Gawker
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ronn torossian
Ambulance-Chasing, PR Version
Never let it be said that Ronn [sic] Torossian was not among the very first shameless D-grade flacks to post a Youtube video opining on the future of Michael Jackson's "brand" before the man's body was even cold.
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Comment by OhCandida!: Stuffed and sitting on a throne of skulls. Just like we did when I was a warlord in Myanmar. 3 Responses | Other threads
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public relations
Gays: Here's How to Avoid Pregnancy
Here is an actual press release sent yesterday to the editor of GayListDaily.com. That's GayListDaily.com. How stupid can you anticipate the following press release to be? It was sent by 5WPR, America's most inept organization of any sort. Behold: More »
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Comment by BadUncle: 5WPR should micro-refine this, and address the "Just The Tip" phenomenon. 3 Responses | Other threads
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5wpr
Any Client Is a Good Client
Hello, what is Ronn [sic] Torossian's wacky PR firm, 5WPR, doing now? They're flacking for a pyramid scheme, reportedly! That's just nice. As Ronn says, "Times such as these are no time for ego." More »
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Comment by resipsaloquacious: John Cook: Hamilton, I know the CEO of [redacted pyramid scheme], our families are easter-ing together. Not only does he have... 5 Responses | Other threads
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press releases
That Nice, Smoky Lewinsky Flavor
Your Press Release of the Day adeptly communicates the fact that fine cigars are all about taste. The taste of Monica Lewinsky's pussy, yea! More »
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Comment by Colonel Mustard: "Inside sources" is the worst part of this press release, seriously. Do they mean her fallopian tubes? 9 Responses | Other threads
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public relations
A Sexy Story About 5WPR
Ha, here is a funny little story about America's most comical PR agency, Ronn [sic] Torossian-led 5WPR. This story comes from a former 5W Vice President! It's about sex: More »
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Comment by Nice Beaver: Kevin's a pretty cool boss, but every time he gives a presentation, it has to start with his father's We... 1 Responses | Other threads
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flackery
Your Comical Ronn [sic] Torossian News Dump
Grandly coiffed activist Al Sharpton spoke today at the offices of 5WPR, the agency led by that other noted civil rights activist, Ronn [sic] Torossian. Ronn's keeping busy, but we hear his firm has issues... More »
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Comment by SultanaEleusis: I think Denton should spring enough to rent office space for Hamilton in Ronn's digs. That would be good... 2 Responses | Other threads
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ronn torossian
Douchebag Flack Files $20 Mil Douche Suit!
Hahaha: Incompetent, litigious superflack Ronn [sic] Torossian is suing a rival for $20 million for calling him a douchebag, on the internet! Hahahaha! This is my favorite story of the holiday season: More »
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Comment by SultanaEleusis: Is there a college course I can take somewhere about this guy? He seems to be at the epicenter... 1 Responses | Other threads
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public relations
Disheartening News Abounds
In the past 45 years, the percentage of US homicides solved annually has declined from 91% to just 61%. On top of that, incompetent superflack and total war advocate Ronn [sic] Torossian has published an op-ed about the importance of "earning trust." [AP, AJC]
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Comment by Snowden: Probably a function of less defendants getting railroaded. 4 Responses | Other threads
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public relations
Ronn Torossian: "I think we should kill a hundred Arabs or a thousand Arabs"
28 million swing state residents got a special gift with their newspapers recently! An hour-long DVD called Obsession: Radical Islam's War Against the West was tucked in with papers thanks to Clarion Fund, a nonprofit group established by a radical right-wing Israelis dedicated to making Americans scared of Muslims. And hah, incompetent superflack Ronn [sic] Torossian is behind it all! More »
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By PareeneComment by ADismalScience: Question: is it considered kosher to use paraphrased rememberances as attributed quotes in a headline? 7 Responses | Other threads
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Kim Brittingham
A Fat Woman's Tale Of Woe
Kim Brittingham is New York writer who is fat. (Self-described. She once, as a stunt, made a fake book cover titled "Fat is Contagious: How Sitting Next To a Fat Person Can Make YOU Fat," and rode around on buses reading it. Heh). Anyhow, she reports that she had a meeting set up with a PR firm (5WPR, natch) to discuss her being a spokesperson for Avenue , a "plus-size" women's clothing retailer. But, at the last minute, she couldn't get her foot in the door, so to speak. Take it away, Kim: More »
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Comment by effcarriebradshaw: OK, this won't be all that popular but.....I don't know...why is she so proud of being fat? She's not "plus"... 65 Responses | Other threads
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public relations
Press Release Of The Day
From 5WPR: "I want to offer you Paul Lehr Healthcare attorney and President of the Pritikin Center, the leading medical institute in the US for disease prevention for over 30 years (according to the New England Journal of Medicine and the Journal of the American Medical Association), longevity and obesity to discuss how cutting Medicare will affect the economy and drive up insurance costs." Hmm.
