Gawker
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shut up, college
Womyn vs. Tucker Max in Battle of Annoyances
Which is more unbearable: Tucker Max, or Ohio State University student group Womyn and Allies Rising in Resistance (WaARiR)? Finally, they've met in a death match so we can find out! More »
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Comment by Nic Fit: I'm sorry, he was "scheduled to speak" at a University? I guess Ron Jeremy was not available? 6 Responses | Other threads
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kids these days
College Radicalism Replaced by Tucker Max
Back in the sixties, college kids read books—books about revolution and sex and drugs. Today, college kids read Harry Potter books and whine about cops touching their Macbooks. Who's responsible? Tucker Max. More »
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Comment by TheHonJudgeSmails: They're both wrong, and both generations sucked raw ass, as all late-teenaged and early-twenties people have since when the average... 9 Responses | Other threads
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the cinema
Your Tucker Max Movie Update
Remember brotastic internet niche figure Tucker Max and his objectively awful movie script? Where the hell is that flick, huh? Here, your full update on I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, the movie: More »
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Comment by JPMarat: Gotta love the internet hate machine. This movie is not going to be the next big thing but it will... 17 Responses | Other threads
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Tucker Max
Tucker Max Associates In The News
We've heard so much about the exploits of fuck-a-chick blogger and filmmaker Tucker Max. What of those only tangentially related to him? Well, a 21-year-old UConn student who called Tucker "MY HERO" was arrested last weekend for "allegedly forcing his way into a sleeping woman's apartment and raping her." Also, Tucker Max's former lawyer is currently getting chewed out on Wikipedia for repeatedly trying to insert his own bio into Tucker's Wikipedia page. This has been your Tucker Max Associate Update.
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Comment by GuyBitchy: Just once, I'd like to see a gifted and ruthless serial killer go on a torture/murder spree targeting, exclusively and... 5 Responses | Other threads
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You Fucking Idiot
Tucker Max Calls Out Gawker
Horrible piece of garbage Tucker Max has issued a challenge to Gawker. He bets ten grand that we will underestimate how much the film version of his silly book for teenagers who like to watch each other jerk off will earn at the box office. And accuses us of being elitists who presume to be arbiters of taste. Surely, we are elitist, in that none of us consider a ham-fisted frat shit like him who has never committed an honest emotion to paper in any effectual way to be, in fact, a writer. At least that is my stand. I think he is merely a frightened little wuss who has to treat people badly because he thinks his mommy stole his penis. But let's get into his challenge, and my—not Gawker's—response after the jump. More »
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Comment by Ethan4477: You have all missed my point. It has nothing to do with frats or jocks or nerds or losers.... 56 Responses | Other threads
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second cities
How To Grow Microcelebrities In The Comfort Of Your Own Second-Tier City!
Do you live in one of those "second-tier" cities that seems woefully bereft of despicable and/or overprivileged and whatever the case self-promoting social climbing youngs? Ever find yourself reading, say, a blog…and feeling just a twinge or a pang or whatever of envy for New York's thriving industry of microcelebrity manufacture? [JUST SAY NO.] But Kate Carraway, a writer in Toronto reflecting on that lofty matter of Jessica Roy, actually claims she does. "We have no Julia Allison, the current Wired cover star, and centre of much debate on media celebrity; no Sloane Crossley…" [sic] she laments. Nor do they have a Keith Gessen nor an Emily Gould nor even much, like, blow! "The NY media circus is ordered and replenished by an anxious, aggressive, semi-twisted sense of value, but value nonetheless," she writes, calling for "a collective pursuit of something better and more worthwhile." Well, Kate Carraway, if this is what you deem "better and more worthwhile," allow me to get service-y with you for a minute and and share with you an abridged and hastily-told tale of a group of anxious, semi-twisted twentysomethings who tried to do exactly what you aspire to do in their own "lesser" city.
