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ronn torossian
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ronn torossian
advice
Succeed In Business The Incompetent Superflack Way
When we're feeling masochistic, we like to peruse the blog of incompetent superflack Ronn [sic] Torossian. It's his own forum for speaking to you, the consumer, without having to go through the filter of a biased media outlet like this one. So in the spirit of fairness and education, we're bringing you five of the 5WPR CEO's thoughts on how to become a successful entrepreneur—all in that inimitable Ronn style. At the end, we submit a bonus tip of our own! Read and learn from a self-made success story: More »
5wpr
Sad Flacks Secretly Edit Their Boss's Own Wikipedia Page
An IP address affiliated with America's most inept agency, 5WPR, was used to edit the Wikipedia entry about 5W's CEO, incompetent superflack and bad apologizer Ronn [sic] Torossian. This is the same IP address that the agency was using to leave fake blog comments, which it was busted for last week. Hey 5W, you guys think you could stop doing this stuff? It's really depressing to cover you. After the jump, a look at the major edit of Ronn's page, which is now flagged for sounding "like a news release.": More »
god, it's just too much
5WPR Busted For Even More Blog Fraud; Uses Apology As Slimy Sales Pitch Opportunity
At the risk of sounding earnest, there is simply no end to the incompetence and ethical failure at 5WPR, profane superflack Ronn [sic] Torossian's comically inept PR firm. FailedMessiah.com finds 11 more fraudulent, sock puppet blog comments, dating back to last month, that came from the IP address of the home computer of Juda Engelmayer, the 5WPR VP already busted for one earlier fake comment. I guess the evidence has now become overwhelming enough that Ronn himself has issued a statement—possibly the most laughable, inadequate apology-turned-sales pitch I've ever heard from a PR guy: More »
Public relations
Scheme To Blame Intern For PR Fraud Unravels
It's not entirely surprising that the PR firm that misspelled the online signature of the guy they were trying to impersonate has now been busted for ineptly trying to blame an unidentified "intern" for everything. Bumbling disaster of a publicity shop 5WPR posted, in the name of a rabbi, fake blog comments about a sweatshoppy kosher slaughterhouse. When busted, senior vice president Juda Engelmayer blamed an unpaid 5WPR intern who he refused to name. Now, news service JTA is severely undercutting this explanation by reporting it traced one of the fake comments to Engelmayer's home (in part by matching the internet address of a comment to the internet address of an Engelmayer email). Whoops! Hard to blame interns at the office when the stuff is coming from your own pad. How are you going to explain this one, Juda? More »
Public relations
5WPR Scares Holy Man With Sock Puppet, Blames Intern
Incompetent flackery factory 5WPR has admitted to the internet sock puppetry we covered yesterday—posting fake comments on a blog on behalf of a client. That client, by the way, is a kosher slaughterhouse called Agriprocessors, which has long been under fire for workplace safety and immigration law violations. 5W CEO and paragon of employee satisfaction Ronn [sic] Torossian told The Forward that an investigation is underway to determine who's responsible for the fake comments. But even though Ronn is a friend to Israel, he already has a Rabbi scared for his own safety. Shame! Incompetent shame: More »
flackery
5WPR Flacks Get So Freaking Busted Impersonating People Online
We call 5WPR chief Ronn [sic] Torossian an "incompetent superflack" for a reason, people. He and his firm are not just annoying; they are actually incompetent at the practice of public relations. The latest, and sweetest evidence: 5WPR just got stone-cold busted for impersonating people (including a Rabbi!) in a blog comments section on behalf of a (soon-to-be-former, if they're smart) client. We have an email in to Ronn for comment, but this evidence makes a pretty good case that 5W is a bunch of mindless trolls: More »
Aphorisms
Hey look, there's a new interview out with entrepreneurial success story Ronn [sic] Torossian, head of 5WPR. "The person who succeeds at 5W is someone who would find their way out of a room without a window or door. And do it quickly," he says. Oddly, that makes perfect sense. [PRNewser; RonnTorossianPR.com]
god, it's just too much
Caustic 5WPR Employee Pimps Own Wedding Out To The Media
Back in March, we wrote a long post about incompetent superflack Ronn [sic] Torossian of 5WPR calling his former HR director Melissa Weiss a "stupid cunt," and being generally disreputable. The lone defender of Ronn in that case was one of his employees, Christine Garabedian. She wrote in to say Ronn is a great boss, and called (the victim!) Weiss a "jealous" single girl, ending with, "PS Melissa I just got engaged- Now are you even more jealous of me :)." LOL! At the time, several people urged us to go after Garabedian for her meanness, but we refrained, because she seemed like a peripheral figure. Well, we tried. But now she's out there pitching her own wedding to celebrity magazines as a "great story." Poorly! Oh, this is just pure gold: More »
Ronn [sic] Torossian Is All For Free Speech
"It's not uncommon for 33-year-old Ronn Torossian, the founder of PR firm 5W Public Relations, to overhear employees talking politics when he walks into his company's cafeteria...Says Torossian, 'People have a right to express what they want, within reason.'" Reasonable: "YOU STUPID CUNT." Not reasonable: "contacting 5W clients for comment." [Entrepreneur]
"It's not uncommon for 33-year-old Ronn Torossian, the founder of PR firm 5W Public Relations, to overhear employees talking politics when he walks into his company's cafeteria...Says Torossian, 'People have a right to express what they want, within reason.'" Reasonable: "YOU STUPID CUNT." Not reasonable: "contacting 5W clients for comment." [Entrepreneur]
Inca Empire, Circa 1910
A pitch to a reporter from the serially incompetent 5WPR begins: "Almost 100 years ago, before the Spanish conquest of the Andes, the Incas created an agricultural paradise." Wait, did she just leave off a "0" there? No, because the Inca empire's pinnacle came in the 15th and 16th centuries. It's just pure stupidity.
