A terrifying and cold-blooded demonstration took place today in Cape Cod and trust me when I tell you, this killer shark knew exactly what kind of bloody message he, or maybe she, was sending to wealthy Massachusetts residents: “I’m gonna fucking eat you.”
Because this wasn’t just a fin, slicing through the water, letting beach goers know who’s in charge (Do I have to spell it out? The sharks are in charge)—nay—this demonstration was premeditated—calculated—dare I say—evil.
Two Cape Cod beaches were forced to close Wednesday after witnesses saw an “explosion of water and blood” when a great white shark mauled a seal about 30 yards off the beach.
Beachgoers at Nauset Light in Eastham, Mass., saw the shark attack the seal at around 4 p.m. The seal was then thrown out of the water onto the beach, where it died, witnesses said.
This is just “what sharks do,” you may be saying, and you’d be totally wrong—don’t be naive, bub: Jaws mayor Larry Vaughn didn’t buy it either, and guess what, he ended up looking like a real moron too.