icallthebigonebitey commented on "I Sure Wish Great Aunt Ethel Would Stop Using My Body..."

""Justin wanted me to come out in a kimono, we had an awful fight...""

icallthebigonebitey commented on Anderson Cooper Is Not Your Dancing Monkey Boy

"@rabbitangstrom: we took turns. what's your favorite Rabbit book?"

icallthebigonebitey commented on Anderson Cooper Is Not Your Dancing Monkey Boy

"I truly harbor no ill will towards that hairdo of Ellen's, but everytime I see her all I can think is 'I let my long-lost twin sister cut my hair, so how long do I have to endure this dreadful summer camp before I can hightail it to foxy Brian Keith's ranch in Carmel?'"

icallthebigonebitey commented on "Yes You Are Here, Amy. You're Sitting Right There. And Stop Calling Me Mrs. Torrance."

"All work and no crack makes Amy..."

icallthebigonebitey commented on We're Not Cool Enough to Use iTunes DJ

"If someone interrupts "Beverly Hills 90210: The Soundtrack" at one of my parties, they will immediately be asked to vacate the premises. Jeremy Jordan!"

icallthebigonebitey commented on Aretha's Hat Goes from Internet Meme to Actual Business

"@eXXX: I've always thought of myself as more of a cowardly, self-hating white boy."

icallthebigonebitey commented on Meet Bernie Madoff's New Pals

"This post makes me realize how much I miss "Oz"."

icallthebigonebitey commented on Laurel Touby: The College Years

"@HiredGoons: Amish Beard can put his feet on my rag rug anytime."

icallthebigonebitey commented on Laurel Touby: The College Years

"[To friend on the phone] And you do it on a cloud without getting pregnant OR herpes. [pause] Just a pink Trans Am and the guy, right? [pause] [incredulous] A BLACK GUY?"

icallthebigonebitey commented on In Which Tonya Harding Is Still Around, And Mad at Barack Obama

"You could hang a shower curtain on those bangs."