Gawker
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recessionomics
Prepare to be Outraged Again Over Wall Street Bonuses
Looks like those clever backdoor bailouts orchestrated by the plethora of carefully placed henchman throughout the highest levels of government has paid off—Goldman Sachs will pay out the biggest bonuses in its history after a "spectacular first half." More »
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Comment by ChillbearLatrigue: All Investment banking firms are not created equal. Goldman Sachs is apparently one of those firms that our Don Corleone... 24 Responses | Other threads
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soft bigotry of high expectations
Everyone Privately Loved Neel Kashkari, Neel Kashkari Claims
Last year, the Bush Treasury Department assigned a 35-year-old nobody named Neel Kashkari to oversee the multi-billion dollar bailout of the financial sector. He sucked and everyone hated him. Except in private! More »
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By PareeneComment by BookishLookish: Neel was in a very spendy mood one night and he gave me two grand for a lap dance. I... 6 Responses | Other threads
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alumni
Neel Kashkari's High School Homecoming
Remember Neel Kashkari, the government's workaholic bailout czar? We're guessing his job overseeing the nation's finances isn't keeping him that busy. He had time to return to his high school and give a speech! More »
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By Owen ThomasComment by Trulymadlyme: I want to build a time machine solely to going back to 1990 for the purposes of punching this guy... 4 Responses | Other threads
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recessionomics
Are Our Economic Masters' Ring Fingers Long Enough?
Men with unusually long ring fingers are more likely to be either a successful stock trader, or gay. So what does that tell us about the government's wise men patching up the economy? More »
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By Owen ThomasComment by BadUncle: What if you're born with an extra large thumb up your ass? 3 Responses | Other threads
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Neel Kashkari
Kashkari Kopykats!
Oh we see how it is. First we make Republican ski bum and national bailout chief Neel Kashkari a total object of desire by showing you how Ferrari-tastic he was in high school. Then People magazine goes and names him one of the sexiest guys in the world. And now, Details has named Neel #2 on their "Power List," if you can imagine "Details" and "Power" together in the same sentence. Kashkari kopykats are going krazy! We saw him first. That means we're first in line for some of that sweet bailout money in 09, baby. [Details; pic by ineffable.me]
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Comment by Mount_Prion: If Huffpo gets a bailout why can't Gawker? Also, that is one of the sexiest guys in the world? He looks... 4 Responses | Other threads
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Neel Kashkari
Neel Kashkari: Officially Sexy
Hey ladies: how'd you like to meet a guy with $700 billion in his pocket, a gleaming bald pate, and a memory full of Bernie Kosar quotes? Sexy is spelled N-E-E-L! Last name Kashkari! Our favorite steely-eyed Treasury Dept. appointee and Congressional chew toy is on People's list of Sexiest Men Alive—actually he's on the backup list, "Sexy A-Z." Even People couldn't get anything other than the same fucking straight-ahead staring pose that he's been using forever. Neel, how about frolicking merrily on a pile of $100 bills instead? Is our Republican financial overlord really as sexy as dance studio owner Maksim Chmerkovskiy? Click through for Neel's close-up and decide for yourself! More »
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Comment by rgspb: I'm convinced they've got straight men picking this list. Bear Grylls is about two twinkies away from man-boobs. Gordon Ramsay..what?... 8 Responses | Other threads
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Neel Kashkari
Financial Crisis Taking a Toll on Our Favorite Asshole Banker
Just because Treasury Dept. Bailout wonderboy Neel Kashkari gets to play with $750 billion in taxpayer money doesn't mean he actually has a good job. He came in looking peppy enough to bore holes in a taxpayer's forehead with only the power of his laser eyebeams; now, he's haggard. His eyes are dazed, plaintive even, and he's putting on classic stress-related weight under his chin. Congressmen yell at him. Old high school teachers talk shit about him. Internet jerks mock his awesome senior yearbook page. And he's really just a front man, taking all the heat for Hank Paulson's decisions and the mistakes of a million greedy Wall Street traders before him. We feel more sympathy for him than any other Ferrari-loving overconfident Republican ski bum Wharton grad in America. Keep on truckin, Neel.
