• Last time we heard from Mitch Winehouse, he was talking about daughter Amy's hot new rack. Now he's explaining the real reason for Amy's trip to the hospital last weekend: "It wasn't because she had a cold. She's fine, she just had a little [points to his chest] leaky something or other." Does that really happen? Brand new breasts just spring a leak? I was always under the impression you had to be skydiving into ice-cold water or boxing Layla Ali to apply enough force to bust one of those open, but then, Wino has always been somewhat impervious to the laws of physics. [Sun]
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• Demi Moore was totes photoshopped on her ragingly hot W cover. [fig.1] But, despite the overwhelming evidence, she's still denying it! [fig.2] Mrs. Ashton Kutcher retweeted several fans' defenses of her weirdly photoshopped hip, cheering "I have no hips!" and "I love the pic and can only say I wish I had good lighting like that following me around all day!! Haha" and "i am in the skinny side lately." [HuffPo]
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• Levi Johnston went to GQ's Men of the Year party and no one gave a crap about him. Apparently Hollywood isn't as into Ricky Hollywood as ol' New York is, probably because their sense of irony is weaker. [HuffPo]
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• Everyone's still mad at Kate Moss for saying "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" a couple days ago. Now activists are pulling the mommy card, since Moss has a seven-year-old daughter. Moss' modeling agency stands by her, though they are suddenly reminded why the Kate Moss policy was always "look pretty, don't open mouth." [Us]
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• John Kerry has rushed to daughter Alexandra's defense regarding yesterday's DUI arrest, and seems cautiously optimistic about his daughter's fate, since she was under the legal BAC limit and was pulled over for expired tags. TMZ says "it's unlikely prosecutors will file charges," which probably has nothing to do with My Daddy the Senator, but then again, it probably doesn't hurt. [TMZ]
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• Out editor Aaron Hicklin got pissed at Adam Lambert for faking straight too many times, and Lambert is pissed right back. In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, the American Idol star says Hicklin "really crossed a line," took statements "out of context," and unfairly pigeonholed him. "Not every gay man is the same gay man," Lambert said. "It's just sexuality." That's right, nobody can take your sexuality away from you, other than marketing executives with big plans for making your album go platinum with teen girls. Anyway, now that we've entered the "critical discourse on the nature of human sexuality" phase of this story, I'm officially jumping ship. Get back to me when you date someone interesting or make a sex tape, Adam. [EW]
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• Tina Fey's nefarious plot to destroy NBC continues. At an Ad Council gala the 30 Rock star joked, "NBC is sadly the fourth-place network; actually, we're in ninth place if you count the radio stations ahead of us right now." The crowd laughed uproariously and as it slowly dawned on a room full of NBC-Universal executives that they might not be in on the joke any more. [P6]
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• For her seventeenth birthday, Miley Cyrus dressed up as Julia Roberts' character from Pretty Woman, A.K.A., a whore. Jesus Christ, Billy Ray, rein in your daughters. [P6]
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• Top fashion model Daul Kim, a 20-year-old from South Korea, was found dead yesterday in her Paris apartment in an apparent suicide. Kim shot video diaries and had a popular blog. Her last post, dated the day before her death, read "say hi to for ever." [P6]
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Figures 1 & 2

First there was his ladytastic shoot for Details and then we called Lambert out for trying to talk about female genitalia in gay magazine Out. Now Aaron Hicklin, the editor of Out, is backing up our stance. In his editor's letter in the upcoming Out 100 issue, according to Towelroad, he writes:

It's only because this cover is a group shot that includes a straight woman that your team would allow you to be photographed at all - albeit with the caveat that we must avoid making you look "too gay."...Getting straight men and women to do Out is easy these days. It gives them cred. Getting gay stars like yourself is another matter. Much easier to stick you in Details, where your homosexuality can be neutralized by having you awkwardly grabbing a woman's breast and saying, "Women are pretty." So are kittens, Adam, but it doesn't mean you have to make out with them.

Um, doesn't Lambert make himself look "too gay" with all that glittery and eyeliner and flamboyance? We agree with Hicklin that it's not Adam trying to keep himself in the closet, but the executives, publicists, and other assorted minders that are managing his career. Even though he didn't publicly come out until after American Idol was over, his orientation was the other big pink elephant on the stage sitting right next to Ryan Seacrest. And millions and millions of Americans still voted for him (even though power gay Michael Musto is regretting his decision). Lambert himself has always seemed very confident being open about who he sleeps with, so why are his managers trying to build a closet around him?

There is no way that any celebrity can make a living off of just a gay fan base—there just aren't enough of us to support a giant megastar. So, conventional wisdom says that in order go go mainstream, an entertainer has to tone down the pink glitter in order to not offend anyone. Does anyone remember Liberace? Or Richard Simmons? Maybe part of Lambert's appeal is that he is a big ol' Mary? Maybe teenage girls and straight women want him to continue being the radical fairy that was introduced on Idol.

The specter of Clay Aiken—the other successful gay Idol—hangs over Lambert's career, because after coming out, Aiken hasn't sold nearly as many CDs as when he was in the closet. The difference is that Aiken always skirted the issue and denied that he was gay, trying to court his rabid fan base of girls that wanted to marry him. Lambert has a different kind of appeal. He's the gay guy that (while girls may crush on him) people want to party with. His appeal goes past an asexual charm because he has talent and showmanship—and who doesn't love their pop songs served up with a little bit of pizazz.