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Comment by FlipTurn: Bless their hearts. They're just dumber than a box of rocks over there at 5W. 1 Responses | Other threads
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roger stone
How To (Inaudible), By Roger Stone
Our intrepid correspondent was barred from covering political attack man Roger Stone's speech at the offices of the bumbling, lowbrow 5WPR, but we win, because the entire speech is now on YouTube! Please watch all four poorly lit, nearly inaudible parts and let us know what he said. Plus we now have this picture of an appropriately shady-looking Ronn [sic] Torossian hovering behind an equally shady Stone! [YouTube]
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Comment by raincoaster: I heard he was pretty damn good at "inaudible" with military men back say, ten years ago. more » | Other threads
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ronn torossian
Gawker Operative Barred From Flackery Conclave
This morning, Republican political attack hack Roger Stone traveled to the offices of 5WPR—the firm led by legendarily inept attack flack Ronn [sic] Torossian—to give a speech entitled "The World As It Really Is." (Dirty, we presume). One brave Gawker reader, Stephen Kosloff, answered our call and agreed to go cover the event. But when our operative arrived, Ronn asked him who sent him—and he gave an honest answer. That was his downfall! We pick up his tale of woe as he enters the room where the event will take place, and prepares to start his reporting: More » -
ronn torossian
Comical PR Man Has No Time For Editing Or Democracy
As soon as you see an op-ed which begins, "As the owner of one of the 25th largest public relations agencies in the U.S.," you should immediately guess that it's an opus by none other than language-challenged sock puppeteer and unapologetically incompetent superflack Ronn [sic] Torossian, head of 5WPR. "Let's begin with the basics: Bribery is unacceptable, yet for a democracy or civilized government, it is wholly abhorrent," writes Ronn. Please explain, sir! More »
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Comment by Saxon 212: Invitations to a private windowless dungeon full of adult toys at 5WPR, is that also paying for access? more » | Other threads
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ronn torossian
Succeed In Business The Incompetent Superflack Way
When we're feeling masochistic, we like to peruse the blog of incompetent superflack Ronn [sic] Torossian. It's his own forum for speaking to you, the consumer, without having to go through the filter of a biased media outlet like this one. So in the spirit of fairness and education, we're bringing you five of the 5WPR CEO's thoughts on how to become a successful entrepreneur—all in that inimitable Ronn style. At the end, we submit a bonus tip of our own! Read and learn from a self-made success story: More »
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Comment by RTandHandelscock4eva: "Succeed" in business the pathetic, snivelling, give PR a bad name way. "Spam-Technique for Brand Mystique!" more » | Other threads
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5wpr
Sad Flacks Secretly Edit Their Boss's Own Wikipedia Page
An IP address affiliated with America's most inept agency, 5WPR, was used to edit the Wikipedia entry about 5W's CEO, incompetent superflack and bad apologizer Ronn [sic] Torossian. This is the same IP address that the agency was using to leave fake blog comments, which it was busted for last week. Hey 5W, you guys think you could stop doing this stuff? It's really depressing to cover you. After the jump, a look at the major edit of Ronn's page, which is now flagged for sounding "like a news release.": More »
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Comment by SkepticOf5W: I am going to attempt to make quiz show history and ID the folks that was posted by: RTandHandelscock4eva... more » | Other threads
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5wpr
5WPR Busted For Even More Blog Fraud; Uses Apology As Slimy Sales Pitch Opportunity
At the risk of sounding earnest, there is simply no end to the incompetence and ethical failure at 5WPR, profane superflack Ronn [sic] Torossian's comically inept PR firm. FailedMessiah.com finds 11 more fraudulent, sock puppet blog comments, dating back to last month, that came from the IP address of the home computer of Juda Engelmayer, the 5WPR VP already busted for one earlier fake comment. I guess the evidence has now become overwhelming enough that Ronn himself has issued a statement—possibly the most laughable, inadequate apology-turned-sales pitch I've ever heard from a PR guy: More »
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Comment by Saxon 212: The problem over at 5WPR is that smell of cum and leather coming from the secret windowless dungeon behind Ronn... more » | Other threads
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5wpr
Scheme To Blame Intern For PR Fraud Unravels
