"Winning Oscars isn't important to me. Neither is 'making good movies' or 'acting well." You won't see me 'aiming for quality' or 'not making several terrible films every year.' Don't look to me for 'half-decent entertainment' or 'value for your movie dollar.'
"I'm not countercultural, but counter-critical. And counter-audience.
"I would like to find a way to embrace what Led Zeppelin did in filmmaking. Which is why my next movie will involve me shrieking in a high voice about Tolkien and Norse mythology, even though it won't be anywhere near as well-made as Lord of the Rings or even Thor.
"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to search for the original copy of the Declaration of Independence. Which I'll tear into bits and sew into my costume for Drive Angry 2: Driver Be Angrier.
"Did you know that when you type my name into Google, the next word it suggests is 'vampire'? Clearly, I must be doing something right."
"We have to fix this with a song! What rhymes with 'bondage'?"
"Bandage!"
"Baggage!"
"Fromage!"
"Well, keep working on it.... I'm due back at 'Desperate Housewives.' Gee, remember when I starred in all those cool David Lynch projects? Those were good days."
Sorry, but you've been scooped by the New York Times on the major breaking news that Kate Upton is hot.
What's funny is that above the fold, they have a photo of her covered up in hipster black leather. But if you scroll down, you see her walking a runway in a tiny bikini. That's how the dinosaur media keeps it classy!
Drink a quart and a half of Diet Pepsi; use the Porta-Potty; repeat. Who says you haven't learned anything about being a model?
Kanye's brilliant move this year was not showing up. It allowed everyone to realize how annoying Taylor Swift's "who, li'l ol' me?" act really is.
They pre-announce everything because they think it builds anticipation and makes you more likely to watch it.
(Plus, they're afraid a lot of people have no idea who many music acts are. Older people don't recognize that skinny tattooed guy from the Purple 4 or whatever, while younger people wonder why their medicated grandparents are singing in front of surfboards.)
The Oscars could take a page from the Grammys and have actors perform highlights from their movies live onstage.
Of course, to be truly similar, they'd mouth the lesser dialogue (and possibly some of the main dialogue) to prerecorded tracks.
Thanks for reminding me of Oliver on "The O.C." And of "The O.C.," for that matter.
The Carter Family? So this amazing musical dynasty now contains Jay-Z and Beyonce as well as June and Johnny Cash.
"It combines not only athletic prowess but hand eye coordination and the ability to throw a frisbee."
So does owning a dog.
Wonder how she feels about this?
Whether or not you agree with the name change, I think they dealt with this situation quite well. (Consider how badly some other companies would have handled it.)
I also think Enid rocks. Her messages were clear, polite and well-written, while displaying respect for the value of satire. Someone should give her a raise.
As someone who works right down the street from La Brea Tar Pits, I feel qualified to say that's not a real mammoth either.
That's the trouble with magazines today. You can kowtow to dogs all you want, but they still aren't going to mail in that subscription card.
Kudos for complicated rhymes!
One traumatic after-shave experience can stick with you for life.
There was an odd lass from L.A.
Who appeared on the TV all day
She said, "It will be lame
If I don't use my fame,"
So she shilled for an Oil of Old-Lay.
Who appeared on the TV all day
She said, "It will be lame
If I don't use my fame,"
So she shilled for an Oil of Old-Lay.
Maybe Fluffy's just not that into you.
No, I'm going to serve them all salmon salad in the shape of two Oscars.
That's great, Felicity. Now get back to school.
![[www.entertainmentearth.com]](http://www.entertainmentearth.com/images/AUTOIMAGES/NS03380lg.jpg){kind=link}