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New York, 6:06 PM
Wed Dec 2
56 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #crime more →

    Casey Johnson Is Broke and Abandoned, According to Her Used Vibrator Victim

    Facebook Absolutely Demolishing MySpace in the Sex Offender Demographic

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of i'm a bottle i'm a bottle
    11:27 AM

    In reply to Casey Johnson Is Broke and Abandoned, According to Her Used Vibrator Victim
    These women are all kinds of crazy, but it's a frighteningly sexual, Nietzschean kind of crazy. It's like the women from a Georges Bataille story suddenly walked off the page and onto my monitor. And I'm intrigued.
     Reply
    Edited by i'm a bottle at 12/02/09 11:30 AM i'm a bottle was starred i'm a bottle was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    11:37 AM

    @i'm a bottle: Bot, I personally guarantee you that you want no truck with these broads. Women like this are:

    1) Bad in bed. They lie there like a lox and moan, and you cannot mount their bodies in hopes of any pleasure due to boneyness and a lack of muscle tone, a result of NEVER DOING ANYTHING OF VALUE ever. In the case of the model, she can barely move her pelvis, let alone her entire body, in the bed due to low energy because she never consumes calories.

    2) Functionally illiterate. Would not know a reference to Nietzsche or Bataille.

    3) Fuck-nuts crazy, as you well know, and will fuck up your life outside the bedroom. And crazy smells bad, like burnt plastic.
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of i'm a bottle i'm a bottle
    12:24 PM

    @BookishLookish: I shall take your sagacious advice under advisement.
     Reply
    i'm a bottle was starred i'm a bottle was unstarred
    Image of Mama Penguino Mama Penguino
    03:52 PM

    @BookishLookish: So true, Booky. I've heard this complaint from many of my male friends who killed themselves to bag a supermodel type and then complained about having sex with a bicycle. Sick shit, for sure.
     Reply
    Mama Penguino was starred Mama Penguino was unstarred
    Image of econdave econdave
    11:01 AM

    In reply to Casey Johnson Is Broke and Abandoned, According to Her Used Vibrator Victim
    I can't believe I've followed this story enough to know it, but Lennard says she is not Johnson's ex.

    "Lennard said she had never had sex with Johnson."

    [www.nypost.com]

    Also, best newspaper sentence ever: "Semel allegedly beat Johnson up and lit her hair on fire during a catfight at Semel's home."

    (Not that I condone domestic violence. But there's all kinds of crazy in that sentence.)
     Reply
    econdave was starred econdave was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    10:27 AM

    In reply to Casey Johnson Is Broke and Abandoned, According to Her Used Vibrator Victim
    Fuck you, Casey bleachy-haired crazy-ass baby adopter and abandoner. And fuck you, scrawny creepy model girl for going public with this sad story. And you're a liar because you couldn't care for a corned beef sandwich, let alone a baby with those creepy Auschwitz arms.
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of eastofwest eastofwest
    01:28 PM

    @BookishLookish: And this isn't body snark?
     Reply
    BookishLookish promoted this comment eastofwest was starred eastofwest was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    02:12 PM

    @eastofwest: It is body snark. The correct kind, if you can even get your mind around that. If you don't like it, you can fuck off back to Jezebel.
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of eastofwest eastofwest
    02:30 PM

    @BookishLookish: Breathe. I wasn't criticizing. I got called out for a similar comment on Jezebel and was wondering if there are different standards at each site. Looks like there are.
     Reply
    eastofwest was starred eastofwest was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    02:36 PM

    @eastofwest: OK, sorry, kid. If you hang around here enough you'll soon learn I'm a mean old bitch. But don't let Gawker or Jezebel change what you want to express, set your own standards, eastofwest. If you think an anorexic model is fucked up, just say it. This PC-cheesy bullshit everyone is still spewing? It is not useful.
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of RollsRoyceRevenge RollsRoyceRevenge
    10:19 AM

    In reply to Casey Johnson Is Broke and Abandoned, According to Her Used Vibrator Victim
    Jasmine appears to be wearing a shredded nun.
     Reply
    RollsRoyceRevenge was starred RollsRoyceRevenge was unstarred
    Image of RollsRoyceRevenge RollsRoyceRevenge
    09:59 AM

    In reply to Casey Johnson Is Broke and Abandoned, According to Her Used Vibrator Victim
    I think this was already a movie--the blonde wakes up at the end and realizes she's fucked. David Lynch, director.
     Reply
    RollsRoyceRevenge was starred RollsRoyceRevenge was unstarred
    Image of DennyCrane DennyCrane
    09:56 AM

