1. Befriend party photographers
Between Eli Roth's burly butt pics and Peaches Geldof's naked sex ones, this pair knows the power—and peril—of a well-timed photo op. After all, if a tree looks cool in a forest and nobody is there to photograph it, tweet it, and post it on Facebook, you may as well raze the whole damn rainforest because we'll all be dead before global warming matters, anyway. The Cobra Snake, party photographer to the young and vacant-eyed, battles global warming with this tweet. [Image via @thecobrasnake]