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Comment by ♥Anti-Social Socialite♥: this is SUCH a movie plot... big wigs appoint SOME GUY (usually someone naive and already generally disliked) to a high... 4 Responses | Other threads
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Neel Kashkari
Angry Congress Yells At Poor Neel Kashkari
Wow, here's a clip that doesn't make you envy Neel Kashkari. The hawk-eyed Ferrari lover who's been assigned to run the government bailout of our dead financial system took a little trip up to Capitol Hill today to speak to Congress about how all that money is being used. Rep. Elijah Cummings did not appreciate Neel's tone! "Let me tell YOU something," he hollered at Neel, whose eyes went wide. He recovered well though. Neel, you are one unlucky sacrificial lamb, buddy. Watch the rage of Cummings below:
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Neel Kashkari
Neel Kashkari's Failure To Communicate
Neel Kashkari, where has your steely-eyed charm gone? When the Ferrari-loving young Republican banker took on the post as our nation's new Head of All Money, we had such high hopes for him. His eagle-like visage commanded respect; his brash overconfidence meant he was destined for greatness. But yesterday the markets tanked after his first big speech, and now the media is grumbling about his performance. Neel, what's wrong? Allow us to help, my rich bald friend. More »
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Comment by ADismalScience: I giggled at the third bit. But really, what do you want from the man? I know that Gawker is... 6 Responses | Other threads
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Neel Kashkari
Neel Kashkari Is Not A Motivational Speaker
The skittish stock market rose early this morning, but finished down 73 points, despite the best efforts of Neil "Ferrari" Kashkari, the Republican ski bum in charge of our government's Wall Street bailout package. Neel had a press conference this morning where he explained to everyone why the government is sinking $40 billion more into failed insurer AIG. Then he said "our capital markets are fragile." The market fell for the rest of the day. Dude, come on! How about a motivational phrase? Here's one we know you're familiar with: More »
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Comment by Uncle_Billy_Slumming: The obvious political pun being... First was the New Deal, now here's the Neel Deal? Bald liars! I come here Sikhing wisdom. 2 Responses | Other threads
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Neel Kashkari
Neel 'Ferrari' Kashkari: The US Bailout Chief's Epic High School Yearbook
Neel Kashkari is the intense young man tapped by the Treasury Department to lead our nation's financial bailout. The national media could paint only the most basic picture of him: a high-achieving Republican ski bum who rose quickly from Wharton to Goldman Sachs to, today, a position of national import. But guess what, friends: we have obtained Neel's 1991 senior high school yearbook page. Yes, the same page that a former teacher at Neel's school told us truly reveals his egocentric, douchebag nature. And it is epic. Rush quotes! Bush quotes! And the infamous Ferrari! Luxuriate in the awesomeness of our savior:
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Comment by ineffable.me: I have a Sonic Youth quote on my yearbook. I don't know what that says about me, but then again, I'll... 14 Responses | Other threads
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Neel Kashkari
Neel Kashkari: Preppy High School Jerk?
After the young, bald, intense Neel Kashkari was named last week as the unfortunate bastard who will lead the government bailout of Wall Street, all the media was scrambling to find out anything about his background. Besides the fact that he's a Republican ski bum, they haven't really turned up a single iota of dirt on Neel. But we have, possibly! Fellow Americans: Was our new Head Of Money a Ferrari-posing, flag-waving, "egocentric jerk" in high school?
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Neel Kashkari
National Money Chief Exposed As Hairless Wharton Grad
Either our nation's elite reporters are all snoozing, or our nation's young new bailout chief Neel Kashkari is a pretty boring guy (likely). But the WSJ today, after an exhaustive investigation, did manage to dig up this nugget: "'Everyone at Goldman has a full head of hair and went to prep school and Dartmouth and played lacrosse. That’s not Neel,' said an investment banker who knew him." Hey, remember Kevin Pollak in The Usual Suspects? "Did you put that together yourself, Einstein? Whattaya, got a team of monkeys working around on the clock on this?" [WSJ]
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Comment by overunderover: Like Superman, donning his cape. Here he comes, to save the day!!! 7 Responses | Other threads
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Neel Kashkari
America's Money Chief: Gizmo-Loving Republican Ski Bum
Unpatriotic dissenters are expressing doubts about Neel Kashkari, America's new young bullet-headed money whiz who's been tapped to lead this great nation out of the pit of financial despair. How dare they! It was almost humorous how little anyone knew about the 35-year-old AC/DC fan when the Treasury Dept. assigned him to lead the massive bailout earlier this week. But now we know more about: his family! His politics! His hobbies! And his wall art: More »
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Comment by American Dreamer: Kashkari is actually a common Iranian (not Indian) name which suggests that his family may be Zorastrian (a religious minority... 7 Responses | Other threads
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Neel Kashkari
Geek turned investment banker to save Wall Street
Every coder in the Valley was thinking that somewhere, somehow, we'd get called upon to fix the market meltdown. And sure enough, one of our own has been called to the job: Neel Kashkari, a 35-year-old finance whiz kid, has been tapped to spend the Treasury's $700 billion splurge on busted debt derivatives. Who is this guy? More »
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By Owen ThomasComment by ciscokidinsf: Dude... what's with the HUMONGOUS PICTURE SIZE... are we supposed to build Halloween Masks of this guy or something?? 1 Responses | Other threads
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Neel Kashkari
Neel Kashkari: America's New Head Of Money
The United States Treasury has selected the man whose job is to save our nation's finances by leading the government bailout of Wall Street: a 35-year-old AC/DC lover. Oh that's just great US government, just great. The whole entire media is scrambling to come up with enough background on the guy to fill up a feature story, and it's rough going. We've condensed every salient interesting fact about Neel Kashkari, the unblinking anointed guardian of your money, in a handy guide, after the jump: More »
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Comment by bringmemyTofu: He's here to shake things up. Shake them aaaaalllll niiiiight looooooong. 18 Responses | Other threads
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1-16 of 16 for "Neel Kashkari"
