Suspect High on LSD Tells Cops He's Jack Bauer
A Seattle man tripping on LSD went down as the world's weirdest burglar this weekend after he unleashed his hallucinations on an unsuspecting neighbors' apartment.
Watch out for that cougar! Fox is trying to reboot the 24 franchise with a "limited series" of 13 episodes. The timing is perfect - both Keifer Sutherland and Elisha Cuthbert's series were canceled this week.
History Channel Thankfully Shelves The Kennedys
The History Channel has decided to cancel its 8-part miniseries The Kennedys, starring Katie Holmes, because the "dramatic interpretation is not a fit" for the channel. Good! The show was developed by the guy behind right-wing torture fetish show 24.
A Sad End for 24 and Law & Order
The finale of Law & Order drew 7.6 million viewers last night, which is only about 500K viewers more than average. 24's finale attracted 8.9 million viewers, which was fewer people than the week before. Guess that's why they're canceled?
Gawker.TV: The Five Best Videos Ever of the Day
Today at Gawker.TV, Russell Brand discusses Venus Williams' behind, Real Housewives' Teresa goes through labor on her cell phone, and we say farewell to 24 for good and How I Met Your Mother and Chuck until next fall.
24 Series Finale: Chloe Shuts it Down
After eight seasons, 24 has reached its end. In the last two minutes of the series finale Jack tells Chloe that he's fleeing the country, Chloe promises to protect his family and then, in Liz Lemon fashion, she shuts it down.
M.I.A. Is Anxious to Join the Controversial Video Hall of Fame
The almost-nine-minute mini-movie for M.I.A.'s single "Born Free" came out today and it's already been taken down from YouTube in the U.S. It's definitely NSFW, but it's also her latest attempt to drum up some attention.
Jack Bauer is Equitable, Beats Up Ladies Too
Lest you think that Jack Bauer is some kind of sexist, going around torturing only male terrorists to get vital intel, here's some proof to the contrary. Bonus: Freddie Prinze Jr. encouraging Chloe to let Jack do his thing.
What Should Jack Bauer Do Now that '24' Has Been Canceled?
Between the hours of 5 and 6PM on the eighth day of his anti-terror torture spree, pretend CIA Agent Jack Bauer will be ordered to stand down from your TV set. What should he do next?
Taylor Lautner Can Buy and Sell Your Ass
It's true, he's very rich. Also today: A romantic comedy duo for the ages, a softer approach from a 24 man, Nickelodeon has deep pockets, and The Hobbit begins its journey!
Hey, Network TV: If You Can't Say Anything Nice About the Internet, Stop Making Episodes About Bloggers
This is not about Ben! Ben Smith is the most tolerable person at The Politico. He works very hard, and he deserves to have people on TV mention his name as if it is no big thing. It is about how the internet has been around for almost 100 internet-years now, and TV is still scared of it and stupid about it.
Hulu Taggers Announce Artistic Poverty of Recent 24 Episode
Tag-related Hulu humor, will it ever cease to be amusing? No. Never. Kiefer Sutherland's TV show of stress, yelling, and enhanced interrogation techniques gets a thumbs down. [via ThePriceofEggsinMalta]
Katherine Heigl Rescues Film from Reese Witherspoon's Shriveled Grasp
It's Blonde on Blonde as Katherine Heigl revives an abandoned Reese Witherspoon project. Rachel Weisz is in a spooky murder film. Howard Stern really is in talks to judge American Idol. God help us all, it's the Trade Roundup.
Jack Bauer Interrogates a Bloodied-Up Santa Claus
In this never-aired, extended secret scene from 24, Jack Bauer interrogates the most jolly terrorist of them all: Santa.
• Sarah Palin's memoir is officially No. 1 on the US bestseller list, alas. [NYT]
• A Swiss court has granted bail to director Roman Polanski. [Times UK]
• Oprah will sit down with the president as part of a Christmas special. [THR]
• All that drama at the AMAs is boosting sales of Glambert's new album. [LAT]
•…
'24': The Clock Is Ticking
Kiefer Sutherland's headbutt of Jack McCollough may have far-reaching consequences, and not just because Kiefer will probably face assault charges in connection with the incident. The eighth season of 24 is set to begin taping any day now, but if Sutherland has to do time behind bars, that may totally mess up the…
Kiefer Sutherland's Nightmare Scenario Unfolding
Kiefer Sutherland's going to surrender to New York police to answer an assault complaint after head-butting a designer at SubMercer the other night. This could end in torture for Sutherland's show, 24. Such delightful turnabout!
Janeane Garofalo's Weak Snub of Rush Limbaugh and Lynne Cheney
Is it awkward being an outspoken liberal actress on 24, the show so obscenely and corrosively torture-happy that the dean of West Point said its brutal fantasies were poisoning the minds of young soldiers?
The Following Takes Place Between 4pm Tequila Shots and 5 O'Clock Shadows:
What do you get Kiefer Sutherland for his birthday? Apparently, not a transvestite stripper—the National Enquirer says he's already had one of those.
Golden Globes Ceremony The Lowest-Rated Since 1996
Ratings: Tarnished Golden Globes, torturous numbers for 24 premiere. [THR]
