Gawker: Plots

FBI Foils Crazy Old Georgia Hicks' Big Talkin' Plot

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 10:20:22 EDT

No law enforcement agency in the world is better than our own FBI when it comes to thwarting terror plots that never would have come to fruition anyhow, because they consisted mainly of pitiful people sitting around boasting to FBI informants. The latest triumph by our domestic anti-terror heroes: saving America from a bunch of old Georgia loons who sat around the Waffle House talking about their big assassination ideas. More »

Inmate Wants to Kill and Eat Obama

Maureen O'Connor — Fri, 17 Dec 2010 15:05:02 EST

If you're getting a Secret Service beatdown, at least do it with gusto: Career criminal Gregory Brockman wrote a jailhouse letter threatening to kill the President and eat his flesh. This has been your creative assassination plot of the day. More »

Your Obligatory Note of Skepticism on the Latest Terror Plot

Hamilton Nolan — Tue, 02 Nov 2010 09:38:19 EDT

U.S. officials say that militants in Yemen sent several test packages through the mail last September as a "dry run" for last week's foiled international mail bomb plot. Of course, they've been wrong about these things before. More »

This Is the Imprisoned Terror Suspect Who Tried Out for Canadian Idol

Brian Moylan — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 18:21:03 EDT

Canadian Idol" alt="Click here to read This Is the Imprisoned Terror Suspect Who Tried Out for Canadian Idol" src="http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/7/2010/08/0826_canada_01.jpg"/>

Khuram Sher was one of three men arrested in Ottawa today under suspicion he planned to carry out attacks as a member of a terrorism group. He also sang Avril Lavigne's "Complicated" on Canadian Idol two years ago. Video below. More »

The Sinister Muslim Plot to Steal Time

Richard Lawson — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 10:37:27 EDT

It's real. The Saudi government is currently building an enormous clock tower in Mecca, set to Arabia Standard Time, that they hope will overshadow the Greenwich Observatory as the true center of the world's time. Yes. Arab Muslims: Time Thieves. More »

Community Board Endorses Ground Zero Muslim Center

Max Read — Wed, 26 May 2010 01:45:46 EDT

A Manhattan Community Board will back a plan for a Muslim community center near the WTC site. Angry people gathered to protest the Muslim plot to provide a "500-seat performing arts center, a culinary school, [and] a swimming pool." [NYT] More »

Letterman Extorter Pretty Scared Dave Might Kill Him

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 09:42:21 EST

Failed David Letterman extorter Joe Halderman was more than an inept criminal with an inept legal defense team; he was a severely paranoid inept criminal. He's just saying—who knows if Letterman might have him killed, or whatever? More »

Faux Charity Fashion's Night Out Only Raised Imaginary Money

Brian Moylan — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 13:21:23 EDT

Girl, we're still in recovery from Fashion's Night Out. Too bad the charitable arm of Anna Wintour's Make-People-Like-Me Tour 2009 didn't translate into cash for retailers. But nobody cares because the party was that fierce. More »

Confirmed: Seymour Hersh Was Right About The Dick Cheney 'Death Squad' Thing

The Cajun Boy — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 06:48:49 EDT

That dang Seymour Hersh. The New Yorker scribe is always running saying crazy things to scare the bejesus out of us and, unfortunately, he's always right. Just like when he mentioned that Dick Cheney was running a CIA "death squad." More »

Fort Dix Plotters Convicted of Hating America

Pareene — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 13:56:47 EST

All of the alleged Fort Dix plotters have been acquitted of attempted murder, but five have been convicted of "conspiring to kill military personnel." This is the end of their ridiculous trial. More »

Monkey Tries Old CIA Trick to Dupe Authorities

ian spiegelman — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 11:18:36 EDT

Despite their obvious evil, the monkeys have a shadow army, a veritable fifth column of monkey apologist humans secretly working to secure their overthrow of mankind. Some of them even live with the hairy hellions! When the law caught up with California human David Grigorian—who was sharing his Van Nuys home with a marmoset known only as Cheeta—he was ordered to hand the monkey over to Game and Wildlife officials, since he didn't have a permit for the animal. Instead, the monkey sympathizer showed up in court this week with a photo of Cheeta posing with a Mexian newspaper to convince a judge that the vine-climbing menace had fled south of the border. More »