David Truscott learned an important lesson the hard way this week: rolling around naked in cow shit is perfectly fine, as long as you're doing it on your own property.
The saga begins in 2004, when Truscott was first caught on a naked roll through the cow patties at Woodbury House Farm and told not to come back. Over the years, he continued visiting the Cornwall farm, stealing poop, setting fire to tractors and sheds, masturbating, climbing into manure spreaders, and other leisurely activities, and was sent to jail in 2005, 2009, and 2011.
After the end of his latest sentence, in 2012, Truscott moved in to a hostel, where, according to his attorney, he was able to "engage in some of his bizarre behavior." Shortly thereafter, he moved to a different hostel, which apparently frowned upon nude feces-rolling. That's when the threats began.
Mr Truscott boasted of having £2,000 cash which he wanted to spend on a hitman and spoke of his admiration for revenge killer Raoul Moat.
He fantasised about kidnapping members of the Roth family, tying them to trees, dousing them with petrol and setting them alight.
It is perhaps no surprise Truscott is mentally ill. According to the Mail, he's being treated for "a type of autism," and will serve out the beginning of his sentence at a mental hospital before he's moved to prison.
Judge Phillip Wassall was unequivocal in his sentencing:
"They must have been at their wits' end that you kept coming back to their land. They are living in fear of seeing you again.
From everything I have heard and read I have not the slightest doubt you are a dangerous offender who poses a very real risk of causing serious harm.
In your case that could be anyone who owns a farm but at the moment it particularly applies to this family."