    In reply to Casey Johnson Is Broke and Abandoned, According to Her Used Vibrator Victim
    Every time I think of Casey Johnson, I think of the part in Ghostbusters right before the arrival of Gozer, where Sigourney Weaver and Rick Moranis get turned into those dog-looking things and Bill Murray turns to Dan Ackroyd and goes, "so, she's a dog."
     Reply
    DennyCrane was starred DennyCrane was unstarred
    Image of resipsaloquacious resipsaloquacious
    09:37 AM

    In reply to Casey Johnson Is Broke and Abandoned, According to Her Used Vibrator Victim
    That'sa it! No lunch today -- I am thinspired!
     Reply
    resipsaloquacious was starred resipsaloquacious was unstarred
    Image of SidAndFinancy SidAndFinancy
    12:58 PM

    @resipsaloquacious: I was with you, until Bookish mentioned the corned beef.
     Reply
    SidAndFinancy was starred SidAndFinancy was unstarred
    Image of AzureTexan AzureTexan
    09:20 AM

    In reply to Casey Johnson Is Broke and Abandoned, According to Her Used Vibrator Victim
    It's possible, though perhaps not probable, that Johnson was using the vibrator to whisk lime juice and cornstarch in a medium heavy saucepan, knowing that cranberry-lime tarts are a delicious and popular dessert.
     Reply
    AzureTexan was starred AzureTexan was unstarred
    Image of dandles dandles
    09:43 AM

    @AzureTexan: I usually don't throw my vibrators on the bed after cooking. Then again, I probably didn't go to a famous cooking school like Courtney Lindsey Semel Johnson did, or whatever her name is.

    On a related note, please link the recipe for your cranberry-lime tarts. They sound awesome!
     Reply
    AzureTexan promoted this comment dandles was starred dandles was unstarred
    Image of AzureTexan AzureTexan
    09:55 AM

    @dandles: Will do!

    P.S. Also included in my line of I'll-have-what-she's-having desserts is my exciting new Triple Creme Tart.
     Reply
    AzureTexan was starred AzureTexan was unstarred
    Image of Z und Vielpunkt's chick Z und Vielpunkt's chick
    08:41 AM

    In reply to Casey Johnson Is Broke and Abandoned, According to Her Used Vibrator Victim
    With Heather Matarazzo as Courtenay Semel.
     Reply
    Z und Vielpunkt's chick was starred Z und Vielpunkt's chick was unstarred
    Image of drunkexpatwriter drunkexpatwriter
    08:37 AM

    In reply to Casey Johnson Is Broke and Abandoned, According to Her Used Vibrator Victim
    I'm still confused as to what sort of message you are trying to send when you leave a wet vibrator in the bed of an ex.

    Is this a come on?

    A romantic gesture?

    Some weird lesbian way of saying "fuck you?"

    What would the gay male equivalent of this be? I'm not sure a used Fleshlight would be quite the same thing.
     Reply
    drunkexpatwriter was starred drunkexpatwriter was unstarred
    Image of HowardRoarkLaughed HowardRoarkLaughed
    08:43 AM

    @drunkexpatwriter: And how did Semel recognize the underwear as being Jasmine's? Was her name on it?

    Were they at summer camp?

    Too many unanswered questions! Aghch!!!
     Reply
    drunkexpatwriter promoted this comment HowardRoarkLaughed was starred HowardRoarkLaughed was unstarred
    Image of drunkexpatwriter drunkexpatwriter
    08:48 AM

    @HowardRoarkLaughed: Yeah, I'm pretty sure I couldn't tell if a girl I was hooking up with was wearing some other girl's panties - even if I'd seen them on the other girl.

    Like, how long do you look at panties before you pull them off her?
     Reply
    drunkexpatwriter was starred drunkexpatwriter was unstarred
    Image of Z und Vielpunkt's chick Z und Vielpunkt's chick
    08:48 AM

    @HowardRoarkLaughed: How did the lesbian Don Juan recognize another lady's underwear? I have a theory.
     Reply
    Z und Vielpunkt's chick was starred Z und Vielpunkt's chick was unstarred
    Image of HowardRoarkLaughed HowardRoarkLaughed
    09:04 AM

    @Z und Vielpunkt's chick: That's a valid point.

    If I had to pick my wife's underwear out of a lineup, I'd be surprised if I got 50% correct.

