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New York, 11:57 PM
Mon Nov 30
60 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #60yearslater more →

    Judge Annoints J.D. Salinger the King of the Internet

    J.D. Salinger Emerges from His Hidy-Hole to Sue Over Catcher in the Rye Rip-Off
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of CountFosco CountFosco
    07/02/09

    In reply to Judge Annoints J.D. Salinger the King of the Internet
    So this is a bad time for me to be shopping my manuscript, "Franny and Zooey and Zombies"?
     Reply
    CountFosco was starred CountFosco was unstarred
    Image of PandoraSpocks PandoraSpocks
    07/03/09

    @CountFosco: Maybe Franny, Zooey, and the Zombies from Planet Zircon?
     Reply
    PandoraSpocks was starred PandoraSpocks was unstarred
    Image of Mymoustache Mymoustache
    07/02/09

    In reply to Judge Annoints J.D. Salinger the King of the Internet
    Meh...I would rather read an update on "Flowers in the Attic"
     Reply
    Mymoustache was starred Mymoustache was unstarred
    Image of allyzay allyzay
    07/03/09

    @Mymoustache: there's an entire series of sequels to "flowers in the attic" so you can accomplish this easily and without fear of lawsuit!
     Reply
    allyzay was starred allyzay was unstarred
    Image of ithabeleng metesunyane ithabeleng metesunyane
    07/02/09

    In reply to Judge Annoints J.D. Salinger the King of the Internet
    Holden Caulfield was my first true romance.


    I always wondered what happened to him in his later years.


    Now I may never know.

     Reply
    ithabeleng metesunyane was starred ithabeleng metesunyane was unstarred
    Image of vanka-vstanka vanka-vstanka
    07/03/09

    @ithabeleng metesunyane: JD Salinger wrote other stories about Holden and his siblings. You can find them on the internet; someone typed them up from old magazines and uploaded them.
     Reply
    vanka-vstanka was starred vanka-vstanka was unstarred
    Image of Pizza!Pizza!Pizza! Pizza!Pizza!Pizza!
    07/03/09

    @ithabeleng metesunyane: He and Esther Greenwood got married and died in a horrible boating accident. I actually meant to write that as a short story in my teens. I guess I'm lucky that I didn't.
     Reply
    Pizza!Pizza!Pizza! was starred Pizza!Pizza!Pizza! was unstarred
    Image of lawyergay lawyergay
    07/02/09

    In reply to Judge Annoints J.D. Salinger the King of the Internet
    There are few characters less appealing-sounding than a 76-year-old Holden Caufield.
     Reply
    lawyergay was starred lawyergay was unstarred
    Image of blix blix
    07/02/09

    @lawyergay: OMG! Holden is the embodiment of the cranky old guy yelling at the neighborhood kids.
     Reply
    blix was starred blix was unstarred
    Image of HiredGoons HiredGoons
    07/02/09

    In reply to Judge Annoints J.D. Salinger the King of the Internet
    "obsessive-compulsive old man with a taste for teenaged girls might come after you."


    FYI Woody Allen is in Europe right now, so I'm safe.

     Reply
    HiredGoons was starred HiredGoons was unstarred
    Image of SidAndFinancy SidAndFinancy
    07/02/09

    In reply to Judge Annoints J.D. Salinger the King of the Internet
    This doesn't bode well for my novella, Seymour: An Epilogue.
     Reply
    SidAndFinancy was starred SidAndFinancy was unstarred
    Image of depardoo depardoo
    07/02/09

    In reply to Judge Annoints J.D. Salinger the King of the Internet
    Colting remarked that the judge held his motion as if it were a turd.
     Reply
    depardoo was starred depardoo was unstarred
    Image of Pareene Pareene
    07/02/09

    In reply to Judge Annoints J.D. Salinger the King of the Internet
    But when will J.D. sue Michiko Kakutani
     Reply
    Pareene was starred Pareene was unstarred
    Image of Pareene Pareene
    07/02/09

    @Pareene: (no one else has made that joke yet, RIGHT??)
     Reply
    Pareene was starred Pareene was unstarred
    Image of chazified chazified
    06/02/09

    In reply to J.D. Salinger Emerges from His Hidy-Hole to Sue Over Catcher in the Rye Rip-Off
    "Holden Caufield as a 76-year-old escapee from a retirement home wandering the streets of New York City." i am very curious at how this would read. i can almost see this being an SNL skit.
     Reply
    chazified was starred chazified was unstarred
    Image of skahammer skahammer
    06/02/09

    @chaz9205: You know, I almost hate myself for thinking this, but Catcher in the Rye is actually prime material for sequelization by another writer, since 1) Holden was basically asking for life to deliver him a gut punch or three (in a good way, I insist, but still), and 2) Salinger, that hopeless sentimentalist in ironist's garb, is absolutely not the guy to write that story.

    No idea if Mr. California is the right guy -- but I could see this idea working quite splendidly for a number of writers. Joyce Carol Oates, maybe -- I'd read that. William Monahan (screenwriter of The Departed). Maybe Jane Smiley. Someone who stands well outside his or her characters but who won't mock or torture them, and whose style wouldn't noticeably conflict with our memories of Holden's inner monologues.
     Reply
    skahammer was starred skahammer was unstarred
    Image of Lazy Susan Lazy Susan
    06/03/09

    @skahammer: Didn't John Updike do that already? You know, in his own inimitable style.
     Reply
    Lazy Susan was starred Lazy Susan was unstarred
    Image of Senor_Wences Senor_Wences
    06/02/09

    In reply to J.D. Salinger Emerges from His Hidy-Hole to Sue Over Catcher in the Rye Rip-Off
    Holden Caulfield was a snotty little prep school prick. Were he made flesh, he'd be Neal Pollack, and y'all'd be all over his ass for being so freaking annoying.
     Reply
    Senor_Wences was starred Senor_Wences was unstarred
    Image of shostakobitch shostakobitch
    06/02/09

    In reply to J.D. Salinger Emerges from His Hidy-Hole to Sue Over Catcher in the Rye Rip-Off
    JD Cal styles his hair with egg whites or something.