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By MoeComment by [::] gorichgo: Fuck this. Fuck NY. Philly will eat your babies. more » | Other threads
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Tucker Max
Field Guide: Tucker Max
Why the hell have we written so much about Tucker Max? Because you want to read it! What started out as nothing more than a one-off request to have a look at a bad movie script has blossomed into full-blown miniseries chronicling the many dimensions of our bro Tucker's internet-famous personality. But why did anyone care about this rather pedestrian guy in the first place? Schadenfreude is involved, we suspect. We've taken the time to delve into the psychology of this pressing issue below, in the Gawker Field Guide To Tucker Max. Complete with photos from Tucker's incredible life!
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Comment by toastycakes: He dresses like my grandmother when she goes to Walmart. Did he work out a cross-promotion with the dingy grey... more » | Other threads
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Tucker Max
The Movie Crew On Tucker Max: "Prick"
After Fark.com's Drew Curtis sent us a firsthand account last week of life on the set of I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, the upcoming comedic movie masterpiece written by fratire dude Tucker Max, another crew member followed up with his own list of gripes to us about working under a first-time movie maker who's also one of America's foremost assholes. I enjoy these leaks because—unlike our own in-house appraisals of Tucker's style—they come from people with no real ideological reason to dislike the man. Some people just want to work in peace! After the jump, our tipster's account of Tucker Max—"usually pricks like him are surrounded by pricks," he says, but in this case, "there's just one dick and he's a big one." More » -
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Tucker Max
A Cameo In The Tucker Max Movie
Fun fact: Drew Curtis, the guy who runs linky website Fark, went to high school for one year with professional asshole (but not moron) blogger-turned-film writer Tucker Max. So Drew somehow got handed a cameo role in I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell. Drew—who's big enough on the internet to not give a fuck what we or Tucker Max think—sent us a full report, saying Tucker is "out of control" but the actors are doing a good job, considering the material they're working with. And pictures! Click through now: More »
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Comment by AndWeDieYoung: @intothelight: Seriously, the "please not the relative balance" was the funniest part of the post. I laughed. The rest of it... more » | Other threads
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Destroy Him
The Tucker Max Choke-Out Video
Yeah, I know, we're giving lying writer, horrible hack, and obvious scat fetishist Tucker Max too much attention. But, well, he's an awful... thing... and there's always the hope that once in a while showing how much of a shit someone is again and again will actually harm them. I know, windmills and such. Still, here is one of the idiot's sycophantic goons/circle-jerk buddies putting someone in a potentially fatal choke-hold because the victim—also some kind of Tucker follower—dissed him on a message board, apparently. You know, coz Tucker and his dudes are raw. And coz this kinda shit is fuckin' h'larious bra. More » -
Tucker Max
Strange
Tucker Max's Wikipedia page bears no evidence that he's a gigantic tool. Editing that shit looks like a full time job, bro. [Wikipedia]
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Comment by the supergoddess: @RollsRoyceRevenge: From one of the Gawker threads, it's so... I can't even... just... yeah. I've been reading through some of Gawker's... more » | Other threads
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Tucker Max
Working On Tucker Max's Movie: No Morons Allowed
Pussy-smashing brew-guzzler and occasional blogger Tucker Max is hard at work on the Shreveport, Louisiana set of his comedic masterpiece film debut I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell. The ideal situation would obviously be for Tucker to produce, direct, star in, and cater the movie himself, but due to demands on his valuable time he's forced to take on lesser mortals as his assistants. One of whom, surprisingly, has now quit in disgust and forwarded along his story to us! After the jump, the sad tale of woe, abuse, and poop. But Tucker has a warning for you haters: "I didn't get where I am today by being a moron.":
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Tucker Max
Tucker Max's Awesome Guy Hall Of Fame
"Fratire" practitioner and pussy-pulling machine Tucker Max is best known for a handful of stories about himself on his blog that all—upon close inspection—involve getting drunk and chasing girls and are really not that interesting. But as an author with a well-developed voice, he sometimes ventures further afield, into stories about himself doing slightly different mundane things. But Tucker's never been able to understand the difference between being a charming asshole and being an actual asshole, and he is the latter, despite what he may think deep down. That's why he writes things like this long three-year-old message board posting about meeting an FBI agent whose tales of killing Mexicans land him in the Awesome Guy Hall of Fame! Tucker seems to have some latent fear of Mexicans, mane. Enjoy: More » -
