hesperid commented on Wal-Mart Reports You To The Police For Not Allowing Them To Check Your Receipt

"What could you possibly steal between the register and the door?"

hesperid commented on Angry Message Board Rant Accuses Billy Bob Thornton Of Cyberstalking And Cocaine Abuse

"Yeah, the psychic hotline job pretty much nullifies any credibility she may have had."

hesperid commented on Meth Advocacy In Wired Gets The Times All Uptight

"I read the same thing about Progivil then looked it up to try to find any bad news..."

hesperid commented on James Frey Challenges Writer's Block To A Fight

"Well, he's got a lot of dick grow back after Oprah skinned him so this all makes perfect sense."

hesperid commented on The Finale Of 'The Hills': 'Imagine Everything You've Seen And Then Completely Unimagine It'

"I've tried to watch this show but simply cannot stand these people. I swear I've heard more interesting, fulfilling and funny dialoge between dumb fuck soroity friends in the dressing rooms next to me at Forever 21."

hesperid commented on Super Deluxe Becomes The Internet's Arrested Development

"@oldgrimy: I promise: He will not dilute."

hesperid commented on Super Deluxe Becomes The Internet's Arrested Development

"I want to see Baby Cakes in Italy describing famous artwork."

hesperid commented on "I'm not saying I'm depending on Maxim to keep me alive over there, but it helps."

"So I'll be needing to send my poor brother porn taped to the pages of a Reader's Digest?"

hesperid commented on Marc Jacobs Imploding

"I stopped respecting his "work" as soon as he took those vintage find-it-on-ebay for $30 PanAm airline bags and plastered his name across it then called it 200 bucks."

hesperid commented on Awww... Two Thai Kids Rescuing a Puppy

"Why didn't the dog just walk up the ramp?"

hesperid commented on More Misspelled Protest Signs In Texas

"So glad Austin doesn't have anything to do with the rest of the state..."

hesperid commented on A Brief History Of 'Jailbait' Exploitation

"[www.einsiders.com] One for the ladies, let's not forget little hottie Atreyu from Never Ending Story."

hesperid commented on Black Guys No Longer Considered A Plague

"They replaced it with Darth Vader..."

hesperid commented on Gay Rappers: Don't Fear This Book

"So, you mean these exquisitly groomed men with diamond earrings and watches, LV money clips, and Prada sunglasses who rap about Dom Perignon and have their own lines of perfume and clothing are closeted gays???"

hesperid commented on Fashion Designer Will Not Be Wearing His McDonald's Uniforms

"I'm confused."

hesperid commented on Mmmm, Test Tube Meat

"@Nic Fit: What "wild"?"

hesperid commented on Weirdest Grossest Abortion Art Project Ever

"I bet anyone anything that it's just her acting for the camera and regular old period blood."

hesperid commented on Rape T-Shirt Could Be Even Bigger Than Abortion T-Shirt

"I raped (with big arrow pointing to the side)"