flackery
McCain's Crazy Pastor Turns To Ronn [sic] Torossian For Counsel
So, who's the latest shady character being represented by incompetent superflack Ronn [sic] Torossian's PR firm? It's Pastor John Hagee, the John McCain-supporting zealot who's currently under fire for saying "in a late 1990s sermon that the Nazis had operated on God's behalf to chase the Jews from Europe and shepherd them to Palestine." Hagee—a strident supporter of Israel, to the point of insanity—argued that Hitler was a "hunter" sent by god to help get the Jews back to the promised land. It's a good thing that he's retained the steady hand of 5WPR to help him through this controversy: More »
ashley alexandra dupre
Drunken 17-Year-Old Exonerates Girls Gone Wild
Oh, excellent, poor Joe Francis and his Girls Gone Wild franchise will now almost definitely not have to pay any damages for releasing a Hooker Gone Wild video featuring former Gov. Eliot Spitzer call girl Ashley Dupre, because he has produced a video of Dupre totally consenting to the whole thing. The video was filmed just outside a shower, logically, and Dupre looks almost definitely drunk. Also, she's only 17. More »
public relations
Useful Media Relations 101
This email has been floating around for a week or so, but we're going to run it as a public service. It was first circulated by a PR guy named Peter Shankman as a classic "How Not To Pitch A Reporter" lesson. In this case, the email pitch below was sent to a hedge fund reporter. That is to say, a professional journalist who spends his days chronicling the ins and outs of the secretive high finance world. So one might have expected that a PR firm would cull its email blast list just a bit before it went to work on behalf of its "Long Island based car shop" client. But no! Pitches like this are why reporters hate PR people. CAN YOU GUESS WHICH PR AGENCY THIS CAME FROM? The full pitch (to, again, a hedge fund reporter), and the stunning reveal of the agency's identity, after the jump. More »
spin
The Pentagon Has Ronn [sic] Torossian's Support
The New York Times' big front page investigative story on Sunday about the tight connections between ex-military "analysts" on news programs and the Pentagon's PR machine was a solid re-affirmation of most people's suspicions that they, along with much of the media at large, were all play-acting in the inevitable march to war. The piece was hugely comprehensive, but it did lack the input of one man: incompetent superflack Ronn [sic] Torossian, head of the press-friendly agency 5WPR! Luckily, Ronn has chimed in with his advice to all of you who may have been upset by the story of undercover warmongering propaganda: chill. It's all just PR 101. More »
5wpr
Fun PR Firm Seeks Fun Employee For Fun Times
Employment opportunity: 5WPR is looking for an HR director! I wonder if that's because incompetent superflack and 5W CEO Ronn [sic] Torossian fired his last HR director, filed a lawsuit against her, called her a "STUPID CUNT," and scared off potential clients? Well it could be anything, really. Good HR directors are hard to find! The full job ad is below, so apply right now. More »
5wpr
Learn Conflict Resolution With Ronn [sic] Torossian
Incompetent and angry superflack Ronn [sic] Torossian and his agency, 5WPR, are all about creating powerful connections among the real movers and shakers in New York. So if you're a client or "FRIEND OF THE FIRM"—and if you are, you have some serious self-examination to do—you're invited to a special 5WPR Speaker Series event featuring Dr. Keith Ablow, succinctly described on his website as a "Forensic psychiatrist and author of thrillers." His topic for the evening? "Friction in the workplace and the necessity for conflict/resolution and chemistry building." What better subject for a night with Ronn, a man popular with employees, potential clients, the media, and feminists alike? Anyone lucky enough to attend this ironic event, please send us a report. The full—and predictably ineloquent—invitation is below. More »
Career Counseling
"The number of resumes from media folks seeking to transition to PR in recent months has been nothing short of shocking to me. Simply a tremendous amount of resumes floating around this way (particularly among TV folks)."—5WPR CEO Ronn [sic] Torossian, on his blog yesterday. Questionable decision-making skills, media folks!
"The number of resumes from media folks seeking to transition to PR in recent months has been nothing short of shocking to me. Simply a tremendous amount of resumes floating around this way (particularly among TV folks)."—5WPR CEO Ronn [sic] Torossian, on his blog yesterday. Questionable decision-making skills, media folks!