Tucker Max
Tucker Max, Businessman
Tucker Max: blogger of beer and sluts, writer and producer of one of the least funny comedy movie scripts since Illegally Yours, and asshole in a dozen different ways. The most ridiculous of which is as the boss of his own mini-empire of blogs! And since last week, we've heard from several of his former Rudius Media employees, who expound on the gentle pleasures of working for one of America's foremost purveyors of racist poop jokes:
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Comment by Puns-n-Roses: @LadlySack: Actually, in a lot of mythology, the devil does have two penises. more » | Other threads
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Destroy Him
Even Shock Jocks Hate Tucker Max
How much of a total assclown and liar is Tucker Max? Even shock jocks Opie and Anthony can't stand him. When he was first pitching his retarded tome, the boys got so fed up with his obvious fabrications about crapping and sexing that they decided to make Tucker the joke of the day. Watch and enjoy as O&A—ably assisted by comedian Jim Norton—pretend that the proto-douchebag's microphone keeps kicking out. Being a self-obsessed child, of course, Tucker never gets wise to the ploy and keeps trying to tell his story over and over. Video after the jump, plus a link to a NSFW clip of Opie destroying Tucker's book and throwing it against the wall in disgust. More »
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Comment by amazedsally: you people are so insightful. do you know anything about the andrew fisher soap opera? more » | Other threads
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Tucker Max
How To Keep Employees Happy, By Tucker Max
Blogger mentor Tucker Max runs a blog network called Rudius Media that is badass, bro. Earlier today we mentioned that one former Rudius blogger once worked for six months only to receive a check for less than a hundred bucks ($82, to be exact). Now that blogger, Brandon Woods, has helpfully forwarded us the email chain that ensued after he emailed Tucker—very politely, we might add—to ask how the hell he came to be paid such a paltry sum for half a year's work. Tucker Max's reply to him (which he also forwarded to six other people) is below. And, well, yea: More »
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Comment by azilaw: @Thatcornellguy: Yes, I heard the McCain campaign is looking for a new telegraph operator. Their old one died recently from... more » | Other threads
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Tucker Max
The Tucker Max Asshole Allegation Roundup
Tucker Max, the "bet I can fuck this one-eyed chick in the bathroom after consuming 13 warm Coronas, bro" blogger and moviemaker—whose classic comedy movie script we excerpted for you this week—seems be an unpopular fellow, judging from the emails we receive around here. Considering the fact that he has built an "empire," ha, upon the stated foundation of being an asshole, it's not surprising. But it is getting a little hard to keep up. Today, we're going to give you a quick roundup of the various accusations against the man that have poured in to us. None of which are confirmed! Much like Tucker's own writing, they're just shit on the internet. Although several do seem to be in character for him:
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Comment by kyle4: I heard that any of us could make this same shit up and spout it, just like I spout made... more » | Other threads
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Tucker Max
Words Of Encouragement
An email last year from cinematic and literary savant Tucker Max to NYC blogger-about-town Cajun Boy: "Your writing reminds me of that girl at the bar that at 8pm, you think is OK but don't look twice at, and then only think about again right before closing time if you don't have anything better. It's better than most, but not something you'd go after. But keep working at it dude, it takes time to develop a strong voice." Yes, you'll get there one day, dude. [Cajun Boy]
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Comment by o-line: I completely blame Michael Ian Black for introducing the MonTuck Monster to Gawker. Before his "feud" with Max I was... more » | Other threads
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Tucker Max
"What it is like to date Tucker Max"
You, the public, recently got to preview portions of the horrific (currently in production!) movie script for I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, written by "Dude, I did 12 shots of Jamesons and totally puked on that chick's tits" bro-blogger Tucker Max. The primary question that arose afterwards was, "What kind of girl would go out with this asshole?" Well, ladies and gentlemen, we (purportedly) have an answer—with all of the "whores," bad sex, emotional manipulation, fried chicken, drunk driving, and, uh, other bad things that you would have imagined:
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Comment by BlueGiraffe: @Puns-n-Roses: "The Bunny" is her internet persona (as well as, I believe, a pet name Tucker calls her [her's for him... more » | Other threads
