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#googleplex
Google CEO: Secrets Are for Filthy People
Eric Schmidt suggests you alter your scandalous behavior before you complain about his company invading your privacy. That's what the Google CEO told Maria Bartiromo during CNBC's big Google special last night, an extraordinary pronouncement for such a secretive guy. More » -
#breaking
Tiger Woods' Mother-in-Law Taken to Hospital from His House
There are reports that a blond woman — it is not known who Update: it's his mother-in-law — was rushed to hospital on "advanced life support" after a 911 call at 2.36am. More » -
#skinflick
Michael Bay's Victoria's Secret Ad, as Subtle as a Raging Teenage Boner
Boobs! Cars! Explosions! Knife play! Freed from the shackles of overbearing mass-market necessities like "plot," Bay indulges the very poetry of his soul in this ad for expensive panties. Watch it, then read an exclusive transcript of his internal monologue. More » -
#blinditems
Which Singer Got out of Scientology Alive?
Not only did she leave, but she's on a YouTube crusade against them. Better than wasting her time telling the same drug-fueled joke over and over or having a messy affair. Those two celebs joined the cult of no personality. More » -
#wiigingout
A Salute to Every Hilarious Kristen Wiig Character — Except Gilly
Kristen Wiig is a comic genius. So our hearts went pitter-patter when we learned she was getting an entire Saturday Night Live primetime Christmas special. But then: of course the NBC suits picked her most annoying, only unfunny character.
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#scandal
The Tiger Woods Saga: A Definitive Timeline
His car accident was revealed as a marital fight; then his philandering was exposed as serial, then as breathtakingly systematic. Now, with his mother-in-law hospitalized and his wife humiliated, Tiger Woods faces real family tragedy. How'd he get here?
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#media
The New York Times Buyout List (Updated)
Today was the deadline for New York Times staffers to take the buyout package that was offered to everyone in October, as the paper seeks to cut 100 newsroom positions this year. The names we know, below. [UPDATED].
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#gossiproundup
Lady Gaga Meets the Queen of England
Angelina's secret second family: seven Muslim children, and a wife. Lady Gaga spawns jokes about old queens, Suri Cruise goes glam like never before, Tiger Woods' wife buys a mansion in Sweden. Tuesday gossip keeps coming back for more. More » -
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#operationlovetap
The Tiger Woods Mistress Dossier (Updated)
Wow. A fourth mistress: out of the woodwork, claiming to have slept with Tiger Woods. The number of opportunities to make bad golf jokes is extraordinary. Let's try to resist the temptation as we count up Tiger's many strokes. More »
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#heroes
Who is the Hero Who Threw Tomatoes at Sarah Palin?
Currently, Jeremy Paul Olson languishes in a Minnesota jail for the crime of throwing tomatoes at Sarah Palin today. Although he missed Palin's face, Jeremy struck a chord strung through the center of our heart: Who are you, brave tomato-thrower? More » -
#polls
Outrage-Off, Tiger Woods Edition: Rush Limbaugh vs. Eugene Robinson
As if a Muslim president wasn't bad enough, now we have a Cablinasian golfer trying steal the white man's women. It's outrageous. The only solution is outrageously stupid pundit statements. Today: Rush Limbaugh vs. Eugene Robinson. Vote below! More » -
#foodfight
In Defense of Throwing Tomatoes at Sarah Palin
Since we opened up that can of stewed pears by praising the guy who threw tomatoes at Sarah Palin, we figured it's a good time to explain why it was cool that he did that. In other words: Food fight! More » -
#synchronicity
Fat People Can't Get Jobs, and Unemployed People Can't Get Thin
Last week, we highlighted a scary county-by-county map that a commenter posted to #tips showing metastasizing unemployment growth. Today, it occurred to us that we'd seen a graphic like that somewhere before: A CDC map of obesity by county. More » -
#recaps
Jersey Shore: A Field Study
Jersey Shore is like opening a tiny present to find it is full of diamonds, but diamonds made of booze, puke, fights, diseases, and discarded thongs. You thought this gift couldn't get better, but it does. It really, really does. More » -
#secrets
The Gawker Guide to Getting Past Airport Security This Holiday Travel Season
Christmas is coming, so it won't be long before you're walking barefoot through spilled soda and children's vomit at a security checkpoint in some godforsaken airport. Fortunately, the TSA has leaked a sensitive document explaining how to avoid all that.
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#shutupcollege
Staff Tension at Harvard Newspaper Explodes into Epic, Graphic Scorched-Earth Email
A group of disgruntled staffers at heralded Harvard rag The Crimson said good-bye to the outgoing leadership with a group email that includes the phrases "epically unpopular," "forever-flaccid penis," and "group-fisting." More » -
#project
The Laziest Journalists on Twitter
Reporters everywhere are in love with "crowdsourcing," in which sources magically come to them, saving the reporters several backbreaking telephone calls. But some correspondents have gotten embarrassingly addicted to this journalistic crack cocaine. And it's time for a intervention.
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#powerrankings
Gossip Girl: Bonfire of the Banalities
There is cheap stunt cheaper than putting a lead character in automotive peril. It's so cheap it makes Serena's wardrobe look wholesome. Why, oh, why can't she die in a car wreck? Teasing us makes us powerless. More » -
#holidaygiftguide
When Santa Gives You a Pap Smear
Ho ho ho! How can we ruin your Christmas today? I know: a public service campaign that instructs men to purchase pap smears for their special women as holiday gifts. More » -
#traveltips
How Not to Get Arrested When You're Abroad: A Foxy Knoxy-Inspired Guide
An Italian court convicted Amanda Knox for murdering her study abroad roommate; four American teens have been arrested for a roadside prank that turned near-fatal in Japan. America, it's time to stop screwing up on foreign soil. Here's how.
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