    I'm currently growing white-boy dreadlocks and writing books called "With the Night" "The Cheering Up of Lot 50" and "Inertia's Refraction". Let's see that old son of a bitch crawl out from under his rock long enough to get me some sweet, sweet notoriety. Yeeeehaw!

     Reply
    shostakobitch was starred shostakobitch was unstarred
    Image of skahammer skahammer
    06/02/09

    @shostakobitch: You still have to get in line behind my unauthorized sequel to Vineland, titled Yuba City.

    Zoyd misplaces his dentures one morning, cooks up a bad batch of meth, and, well...boom.

    I'm specifically writing Brock Vond to be more Schwarzenegger-like, thinking ahead to the adaptation of course.
     Reply
    skahammer was starred skahammer was unstarred
    Image of shostakobitch shostakobitch
    06/02/09

    @skahammer: Just might work . . . unless my "Vacaville" comes out first. Frenesi has attended Oaksterdam University and started a quasi-fascist marajuana dispensary that caters to the Raider Nation, but she gives it all up to shit out Lee Baca's kids in a 6 bedroom Spanish-tiled monstrosity in Diamond Bar.


    Of course all my Star Trek references are to the new hit movie version, wherein my bizarro book universe all the members of the crew are heterosexual except Leonardo Nemoyevich.

     Reply
    shostakobitch was starred shostakobitch was unstarred
    Image of skahammer skahammer
    06/02/09

    @shostakobitch: If you've also got Mucho Maas as an elderly and hallucination-haunted overnight jock broadcasting unknown musique concrete recordings for a Tijuana radio station, then I will gladly mute my posthorn in deference to you.
     Reply
    skahammer was starred skahammer was unstarred
    Image of belltolls belltolls
    06/02/09

    In reply to J.D. Salinger Emerges from His Hidy-Hole to Sue Over Catcher in the Rye Rip-Off
    John David California replied to news of the lawsuit by saying, "I'm the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life. It's awful. If I'm on my way to the store to buy a magazine, even, and somebody asks me where I'm going, I'm liable to say I'm going to the opera. It's terrible."
     Reply
    belltolls was starred belltolls was unstarred
    Image of misslinda misslinda
    06/02/09

    @belltolls: How wonderful would it be if "JD California" was really Kari Ferrell!
     Reply
    misslinda was starred misslinda was unstarred
    Image of City_Dater City_Dater
    06/02/09

    In reply to J.D. Salinger Emerges from His Hidy-Hole to Sue Over Catcher in the Rye Rip-Off
    So whoever was working on that 'reimagined' life of Seymour Glass in which he becomes an insurance adjuster in Montclair, you might as well just stop.
     Reply
    City_Dater was starred City_Dater was unstarred
    Image of Products Will Save Me Products Will Save Me
    06/02/09

    @City_Dater: Hahaha. Or the reimagining of "Uncle Wiggily in Connecticut" in which Walt never died and married life with him is just so-so. His off-beat wit grew tired once he was out of the army.
     Reply
    Products Will Save Me was starred Products Will Save Me was unstarred
    Image of Tremonius Tremonius
    06/02/09

    In reply to J.D. Salinger Emerges from His Hidy-Hole to Sue Over Catcher in the Rye Rip-Off
    Satire of Salinger reminds me of the bit in A Thousand Clowns where Nick and Murray do impressions of Alexander Hamilton and Thomas Jefferson, and they have the voices just right, according to Nick. But Uncle Leo says, this is ridiculous, nobody knows what those guys sounded like. And Nick says, that's the funny part.


    Nobody knows today what Holden Caufield means.

     Reply
    Tremonius was starred Tremonius was unstarred
    Image of jacobestes jacobestes
    06/02/09

    @Tremonius: What are you talking about?
     Reply
    jacobestes was starred jacobestes was unstarred
    Image of Tremonius Tremonius
    06/02/09

    @jacobestes: I am On Topic, for once. The equation is, the miming of the Founders out of A Thousand Clowns equals any satire of Holden Caulfield, because nobody knows from nuthin' about any of them.
     Reply
    Tremonius was starred Tremonius was unstarred
    Image of ChillbearLatrigue ChillbearLatrigue
    06/02/09

    In reply to J.D. Salinger Emerges from His Hidy-Hole to Sue Over Catcher in the Rye Rip-Off
    Am I the only one who thought that Salinger was dead? I am glad to see him alive and kicking. Hey, J.D., write something for us.
     Reply
    ChillbearLatrigue was starred ChillbearLatrigue was unstarred
    Image of misslinda misslinda
    06/02/09

    @ChillbearLatrigue: No, I would've lost that bet, too. I like the thought of him being a crotchety old man in New Hampshire.
     Reply
    misslinda was starred misslinda was unstarred
    Image of Spaceman Bill Leah Spaceman Bill Leah
    06/02/09

    @misslinda: Those are my exact retirement plans provided I can afford the second home and the sex change operation.
     Reply
    Spaceman Bill Leah was starred Spaceman Bill Leah was unstarred
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