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Tucker Max
Expression Creep
From bro-blogger and aspiring Hollywood mogul Tucker Max's execrable movie script, p. 89: "TUCKER: I am going to hit it so hard, whoever pulls me out of you will become King of England." From Overheard In New York: "Guy #1: I'd totally hit that. Guy #2: Dude, I'd hit that so hard whoever could pull me out would become the King of England." Plagiarism, a sign of Tucker's fame, or just a widespread expression? Either way, it was only funny once. [Previously] -
Tucker Max
Tucker Max Seeks 'Large-Titted Woman Who Is Turned On By Being An Object'
Yesterday, while we were bravely posting traumatic excerpts of the script to Tucker Max's I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, the brah-blogger's peeps sent out an electronic casting call for the film. Perhaps we judged Max too harshly, unaware as we were of the high acting standards to which he will hold whoever plays "Jade," referred to in the script as "The Large Titted Woman Who Is Turned On By Being An Object." To look at the cast being assembled, one can't help but conclude that Beer In Hell will be a shoo-in for a coveted Best Feature Film Involving Midget Blowjobs Oscar. Here's what they're looking for in the way of exotic dancers (emphasis from the original, naturally): More »
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By Ryan TateComment by flemertown: I used to have a little (pre-Swimfan/Clockstoppers) thing for Jesse. Thought he was kinda awesome in King of the Hill.... more » | Other threads
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Tucker Max
Tucker Max's Movie Script: The Final Lowlights
Do you know what time it is? Time for the final awful excerpts of hot lady-banging dude blogger Tucker Max's movie script, that's what time! In the first half of the film, we saw Tucker asserting his status as an alpha male; in the second half, he reveals his sensitive side. Below, the final three lowlights of I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell—embracing the themes of multiculturalism, midget sex, and, yes, diarrhea. We hope this doesn't spoil the movie for you: More »
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Comment by katastic: "I wanna make a mess in your mouth."????!!!!!! .......... must....sharpen....castration.... scissors 1 Responses | Other threads
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Tucker Max
Tucker Max's Movie Script
Yesterday we put out a call for the viciously panned script of I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, the upcoming film written by I-totally-fucked-that-chick blogger Tucker Max. We immediately received about a dozen copies of the script, which is apparently being forwarded around Hollywood like a list of bad lawyer jokes. I also could have said "like herpes," and I could also follow up by joking that the script is about as funny as a bad lawyer with herpes, haha. Friends, it opens with Tucker Max fucking a deaf girl and screaming "DON'T TAZE ME, BRO!." It is that bad. After the jump, three of the most terrible moments from the film's first half. Jesus, bro:
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Tucker Max
"The kind of asshole that all of his asshole friends love"
You may be surprised to discover that people are still remarking upon the existence of Tucker Max, the prototypical ex-frat boy who likes to drink beer and bang hot girls and then write a crazy blog about the aforementioned banging that will make you lose your shit, bro. I would have guessed that Tucker would have settled down into a quiet job selling insurance by now after either being disabled in a bar fight or having his genitals bitten off by an undercover feminist. Instead, somebody foolish is paying him actual money to make a movie called I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, scheduled for release next year. More importantly, a blogger who read the film's script is calling it one of the most unfunny productions in years, and has nailed Tucker Max to the wall so deftly we just know he's home right now trying out comeback lines in the mirror while flexing his biceps and getting progressively drunker: More »
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Comment by toweliekp: Pretty scathing review. I'll throw my two cents in on the issue, not that it really matters. I see most folks... more » | Other threads
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publicity stunts
Five Annoying Online Publicity Stunts
Michael Ian Black, comedian and VH1's go-to analyst of pop culture, has started an online feud with testosterone and beer-fueled guy blogger Tucker Max. Black challenged Tucker to a fight, Tucker accepted, and now they are both talking trash in a way advantageous to the promotion of Black's new book. This would all be cuter if Black didn't just try to start another online feud with David Sedaris, to promote the same book. These online publicity stunts are incredibly difficult to pull off without being annoying; below, a jaded look back at five that sucked the big one: More »
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Comment by mintygreen: @CaptainHangNail: Outed! And out of here...thanks for helping me avoid actually doing anything for the last hour of my work... more » | Other threads
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