Yes, the gays won't be happy until Lambert stops being photographed with naked women and talking about how he wants to give cunnilingus a whirl, but really, that may be the best thing for his career.

(Disclosure: Aaron is a friend, but he didn't tell me about this new job. Probably because I would have said he was crazy.)

On our way in, we brushed past Julia Allison. Her breasts, "outsized badges of femininity," were like two convicts struggling to escape the confines of her dress. "If you see any single men, give them my number!" she called after us. We did, and they were gay.

The best gay by far wasn't Maer Roshan, who is not gay so much kind of nicely paternal, but Greg Garry, Radar's photo director. When asked about Whoopi's reaction to his cover he squealed, "That fucking bitch! What a cunt! That bitch! I mean, she dated a white dude who went around in blackface!" A girl in gold lamé stretch pants and a butterfly sequined top said, "Yeah, Tony Danza." No dear, Ted Danson. "Yeah, Ted Danson!"

Both Emily Gould (who was there) and I noticed that their newest employee, Alex Balk, had lusciously eyelashed pyrite eyes—and that they lacked the feral hunted quality that they had when he worked with us. He looks like one million dollars in change and his skin shone with an inner light.

I talked to some guy in a suit that turned out to be Maer's lawyer, a man named Douglas A. Hand, Jr. On his business card, j.d. and m.b.a. are in minuscule letters, as if majuscule (or serifs) are too ostentatious. He was the only one reading Radar. (At least, at the party!) Maer had given him a copy. "You know, Maer's always trying to assert his rights with Yusef. It is the battle between editorial and publishing." That's Yusef D. Jackson, head of Integrity Multimedia LLC.

Yusef's boy reporter Neel Shah was wearing a cardigan. New York Observer gossip reporter Spencer Morgan was wearing a $1,500 Paul Smith blazer. His grandfather had bought it for him.

As the night wore on, Pol Pot jokes cropped up more often due to the presence of skulls at the bar. "What's Pol Pot's favorite pick up line?" I ventured. "Khmer, I've got something to show you!" It worked neither as a joke nor a pick up line.

Soon enough though we were all headed to the Lolita Bar for the afterparty. Maer ducked out to buy some Marlboro Lights. By this point Page Six magazine's Rachel Syme had joined us. Later in the night so did New York mag's Jada Yuan. All of us talked about Page Six honcho Richard Johnson a lot—you know, the guy who promises to rape non-ugly lady reporters in his column.

I said I thought a theological case could be made that he is the devil. Maer Roshan's boyfriend Matt, who sometime appears on "30 Rock," said, "Did I just hear the world theology?" I said he had. And then weirdly Nick Denton, our own personal Yusef, appeared, along with Aaron Hicklin, editor of Out. I thought Maer and Nick hated each other but Nick explained to me that nothing is ever personal.

Last week, MediaPost noted that Out and its sister publication The Advocate suffered "big drops in ad pages and newsstand sales during the first half of the year—making 2007 the second year of double-digit declines for the titles," and that Out's ad pages in that period were down 20.% over last year.

We asked Out's editor Aaron Hicklin to tell us more, and he cast it like this: "I would say that the first six months of 2007 reflected a protracted handover between former editor and myself (Out had no editor in chief for five months), and the fact that the impact of our redesign (last November) is only now being felt in terms of an uplift, which is typical of this industry. September 07 was our biggest book in terms of ad pages to date, and December—our annual OUT 100 issue—is looking likely to beat last December."

As we recall, Out (and Advocate) lost their publisher back in February, so we're not surprised to see their ad pages suffer during the period of his departure. Oh and also the company is run by crazy people. That doesn't help at all.

Memo Pad: 'Out' Editor's Straight Talk [WWD]
Earlier: Get Yer New 'Out,' Much Like the Old 'Out'

[Click on the image to enlarge.]

Out.com
Earlier: Gawker's coverage of Aaron Hicklin.

Earlier: Gawker's coverage of 'BlackBook.'

1. "I am pleased to have him as the new editor and chief, he is also sexy."

2. "I hope that you will enjoy OUT magazine. [...] P.s. Your also very cute too."

3. "Hello, please show men with a nice hair on the chest. Thanks"

4. "Best of luck! You have great credentials along with looks."

5. "I welcome you to OUT and if you ever want to go for a roll in the sack that could be arranged! WOW! You should be the next Hot Guy of the Day!"

When starting a new job, it's always nice to be welcomed with open arms and unzipped pants.

For the Gays, a Long Row to Hoe [The Daily Transom]
Earlier: Hicklin Abandons 'Blackbook' for 'Out'

Yesterday, Time's blogger Andrew Sullivan announced that the new editor of Out magazine is a heterosexual. "Seriously, I think it's great that a straight guy is now heading up a gay magazine," he wrote.

While that idea fits nicely with Mr. Sullivan's theories on the continued blurring of straight and gay culture and identity, it doesn't quite deliver, as Mr. Hicklin is actually not a heterosexual.

Andrew Sullivan Sees Straight in New 'Out' Editor
[Daily Transom]

Aaron Hicklin Is Out's New Daddy [Jossip]