It's not entirely surprising that the PR firm that misspelled the online signature of the guy they were trying to impersonate has now been busted for ineptly trying to blame an unidentified "intern" for everything. Bumbling disaster of a publicity shop 5WPR posted, in the name of a rabbi, fake blog comments about a sweatshoppy kosher slaughterhouse. When busted, senior vice president Juda Engelmayer blamed an unpaid 5WPR intern who he refused to name. Now, news service JTA is severely undercutting this explanation by reporting it traced one of the fake comments to Engelmayer's home (in part by matching the internet address of a comment to the internet address of an Engelmayer email). Whoops! Hard to blame interns at the office when the stuff is coming from your own pad. How are you going to explain this one, Juda? More »
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By Ryan TateComment by CannedTuna: This supposed PR firm also represents the good Pastor John Hagee, and his CUFI oragnization (Christians United For Israel). Hagee... more » | Other threads
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5wpr
5WPR Scares Holy Man With Sock Puppet, Blames Intern
Incompetent flackery factory 5WPR has admitted to the internet sock puppetry we covered yesterday—posting fake comments on a blog on behalf of a client. That client, by the way, is a kosher slaughterhouse called Agriprocessors, which has long been under fire for workplace safety and immigration law violations. 5W CEO and paragon of employee satisfaction Ronn [sic] Torossian told The Forward that an investigation is underway to determine who's responsible for the fake comments. But even though Ronn is a friend to Israel, he already has a Rabbi scared for his own safety. Shame! Incompetent shame: More »
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Comment by skahammer: @Hez: Yet another thing I can always stand to learn more about. Teach on, kewg. more » | Other threads
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5wpr
5WPR Flacks Get So Freaking Busted Impersonating People Online
We call 5WPR chief Ronn [sic] Torossian an "incompetent superflack" for a reason, people. He and his firm are not just annoying; they are actually incompetent at the practice of public relations. The latest, and sweetest evidence: 5WPR just got stone-cold busted for impersonating people (including a Rabbi!) in a blog comments section on behalf of a (soon-to-be-former, if they're smart) client. We have an email in to Ronn for comment, but this evidence makes a pretty good case that 5W is a bunch of mindless trolls: More »
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Comment by Jeremy: @uwishunu: Right, uwishunu, if that's your real name. (People, it's a joke - I know who that is). What amazes me is... more » | Other threads
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ronn torossian
Aphorisms
Hey look, there's a new interview out with entrepreneurial success story Ronn [sic] Torossian, head of 5WPR. "The person who succeeds at 5W is someone who would find their way out of a room without a window or door. And do it quickly," he says. Oddly, that makes perfect sense. [PRNewser; RonnTorossianPR.com]
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Comment by JudaEhumpsdogsandbagels: I like mine with lettuce and tomato.... my dogs and bagels that is. more » | Other threads
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5wpr
Caustic 5WPR Employee Pimps Own Wedding Out To The Media
Back in March, we wrote a long post about incompetent superflack Ronn [sic] Torossian of 5WPR calling his former HR director Melissa Weiss a "stupid cunt," and being generally disreputable. The lone defender of Ronn in that case was one of his employees, Christine Garabedian. She wrote in to say Ronn is a great boss, and called (the victim!) Weiss a "jealous" single girl, ending with, "PS Melissa I just got engaged- Now are you even more jealous of me :)." LOL! At the time, several people urged us to go after Garabedian for her meanness, but we refrained, because she seemed like a peripheral figure. Well, we tried. But now she's out there pitching her own wedding to celebrity magazines as a "great story." Poorly! Oh, this is just pure gold: More » -
ronn torossian
Ronn [sic] Torossian Is All For Free Speech
"It's not uncommon for 33-year-old Ronn Torossian, the founder of PR firm 5W Public Relations, to overhear employees talking politics when he walks into his company's cafeteria...Says Torossian, 'People have a right to express what they want, within reason.'" Reasonable: "YOU STUPID CUNT." Not reasonable: "contacting 5W clients for comment." [Entrepreneur] -
In Brief
Inca Empire, Circa 1910
A pitch to a reporter from the serially incompetent 5WPR begins: "Almost 100 years ago, before the Spanish conquest of the Andes, the Incas created an agricultural paradise." Wait, did she just leave off a "0" there? No, because the Inca empire's pinnacle came in the 15th and 16th centuries. It's just pure stupidity.
