Of course, no one touched it, and when it finally dropped into a number, virtually everyone at the table won their bets. So.
Dan finally has something to ram back into Boomer's face the next time Boomer brings up Super Bowl rings
What, this isn't Daulerio's beat?
If only this one guy was a more responsible person, the Redskins would be contending for a playoff spot right now.
#hahahahahahahaha
#hahahahahahahaha
@IronMikeGallego: Reasonable doubt! Always had trouble with the assumption that stupid-ass OJ was suddenly in and out of there like the freaking CIA taking out a South American druglord and then somehow made all the hard evidence disappear.
The Leyritz argument is much less likely, but still plausible. I don't know how it gets him off the hook for DUI, though. You CAN legally demonstrate intoxication without a BAC reading, you know.
The Leyritz argument is much less likely, but still plausible. I don't know how it gets him off the hook for DUI, though. You CAN legally demonstrate intoxication without a BAC reading, you know.
