People are so mad at Robert Pattinson and Katy Perry.
Over the weekend, a couple of breathtaking millennials, John Ricotta and Tanya Mayer, tied the knot at the scenic San Ysidro Ranch hotel in Montecito, California. A relative told People magazine that the ceremony was “all-inclusive,” not in the way that a Caribbean cruise is all inclusive so you order six steaks for lunch every day for a week because you can, but all-inclusive in the way the wedding in Rachel Getting Married was inclusive when Anne Hathaway wore a sari to her sister’s wedding because she was being inclusive. According to the relative, the nuptials consisted of a “Jewish-Catholic-Hindu” ceremony intended to honor the diverse backgrounds of the couple’s parents: the Mayerses and the Soft Italian Cheese.
The relative was talking to People magazine in the first place because Robert Pattinson and Katy Perry “crashed” the Ricotta-Mayer wedding rehearsal on Sunday afternoon. (As used by People in this instance, “crashed” is a synonym for “saw, from a distance.”)
People.com published as many stories about the incident as there were stars watching the Ricotta-Mayer wedding rehearsal from a distance, which is two. In the first, a wedding guest revealed that the pair “were dressed very casually” (Katy Perry was wearing a hoodie and sunglasses) and that they did not exhibit “body language that showed they were dating.” In the second, a guest said that Perry and Pattinson “were just sitting quietly and talking." It would have been funny if they had crept down into the back row of seats and yelled "I OBJECT!" when the priest asked if anyone had any questions, but they did not.
At the end of the first installment of the Robert Pattinson and Katy Perry Watch a Stranger's Wedding Rehearsal Saga, People invited readers to identify and process their emotions by rating their reaction to it on a broad spectrum from “WOW” to angry face.
Here’s how the numbers broke down:
24 people said the story made them feel “WOW.”
92 people said the story made them feel “LOL.”
106 people said the story made them feel HEART.
23 people said the story made them feel FROWNY FACE.
126 people said the story made them feel ANGRY FACE.
Here is a pie chart representing the different feels that people felt:
Why do so many people feel angry face at the story? Is it because they cannot believe the gall of Robert Pattinson and Katy Perry watching the rehearsal of a wedding to which they were not invited? Is it because they don’t like the idea of Robert Pattinson and Katy Perry crossover fanfic? Is it because they knew Tanya and John personally, back in their college days (at Yale!), and just cannot deal with this wedding right now? Is it more likely that some of the sad face people actually felt angry face or that some of the angry face people actually felt sad face? At one point does one negative emotion blur into another? At what point does a Jewish wedding become a Hindu-Catholic wedding? How does the story make you feel?
[Image via Getty / Graph via National Center for Education Statistics Kids' Zone]