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Comment by cassandra: "And then when Quetzlcoatl showed up, he was captured by Nazis and traded to Iran for hostages to placate the... more » | Other threads
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flackery
McCain's Crazy Pastor Turns To Ronn [sic] Torossian For Counsel
So, who's the latest shady character being represented by incompetent superflack Ronn [sic] Torossian's PR firm? It's Pastor John Hagee, the John McCain-supporting zealot who's currently under fire for saying "in a late 1990s sermon that the Nazis had operated on God's behalf to chase the Jews from Europe and shepherd them to Palestine." Hagee—a strident supporter of Israel, to the point of insanity—argued that Hitler was a "hunter" sent by god to help get the Jews back to the promised land. It's a good thing that he's retained the steady hand of 5WPR to help him through this controversy: More »
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Comment by Mediahohoho: Fuck this. It takes until now to reject his endorsement, which he begged for and got back in February? What... more » | Other threads
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ashley alexandra dupre
Drunken 17-Year-Old Exonerates Girls Gone Wild
Oh, excellent, poor Joe Francis and his Girls Gone Wild franchise will now almost definitely not have to pay any damages for releasing a Hooker Gone Wild video featuring former Gov. Eliot Spitzer call girl Ashley Dupre, because he has produced a video of Dupre totally consenting to the whole thing. The video was filmed just outside a shower, logically, and Dupre looks almost definitely drunk. Also, she's only 17. More »
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By Ryan TateComment by Rooo sez BISH PLZ: I must admit confusion. Since when does drunken mumbling constitute consent? more » | Other threads
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public relations
Useful Media Relations 101
This email has been floating around for a week or so, but we're going to run it as a public service. It was first circulated by a PR guy named Peter Shankman as a classic "How Not To Pitch A Reporter" lesson. In this case, the email pitch below was sent to a hedge fund reporter. That is to say, a professional journalist who spends his days chronicling the ins and outs of the secretive high finance world. So one might have expected that a PR firm would cull its email blast list just a bit before it went to work on behalf of its "Long Island based car shop" client. But no! Pitches like this are why reporters hate PR people. CAN YOU GUESS WHICH PR AGENCY THIS CAME FROM? The full pitch (to, again, a hedge fund reporter), and the stunning reveal of the agency's identity, after the jump. More »
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Comment by joshfriedlander: Not merely misdirected, but also not very compelling. Better would be a pitch that, despite burgeoning economic woe, the rich... more » | Other threads
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spin
The Pentagon Has Ronn [sic] Torossian's Support
The New York Times' big front page investigative story on Sunday about the tight connections between ex-military "analysts" on news programs and the Pentagon's PR machine was a solid re-affirmation of most people's suspicions that they, along with much of the media at large, were all play-acting in the inevitable march to war. The piece was hugely comprehensive, but it did lack the input of one man: incompetent superflack Ronn [sic] Torossian, head of the press-friendly agency 5WPR! Luckily, Ronn has chimed in with his advice to all of you who may have been upset by the story of undercover warmongering propaganda: chill. It's all just PR 101. More »
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Comment by famousauthor: @fairplay310: A liar AND a moron? That's heavy. I think at last count that the office consists of just Ronn... more » | Other threads
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5wpr
Fun PR Firm Seeks Fun Employee For Fun Times
Employment opportunity: 5WPR is looking for an HR director! I wonder if that's because incompetent superflack and 5W CEO Ronn [sic] Torossian fired his last HR director, filed a lawsuit against her, called her a "STUPID CUNT," and scared off potential clients? Well it could be anything, really. Good HR directors are hard to find! The full job ad is below, so apply right now. More »
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Comment by meechybee: I would insist that "Stupid Cunt" be added to the title on my door. But that's just me. more » | Other threads
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5wpr
Learn Conflict Resolution With Ronn [sic] Torossian
