spitneybeers commented on Hidden Message

"Every time I read a clever piece like that, I think of my mother and how each time I'd go to school and learn things like which form of your to use, keeping track of i before e except after c and really none of it matters at all now."

spitneybeers commented on Sam Champion Outed By Bravo Exec

"@social_crimer: Or, on the off chance that it isn't true, you could replace the transitive property of equality with the republication property of libel law and boom!"

spitneybeers commented on Sam Champion Outed By Bravo Exec

"Andy Cohen is adorable and funny as hell, but unless he's gotten a whole lotta botox and tanning bed time in since I last checked, the picture of him on his blog is beyond Photoshopped."

spitneybeers commented on Zombies Bring Evil To Broadway

"The one and only show I've ever walked out of in my entire life, back when it was at New World Stages..."

spitneybeers commented on This Book-Blog Diagram May Be Truthier

"I read the other one as snarkily implying that people who read blogs would never deign to read their paperback incarnations, but this one does seem to, you know, make actual sense in a non-snarky way."

spitneybeers commented on Stabby Hack Hacks Back For Gory Tab Story

"Newser = Intern from NYU we can't really call a journalist..."

spitneybeers commented on Neat Food Sculptures

"Is there some law that food art must be inherently creepy?"

spitneybeers commented on Update: Britney Spears Is Not Pregnant, Thank You Very Much!

"Are we sure she isn't starring in the much-anticipated Apocalypto sequel "Apocalypto 2: Maya Oh Maya!"?"

spitneybeers commented on Mysterious Island Off Coast of New York Slighted

"But I thought I heard that Staten Island was the new Queens?"

spitneybeers commented on And the Stripster We Want To Hit It With the Most Is....

"@valet_of_the_dolls: AGREED."

spitneybeers commented on Britney's Toxic for New Parents

"I think the real question to be asked here is "And what names are you considering, Jamie-Lynn?" That baby-name stock will plummet faster than Bear Stearns's."

spitneybeers commented on Five Facebook Theories

"Based on who comes up in my list, it appears to be "People who may or may not have had an STI when they told you they loved you." Of course, that could just be an NYU-specific glitch."

spitneybeers commented on Britney's Toxic for New Parents

"@Miss Smith Drank Your Vodka: LEEEEAVE...."

spitneybeers commented on Which Stripster Dude Would You Hit It With?

"I'm just mad that former stripster "Josh," who was once described as looking like "a cheap Mediterranean rent boy," has had his photo album taken down."

spitneybeers commented on John McCain, Rest of America Hate Cindy McCain

"Heidi Montag?"