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Because Bear Stearns Traders Are Not Sufficiently Fucked

Dominatrix takes pity on Bear Stearns traders, offers discount. Also, caveat: "You see, in my experience finance guys usually want things in their asses. I do not offer anal play on demand." Of course, past performance is no guarantee of future...


Bear Stearns Forgets To Update Its Web Site

So how was your weekend? Probably not great if you work at Bear Stearns. But even with looming job cuts and a pathetic bail out from the Feds, Bear Stearns' website is still boasting about awards it won in 2007 and 2006 for BearXplorer, a client...


Zing

An editorial comment from an unknown Bear Stearns employee on the venerable securities firm's $2/share buyout by JPMorgan. [Dealbreaker]


The Giuliani/Bear Stearns anti-terror fund

Former Mayor Rudy Giuliani and bulge bracket investment bank Bear Stearns[Ed.—I'll save you the email. Bear Stearns is not bulge bracket! Is too! Is not! You work for Goldman, don't you? Shut up.] are launching an anti-terror investment...


Stoner Bear Stearns CEO Disputes Everything (That He Can Remember)

"Don't y'all listen to that crazy Wall Street Journal," Bear Stearns CEO Jimmy Cayne is running around saying all day. Actually: "Don't be distracted by the noise," is what he said. Then he said the paper was full of lies, which is unlikely! Bear...


Lunch in the Empty Belly of Bear Stearns

In which young literary man, Mergers and Acquisitions author, and former J.P. Morgan analyze-r Dana Vachon sneaks into the Bear Stearns cafeteria, where lunch costs more than a $2 share! Includes vaguely sexual details such as "'Abandon all hope,...


Once Again, Life Rewards Assholes

Bear Stearns might lay off 10,000 employees as it's subsumed by JP Morgan. But it's the Wall Street kind of layoff, where you get nine months pay and one-third of last year's bonus. Why the hell are we bloggers again? [Dealbreaker]


Anecdotes Prove Bear Stearns Savior Is A Jerk

The WSJ wraps up its three-part series on the Bear Stearns Wall Street clusterfuck today, and it is a masterpiece of financial journalism that's a lock for a Pulitzer. Uh, not that we care. In the final installment, various cutthroat maneuvers...


All My Banker Friends Are Really Concerned

Like you, I went to the New York Times homepage this morning hoping to read a charming story about Barack Obama's upbringing. Instead, I was bombarded with news that J.P. Morgan (along with the Fed) was bailing out Bear Stearns. Oh nos! And here I...


"I Work in Finance"

Radar has an excerpt of the forthcoming satirical book Damn It Feels Good to Be a Banker, which came out of the Leveraged Sell-Out blog. (Rough timing for a book like this—the market's so unpredictable.) But it is true that "Bear Stearns is...