Incompetent and angry superflack Ronn [sic] Torossian and his agency, 5WPR, are all about creating powerful connections among the real movers and shakers in New York. So if you're a client or "FRIEND OF THE FIRM"—and if you are, you have some serious self-examination to do—you're invited to a special 5WPR Speaker Series event featuring Dr. Keith Ablow, succinctly described on his website as a "Forensic psychiatrist and author of thrillers." His topic for the evening? "Friction in the workplace and the necessity for conflict/resolution and chemistry building." What better subject for a night with Ronn, a man popular with employees, potential clients, the media, and feminists alike? Anyone lucky enough to attend this ironic event, please send us a report. The full—and predictably ineloquent—invitation is below. More »
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Comment by famousauthor: I knew if there were a "kinder gentler Dr. Phil." then he would be a Fox News contributor. ... more » | Other threads
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In Brief
Career Counseling
"The number of resumes from media folks seeking to transition to PR in recent months has been nothing short of shocking to me. Simply a tremendous amount of resumes floating around this way (particularly among TV folks)."—5WPR CEO Ronn [sic] Torossian, on his blog yesterday. Questionable decision-making skills, media folks!
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Comment by SkepticOf5W: Isn't it IRONNNNN[SIC]ic that Ronnnni-boy's blog is closed to free-posting comments? Whatssamatta Ronn? You afraid people will make more typos... more » | Other threads
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correspondence
5WPR Argues Its Case
On Wednesday night, I had a meeting with Juda Engelmayer and Adam Handelsman, two top executives at Ronn Torossian's 5WPR, to hear them out. The meeting could accurately be described as "strained, but civil." I told Handelsman—who sold his own firm to 5W in 2004, and is now a partner in the agency—to send me a letter outlining his objections to our coverage of Ronn and 5W, and we would run it. His email came last night, and it is reproduced in its entirety below. More »
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Comment by You Suck: Adam, what's a "complete and utter lie" is that you say employees have never been docked pay for hours that... more » | Other threads
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In Brief
Awesome Damage Control, Ronn
5WPR CEO Ronn Torossian has forwarded us an email from Doug Imbruce, CEO of theU and CollegeOTR—the company that decided not to hire 5W previously, as reported in our last item. Click through to read Imbruce's entire email to 5W, in which he apologizes for the headache and objects to our characterization of their relationship. Though minutes later, Imbruce emailed us to add: "But, for the record: We are not hiring 5WPR as a direct result of the behavior of their CEO, and I am shocked he forwarded that email to you prior to me reaching out." More »
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Comment by azi: @Kristin Spitzer: I just want to say hi and welcome to fueling the fires for what is sure to be... more » | Other threads
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5wpr
Former Potential Client Now Finds Ronn [sic] Torossian "Nauseating"
We received a lovely email last night from Stephanie Burton, the editor-in-chief of CollegeOTR, a college blog network. Burton tells us that she and her boss were looking for a PR firm to get them some visibility, and someone referred them to 5WPR, helmed by incompetent superflack Ronn [sic] Torossian. When they asked the agency about Ronn's bad press, "They brushed off our concerns about Ronn's reputation and blamed "jilted" news reporters for the bad press," she writes. [An interesting formulation: reporters who dislike 5W for legitimate reasons are "jilted!"] CollegeOTR eventually decided not to hire Ronn and 5W. And now, after learning more about his "Cunt" related history (summed up here)," she says, "The fact that we even considered working with him is more than slightly nauseating." That's edumacational! And after the jump, Ronn speaks out (and gets spoken about)! More »
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Comment by fairplay310: @Kristin Spitzer: If I am correct nobody heard or has seen an apology for using the c word. Anyone who... more » | Other threads
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5wpr
Joe Francis Entrusts His Reputation To Professionals
