An artisanal cannibalism startup says it wants to sell meat grown from the tissue of celebrities like Kanye West and James Franco.
Bitelabs' website reads like a parody of lab-grown food businesses like the Google Burger, but the meatrepreneurs claim they're "100% serious" about biopsying famous people—including West, Franco, Jennifer Lawrence, and Ellen Degeneres—and growing salami from their cells. Thus far, none of the stars has volunteered to become charcuterie.
Motherboard reporter Brian Merchant emailed the company and found that, if Bitelabs is a joke, they're very dedicated to the bit. "Kevin" replied that Bitelabs is "100 percent serious in prompting widespread discussion about bioethics, lab-grown meats, and celebrity culture—this is very important to us. Making celebrity meat a reality from there will all depend on our ability to build a user-base."
They're also not immune to irony. "Other than highlighting bioethical issues, we are also interested in the way celebrity culture is consumed and hope that there is some kind of back-handed commentary on that," Kevin wrote.
And if you are what you eat, this is apparently what it's like to be Kanye. Or at least, a smoky Yeezy-pork blend:
The Kanye Salami will pull no punches: heavy, and boldly flavored, pure Kanye West meat will blend with rich, coarse-ground pork. Hungarian paprika and worcestershire give Kanye an underlying smokiness, spiced up with hints of jalapeno. The Kanye Salami is best paired with strong straight bourbon.
No one will blame you if you skip straight to the bourbon.