The favorite food of many people who enjoy the greatest sociological experiment of our time is, of course, a meatball sandwich. We love when Snooki and Deena get together, even if what they're doing is stupid, immature, and somewhat immoral.

The trouble with the meatballs is that they're trouble. And they're especially trouble for Bossman Danny, the guy who runs the Shore Store. He just can't ever get them to actually work. But before we can get to all that, let us take a look at the guido's unique vocabulary, so we will know just what they're discussing when they're on their permanent coffee break.

• Arkansas: A place where there is never sunlight. Guidos know that their kind really only live in a certain region of the United States. Since their diaspora never reached Arkansas, a myth developed that there is no sun there. Not only is this a comment on their lack of a guido population, but due to the necessity for UV rays to maintain their dark complexion, it also keeps the guidos at bay.
• Demons: A man's seminal fluid. It appears that the guido male feels the need to copulate so much because a build up of semen in the body is like being poisoned. This probably has something to do with the extreme measures a guido will go to in order to get laid when he hasn't gotten off in awhile. For the animal to remain calm, it must release often.
• Smash and Dash: To sleep with a woman once and never sleep with her again. While this is something the males promote toward each other, it is something that they wouldn't talk to a woman about. This is evidenced by the way The Situation's brother treats Deena's sister.

The problem with the meatballs at work is the same problem we've seen repeated again and again during this latest phase of our experiment. The cameras aren't recording the entirety of their experience. What the cameras won't show is that these people are actually rich and famous but they are forced to live in a foreign environment where they have to hold down a job, nominally so that they can maintain their position in the house which is what their real job is—the be observed for our edification and entertainment.

Snooki and Deena, because they don't really need the job, have no respect for it whatsoever. When they don't feel like working, they just take off. Bossman Danny, however, needs our guidos in his shop because he needs free labor and their star power to attract costumers and keep his business booming. That is why he is forever chasing after them. I have a feeling that he doesn't even really need them to do much than just stand around the store, but even that is too much for the twin terrors.

Instead, they play the strange "follow game" and follow each other right out of work and into the bar. After Danny retrieves them, they leave again to go dance with a bachelorette, which, if you've ever done it, is more taxing that even the grossest of manual labor.