Was anyone even surprised when Kristen Stewart showed up to last night's Oscars ceremony hobbling on crutches, looking disheveled as all get out? Bedraggled disarray is just her natural state. Of course Charlize Theron wore Dior. Of course Kristen Stewart's arms were covered in mysterious bruises.

Unless they get invited to a coronation or a really fancy funeral, the Oscars are the dressiest event most stars will ever attend. Whose beautiful gown will prompt Ryan Seacrest to shed his first, genuine tear? Who will wear pink even though they are a redhead? Who will forget the name of the lowly tailor who spun…