Sorority Song Trashes "Boring Chodes," "Poser Cunts" in Other Chapters

If there's anything to be learned from last year's "most deranged sorority girl email ever," it's that the internal communications of sororities are endlessly charming, fascinating, and full of the word "cunt." The Louisiana State University chapter of Tri Delta has proven that once again this week with a leaked parody song trashing the "fucking lards" and "poser cunts" in every other sorority on campus

The words to the song, apparently meant to be sung to the tune of Katy Perry's "Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)," have been circulating through the bro internet since they were leaked this week on LSU message board Tiger Droppings and frat news site Total Frat Move. TFM reports that Tri-Delt has already "delivered a tearful apology to all LSU sororities at their new member meeting."

Here are the full lyrics:

FINAL SENIOR SONG YEAH

Running up and down the row,
Our heads turning as we go,
Look there’s fucking Alpha Phi,
WHO THE FUCK IS ALPHA PHI?
They don’t even have a house,
Desperation all throughout,
We welcome y’all to our row,
That’s because we know y’all blow.

Here comes Chi-O-O God,
those Bor-ing chodes
They su-uck.
Oh well
Every bod-y knows
Hoot and hollar blows, It’s NO
blind tie.

Last Boys Bid Night
Yeah, we saw those DZ sluts,
They were sucking KA’s nuts
Probably took it in the butt

Last Boys Bid night
Pi Phi smoked a ton of blunts,
What a bunch of poser cunts,
Dressed in tie dye, what the fuck?

Last Boys Bid night
Theta maxed out all their cards
Eating Pluckers by the bars
There they are, those fucking lards.

Last Boys Bid night
Zeta no-ones changed their name
Now we call them ZTA
Oh-oh-oh? (SNAP SNAP)

This Boys Bid night
Do it all again
This Boys Bid night
Do it all again

Stepping up y’alls kappa game
Even though your skit is lame
Got a lazy pledge class
Who only smokes a bunch of grass
Young and foolish, yah okay
Put your hipster act away
When comes rush, your chapter bails.
That was such a fucking fail.

Pretty Girls, Yeah Right
You’re all Her-maph-ro-dites
Phi Whoooo
Oh well
With your lions’ fur.
But we’re pretty sure YOU’RE IRRELEVANT
Damn

Last Boys bid night
Delta Gamma didn’t go
Cause they’re used to hearing no
Kiss your anchor, fucking GO.

Last Boys bid night
Kappa Delta you’re all cray
Know y’all like it when boys spray
when comes Sunday y’all all pray

Last Boys Bid night
KDs getting DUIs
Spreading all those fucking lies
Yeah we know how hard y’all try

Last Boys Bid night
Y’all said we danced on table tops
Will y’all ever fucking stop?
Y’all will never be on top

This Boys Bid night
Do it all again
(Do it all again)
This Boys Bid night
Do it all again
(Do it all again)
This Boys Bid night

F.U.C.KD.
F.U.C.KD.
F.U.C.KD.
F.U.C.KD.
F.U.C.KD.
F.U.C.KD.

The obvious parallel is to Rebecca Martinson's infamous "cunt punt" email, written while she was a member of Delta Gamma at the University of Maryland. In a fortuitous turn of events, Martinson now writes for BroBible, which means we get to read her assessment of this new generation of cunt punters.

How'd they do? "Rhymes pretty well," possibly "the next Weird Al," and "literally shits on every sorority."

That's high praise coming from the undisputed master of the unhinged-sorority-communiqué form.

[H/T BroBible]