Softcore porn king and "Girls Gone Wild" founder Joe Francis was set free today after spending the past year in a Nevada jail. He pleaded no contest to charges of filming naked underage girls, and was let off with time served . Who is he turning to to rehabilitate his shattered image during this critical period? None other than woman-cursing flack Ronn [sic] Torossian's 5WPR, home to more than a few disgruntled ex-staffers. Francis worked with 5W before, and I guess the whole "women as stupid cunts" angle does fit in with his normal M.O. Rock on! [TMZ] UPDATE: And here is Ronn's perfectly tone deaf quote to the media about Francis: More »
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Comment by famousauthor: Ronn can hook him up with his other client, Sunday-morning creep Pastor John Hagee, and all will be forgiven in... more » | Other threads
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5wpr
Ronn [sic] Torossian And His Happy Employees
Incompetent superflack Ronn [sic] Torossian is a busy man. When he's not suing his former employees (another one, yesterday!) or calling one of those employees a "STUPID CUNT," he has to run his firm, 5WPR. So what is life at 5W like? Judging from the tips we've gotten from former employees, we'd describe it as: Shouty and unhappy, with a mild chance of being embarrassed by a stripper. More »
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Comment by prego: Maybe Ronn ( sic) should represent Spitzer..they have SO much in common. They both love that C word!! more » | Other threads
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exclusive
The Story Of Ronn Torossian
When Ronn [sic] Torossian, the incompetent superflack and 5WPR CEO who reps characters ranging from softcore porn king Joe Francis to nutty televangelist Benny Hinn Ministries, sued his former HR director Melissa Weiss last week, he was using a classic PR tactic: getting out ahead of the story. Ronn alleged in his suit that Weiss helped an employee leave 5W, thereby violating her contract. But Weiss has her own side of the story: that she was fired because she protested extensive, ongoing labor violations at 5WPR. What we know—because we have the evidence—is that on Friday, Ronn sent Weiss an email threatening, "You will pay for the rest of your life for trying to ruin my business." The subject line read, "YOU STUPID CUNT."
More »
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Comment by famousauthor: I am just absolutely swept away by the massive outpouring of pro-Ronn remarks in the past week since I posted... more » | Other threads
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In Brief
About Ronn Torossian...
A quick note regarding incompetent superflack Ronn Torossian's lawsuit against his HR director: There's much more to the story, including a fully separate set of allegations from the HR director against Ronn and 5WPR. We are assembling the details for a full report. As always, if you have further information on Ronn, 5WPR, or his tiff with his HR director, Melissa Weiss, please email us.
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Comment by famousauthor: @famousauthor: I mean, "Did he change his name to sound more Armenian?" more » | Other threads
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exclusive
Ronn [sic] Torossian Is Suing His Former HR Director For Helping People Leave His Firm
5WPR CEO and shouty flack Ronn [sic] Torossian has filed a lawsuit against Melissa Weiss, his recently departed HR director, for helping a 5WPR employee look for another job. Let's make this clear: While Weiss was in charge of 5W's human resources department, the suit alleges that she was simultaneously helping a 5W account executive look for a job with another firm. The evidence consists of several emails between her and the other (now former) 5W employee, Maureen Lynch. Lynch tells us the suit is "a complete lie" and that the emails are unrelated. We have a call in to Weiss' attorney. On one hand, it's understandable that Ronn wouldn't want HIS OWN HR DIRECTOR—who was hired just last month—steering employees towards the competition. On the other hand, what would it say about life at 5W if that actually happened? From a PR standpoint, it may have been wiser to keep this quiet. Oh well! Ronn is seeking $360,000 in damages on each of three counts in the suit. After the jump, the smoking gun (?) emails that make up the evidence. More »
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Comment by buzzboy: NYCRockStar I think I actually might know who you are! Any chance you got duped into getting hired at 5WPR... more » | Other threads
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ronn torossian
Job Opportunity
5WPR, the agency led by Ronn [sic] Torossian, is looking for an executive assistant. The ad specifies that "Candidates must be fluent in English and well-spoken." Because their boss sure won't be! Hi-yo! [Craigslist]
5wpr
New York, 8:19 AM
Fri Jul 10
45 posts in the last 24 hours
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