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Mysteries
Why Did Sarah Palin Resign?
Sarah Palin's resigning from office. What the hell? And she's now supposedly telling people that she's done with politics forever. The entire thing is sketchy. The announcement, reasoning, speculation, and more Friday news-dumping after the jump. More » -
Gossip Roundup
I Want To Cry Justin Timberlake And Jessica Biel A River Of Domestic Empathy
Justin Timberlake, Jessica Biel, and Gary Coleman are all having relationship issues. Megan Fox: macking on Zac Efron and smack-talking Michael Bay. Liza's mob problems, Twilight's freak fanbase, and celebrity cocaine usage! Presenting your pre-Holiday Friday Gossip Roundup: More » -
Campaigns
Acting Like a Petulant Child Did Not Endear Sarah Palin to Her Handlers
During the McCain campaign, Roveian media strategist Steve Schmidt proved that he was a shitty Roveian media strategist. He was also responsible for the Palin pick. But he quickly grew to regret that.
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Breaking
Sarah Palin Resigning From Office
Governor of Russia's Neighboring American Atate and failed Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin is going to resign from her office as Alaska's Supreme Asskicker And Number One Mom. She's not going to be running for a second term. More » -
Simple truths
The Only Time We'll Say This: Gwyneth Paltrow Has a Point
Gwyneth Paltrow, while mostly annoying with her faux Britishness and William Joel-ing, has made at least one good and simple point. Especially as we leave work behind and try to enjoy a holiday weekend. The constant BlackBerrying? Getting really annoying. More » -
The Internet
50 Cent Squashes Beef With Pubescent Tween Dis Master
Canadian tween 'Pruane2Forever' is best known for calling out 50 Cent for having no street cred, in a YouTube video, filmed in Pruane's South Park poster-bedecked room. Now 50 got him, for real. Click to watch and learn (PR). -
Relocating
Sarah Jessica and Matthew Fleeing to Brooklyn?
We knew there was a reason we're leaving the neighborhood. Sarah Jessica Parker and her mighty steed Matthew Broderick might be movin' on over to Park Slope. The New York Post thinks they've found the family's apartment.
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Week in Review
The Week of 7,821 Weeks to Go
This week, a bad man went to jail, and many other bad men did not go to jail, no matter how much we wanted them to. More » -
Predictable Shitshows
Michael Jackson's Memorial Service: Free Online Tickets, "Broadcast Live Around The World"
Details for Michael Jackson's public memorial service on Tuesday are shaping up right now at a press conference. What's important: it's going to be broadcast live on TV and streamed, and tickets can be applied for online right now. More » -
Blind Items
Which Party Girl Is Nearly Bald from Hair Extension Abuse?
Today we have a lady who ruined her hair with extensions, a comedy actor whose drug habit is taking a toll on his film work, and a nice actor couple who are facing cheatin' issues. More » -
Linguistic Fascism
Karl Lagerfeld Will Not Tolerate Hoi Polloi Appropriations Of Chanel
Chanel, the legendary fashion brand run by Mugatu-esque overlord/enemy to Heidi Klums everywhere, Karl Lagerfeld, is pissed. They let everyone know how much they cringe when you use their name to refer to anything but Chanel. Dare speaketh Chanel?! More » -
Inside Baseball
Sony Knew What Soderbergh Was Up to on Moneyball Script
Yesterday we posted Sony's take on why Moneyball, the Soderbergh/Pitt film based on Michael Lewis' book, died five days before shooting was to start. Now someone close to the project has provided us with a different version of events.
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Conspiracies
Puking Pug Police Coverup Goes All the Way to the Top
Was puking pug dog owner Chrissie Brodigan roughed up by the NYPD simply for tending to her dog, and its throwup? The most powerful cop in New York is now involved in the case. Read between the lines, people.
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Pic Of The Day
Mourning Light
[That's light coming from within Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch early this morning, near Los Olivos, CA; image via Getty] -
Bright Ideas
Let's Screw Up the Entire Internet to Save Newspapers
The hot new idea among people who think about "journalism," and the sanctity thereof: let's ban linking, on the internet! Let's also ban wheels, in order to save the horse industry. Let's also ban talking about things!
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Mysteries
Where In the World is Ruth Madoff?
US Marshals came to evict Ruth Madoff from her fancy apartment today but guess what, she has moved to an undisclosed location. She's gone Cheney! If she's following our advice she's already in Botswana, shoveling poop. [NYP. Pic: Getty] -
Informatics
Mitt Romney's Foreign Policy in PowerPoint Form
Future president Mitt Romney is both a "Bainiac"—a data-obsessed business android indoctrinated into Bain and Company's cultish worldview—and a Mormon. So his foreign policy is a weird, numerological, schematic mess. Here it is in PowerPoint, his native language. More » -
Advertising
Should Police Academy Alumni Direct Microsoft Ads? No.
Microsoft has heard your pleas: it's pulled its "Worst Tech Commercial Ever," which tried to use a puking theme to sell Internet Explorer. And you'll never guess who the director was! You will never guess. More » -
Water Sports
The New York Times Would Like Your Children To Stop Pissing On Trees, Please
When a kid pisses on a tree in Manhattan, who hears it? The New York Times, of course! And they're out to take the little bastard to task. More »










