SUPER-WORLD EXCLUSIVE!!! (A Hierarchy of MediaTakeout Exclusives)

Fred Mwangaguhunga, the proprietor of gossip website and chamber of all-caps hyperbole MediaTakeOut, has been making the media rounds lately. To honor the occasion, we decided to assemble an exhaustive hierarchy (from least to most exclusive, roughly) of his creation’s daily EXCLUSIVE!!! reports, which often turn out to be completely wrong. Enjoy.

EXCLUSIVE

WORLD EXCLUSIVE

SUPER WORLD EXCLUSIVE

SUPER-WORLD EXCLUSIVE

SUPER WORLD EXCLUSIVE!!!

SUPER-WORLD-EXCLUSIVE!!!

SUPER WORLD-EXCLUSIVE!!!

SUPER WORLDWIDE EXCLUSIVE

WORLD SUPER EXCLUSIVE

WORLD SUPER MEGA EXCLUSIVE

SUPER-SUPER-MEGA-EXCLUSIVE

WORDLWIDE [sic] MEGA-EXCLUSIVE

SUPER EXTRA WORLD EXCLUSIVE

SUPER DUPER WORLD EXCLUSIVE

SUPER-MEGA-WORLD EXCLUSIVE!!!

SUPER SHOCK WORLD EXCLUSIVE

SUPER DUPER MEGA WORLD EXCLUSIVE

SUPER-WORLD EXCLUSIVE SHOCK REPORT!!!

[Image via MediaTakeout’s now-corrected report that North West would be named “Kaidence Donda”]