spitneybeers commented on National Money Chief Exposed As Hairless Wharton Grad

"@Tyrol_Kyd: This comment won't win a commie, but it did make my drunk ass do a spit take once I scrolled back up to the picture."

spitneybeers commented on Re-Thinking Your Sarah Palin Halloween Costume

"@EleanorRigby: Isn't "Slutty Sarah Palin" a little redundant?"

spitneybeers commented on Lindsay Lohan to Take Manhattan?

"@bytememehard: I heard she was planning on opening one, actually."

spitneybeers commented on Vogue Finally Did Something Right! (No Thanks To Anna Wintour.)

"*In this and many other cases, "you" = "me." Technically "you" would = "I" in that context, but whatevs."

spitneybeers commented on "A city is not a city without an Olive Garden"

"@BookishLookish: NYU building on University between Waverly and Eighth."

spitneybeers commented on Why Print Is Not Dead, Unintentionally Intelligent Design Edition

"@MosseyCade: Technically an orangutan is an ape..."

spitneybeers commented on New York to Compete With Paris Via Probably-Shitty Copycat Movie

"The thing about Paris je t'aime was that the vast majority of the shorts were great little stories in which Paris just happened to appear as a character of shorts."

spitneybeers commented on When Animals Attack Celebrities: 6 Harrowing Tales

"This is just like when a boll weevil attacked Mario Lopez's Achilles' tendon."

spitneybeers commented on Hidden Message

"Every time I read a clever piece like that, I think of my mother and how each time I'd go to school and learn things like which form of your to use, keeping track of i before e except after c and really none of it matters at all now."

spitneybeers commented on Sam Champion Outed By Bravo Exec

"@social_crimer: Or, on the off chance that it isn't true, you could replace the transitive property of equality with the republication property of libel law and boom!"