It all started two days ago when actor, philantropist, and all-around badass muthafukka Samuel L. Jackson posted a promise on Reddit to read the most upvoted 300-word monologue if the users in turn agree to donate to his Alzheimer's Association fund.

Taking Mr. Jackson up on his offer, users started flooding the thread with prospective monologues while simultaneously flooding the charity's donation page with cash.

Over the course of the next couple of days, the Reddit thread came very close to unraveling as 4chan users invaded en masse and began upvoting a familiar "Internet tough guy" monologue known as the "Navy Seal copypasta."


The 4chan raid had the effect of pushing down the highest voted monologue among Reddit users, the "alarm clock monologue" (essentially, an expletive-laden motivational speech urging the listener to "get the fuck out of bed and get something done").

As Jackson's self-imposed deadline for the winning monologue passed, concern began to spread that the entire thread will be scrapped.

But just then, when all seemed lost, OP delivered.

Saying he was "breaking the rules" to "speak from the heart," Jackson went on to inform his fans that he was quitting acting "and pursuing a life of vigilantism."

Spoiler alert: He's not.

But much like the superhero he claimed he was becoming, Jackson managed to solve the monologue dilemma by doing the right thing and picking the best monologue of all.

Better still: Another monologue reading from Jackson is expected over the weekend.