Does Miguel Cabrera Need a Valtrex Prescription?

Wow, that's a grody canker, isn't it? Anyway, Michigan and Notre Dame are still battling it out and USC and Ohio State comes later, so consider this your open thread. And oh, I have a fun story for y'all! [Deadspin]

Sean Salisbury Gets Fired Hard for the Money

Yesterday we learned that Sean Salisbury was fired from his gig at a Dallas radio stadium, allegedly for more cellphone/dong photo hijinks. The Dallas Morning News spoke to Salisbury about his departure, and he tells a different story, naturally. [Deadspin]

Michael Jordan's Tears Do Not Prove He's Human

I was out last night so I didn't catch Michael Jordan's Hall of Fame induction speech until this morning, but it was pretty damn classic and incredibly moving, and no one seemed more moved by it than MJ himself. [Deadspin]

A Weary Nation Turns to Cornholing for Leisurely Recreation

Occasionally a sport comes along that truly defines its era. Fittingly, as Barack Obama prepares to invade the South with an army of homosexuals who will sodomize every Republican's children and pets, cornholing is suddenly all the rage. [Deadspin]

Cris Collinsworth Likes His Ladies Very Young and Extremely Stupid

Every now and then someone will dig up a long lost video clip from the past that's so amazing in every way that you have to watch it multiple times to confirm it's real. This is one of those videos. [Deadspin]

This Pig AIDS Aggression Will Not Stand, Man

Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to tips@deadspin.com. Subject: Morning crap. [Deadspin]

Are Cameron Diaz and Keanu Reeves Feeling Minnesota Together?

Cameron Diaz and Keanu Reeves are allegedly dating, Spencer Pratt wants to be the next Brad Pitt, Michael Jackson's gay lover speaks, Hayden Panettiere is dating the Pink Taco dude, Lindsay Lohan loses her phone and Penelope Cruz gets thicker. More »
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Heat Wave

Steven Baldoni, a hair stylist from Paris, sunbathes in the oppressive heat yesterday in Bryant Park. [AP/Bebeto Matthews] More »

Is This the Summer of Death for Movie Stars?

What's happened to America's movie stars in the summer of 2009? A slew of boldface names have opened films this summer and most of them have tanked hard. Some people are blaming Twitter, but the answer is really quite simple. More »

O'Reilly: Jon Stewart's Just 'Dancing Down the Liberal Yellow Brick Road'

Last night on The Daily Show, Jon Stewart and his staff compiled a pretty amazing takedown of Fox News, branding the network as "the new liberals." Bill O'Reilly was not pleased by this, so tonight he offered a rebuttal. More »
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