heartbreakturnip commented on Is Tom Ford Trying to Fool the Straights into Seeing His Gay, Gay Movie?

"They'd pay considerably more than that for film of Tom Ford taking a shit."

heartbreakturnip commented on Scientists Prove Alcohol is Good for You Yet Again

"Listen: the only reason I'll improve my heart health because of drinking is because I typically refrain from eating (to include foods high in bad cholesterol, salt, fat, etc) when I want to get hammered."

heartbreakturnip commented on Page Six's Vendetta Against Levi Johnston Continues

"Do "eminent gossip columnists" really exist?"

heartbreakturnip commented on Outrage-Off: Glenn Beck vs. Wesley Pruden

"I was 'hired' at the Moonie Times as an editorial intern, mainly because Wes Pruden liked the fact that I had been a Marine."

heartbreakturnip commented on What Ever Happened to January Jones?

"Actual line from the GQ profile of January Jones: "During a visit to Paris, Jones had an epiphany at the gravesite of Doors frontman Jim Morrison." #madmen"

heartbreakturnip commented on Google Search Box Suggestions Allow Us to Peer into the Internet's Dark, Disturbing Id

"In order: "Help me Howard" "Help me God" "Help me grow" "Help me Rhonda" #google"

heartbreakturnip commented on Google Search Box Suggestions Allow Us to Peer into the Internet's Dark, Disturbing Id

"Many of these sound like the questions of lazy term paper writers."

heartbreakturnip commented on Papers Find Facebook Status too Risque to Print

""IHOP" is street slang for "jihad." #newsyoucanuse #journalismism"