Neel Kashkari is the intense young man tapped by the Treasury Department to lead our nation's financial bailout. The national media could paint only the most basic picture of him: a high-achieving Republican ski bum who rose quickly from Wharton to Goldman Sachs to, today, a position of national import. But guess what, friends: we have obtained Neel's 1991 senior high school yearbook page. Yes, the same page that a former teacher at Neel's school told us truly reveals his egocentric, douchebag nature. And it is epic. Rush quotes! Bush quotes! And the infamous Ferrari! Luxuriate in the awesomeness of our savior: SOME OF NEEL KASHKARI'S FAVORITE QUOTES:

A modern day warrior Mean mean stride Today's Tom Sawyer Mean mean pride.

- Rush

She was a hit machine She kept her motor clean She was the best darn woman that I ever seen.

- AC/DC

I have dedicated my life to this football team And I will do anything to help it win.

- Bernie Kosar

Iraq will not be allowed to annex Kuwait. That's not a threat. That's not a boast. That's just the way it's going to be.

-President George Bush

All the world's indeed a stage And we are merely players...

-"Rush/ Shakespeare"