    But then again, I'm a dude. It ain't the undies I'm looking at most times.
     Reply
    HowardRoarkLaughed was starred HowardRoarkLaughed was unstarred
    Image of Z und Vielpunkt's chick Z und Vielpunkt's chick
    09:19 AM

    @HowardRoarkLaughed: Yeah, lesbians are women first. We notice the undies.
     Reply
    Z und Vielpunkt's chick was starred Z und Vielpunkt's chick was unstarred
    Image of notsofresh notsofresh
    10:11 AM

    @drunkexpatwriter: "Chicks dig me because I rarely wear underwear, and when I do it's always something unusual."

    -Bill Murray, Stripes, 1981
     Reply
    notsofresh was starred notsofresh was unstarred
    Image of braak: You are, as usual, completely correct. braak: You are, as usual, completely correct.
    10:46 AM

    @drunkexpatwriter: Well, these are all rich people, though. Their panties are gold-encrusted and made from ermine fur and diamonds, and each one is probably completely unique.
     Reply
    braak: You are, as usual, completely correct. was starred braak: You are, as usual, completely correct. was unstarred
    Image of mexiback mexiback
    01:31 PM

    @HowardRoarkLaughed: Exactly! Like, did the skeleton's mom embroidered her name on them or something?
     Reply
    mexiback was starred mexiback was unstarred
    Image of Mama Penguino Mama Penguino
    03:49 PM

    @HowardRoarkLaughed: I cannot speak for all women, but most of us have our favorite undies that are recognizable to other women with whom we are close. When I lived with two women in an apartment in college, I could absolutely tell whose underpants were whose from the pile that was removed from the dryer.
     Reply
    Mama Penguino was starred Mama Penguino was unstarred
    Image of Pope John Peeps II Pope John Peeps II
    08:28 AM

    In reply to Casey Johnson Is Broke and Abandoned, According to Her Used Vibrator Victim
    Her parents let their insane daughter buy a child, then cut her off financially? Basically ensuring that this tiny girl would, what... die?
     Reply
    Pope John Peeps II was starred Pope John Peeps II was unstarred
    Image of pollyannacowgirl pollyannacowgirl
    08:53 AM

    @Pope John Peeps II: While she was probably an adult and they technically can't stop her from "adopting", they should have used their money and power to prevent it until she found another project or obsession.

    As the grandparents of this child, I think they are obligated to step in and make her life at least as good as it was in Fuckedupstan.

    Stories like this make my blood boil.
     Reply
    Pope John Peeps II promoted this comment pollyannacowgirl was starred pollyannacowgirl was unstarred
    Image of Pope John Peeps II Pope John Peeps II
    09:06 AM

    @pollyannacowgirl: Well, they certainly can't stop this girl, but they also have some responsibility for this thing that is their new granddaughter.
     Reply
    Pope John Peeps II was starred Pope John Peeps II was unstarred
    Image of jerusalemcricket jerusalemcricket
    09:08 AM

    @Pope John Peeps II: The item mentions that Casey's mother Sale took the little girl from Casey and is caring for her. So, taking responsibility.
     Reply
    marin79 promoted this comment jerusalemcricket was starred jerusalemcricket was unstarred
    Image of RandomLunatic RandomLunatic
    08:01 AM

    In reply to Casey Johnson Is Broke and Abandoned, According to Her Used Vibrator Victim
    Man, in about 35 years or so the Casey Johnson story is gonna make Grey Gardens seem genteel.
     Reply
    RandomLunatic was starred RandomLunatic was unstarred
    Image of Mike Jahn Mike Jahn
    07:50 AM

    In reply to Casey Johnson Is Broke and Abandoned, According to Her Used Vibrator Victim
    Aw. The house on Mulholland needs a cleaning.
     Reply
    Mike Jahn was starred Mike Jahn was unstarred
    Image of 1WordUp 1WordUp
    08:21 AM

    @Mike Jahn: Maybe she'll be on "Hoarders".
     Reply
    1WordUp was starred 1WordUp was unstarred
    Image of Duck_Lips Duck_Lips
    09:25 AM

    @1WordUp: My new secret favorite show. Although I stay up cleaning until 4 a.m. after watching it.
     Reply
    Excusado promoted this comment Duck_Lips was starred Duck_Lips was unstarred
    Image of Penscribe Penscribe
    12/01/09

    In reply to Facebook Absolutely Demolishing MySpace in the Sex Offender Demographic
    If a sex offender can live on your block, I have no idea how people will lawfully keep them off social media Web sites.
     Reply
    Penscribe was starred Penscribe was unstarred
    Image of econdave econdave
    12/01/09

    In reply to Facebook Absolutely Demolishing MySpace in the Sex Offender Demographic
    Which one is Roman Polanski on? And has Whoopi Goldberg friended him?
     Reply
    econdave was starred econdave was unstarred
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