Millionaire "Alien Abductee" Wins World Chess Federation Presidency

In a 110-to-61 landslide, chess Grandmaster Garry Kasparov has lost his bid for the World Chess Federation presidency to a man who says that he was abducted by aliens. It's easily Kasparov's most embarrassing defeat in years, maybe since a scrappy little abacus named Deep Blue straight-up taught him how to play chess.
According to Bulgarian officials, DNA tests have confirmed that a Bulgarian Roma woman is the mother of the mystery blonde girl found in Greece last week.
The Greek Roma couple found last week with a little girl named “Maria” were formally charged with her abduction Monday. Christos Salis and Eleftheria Dimopoulou have been placed in pre-trial detention while a worldwide search for the young girl’s family continues.
Michaele Salahi Is Missing!
Sound the alarm! Alert the authorities that haven't already been alerted! Michaele Salahi, White House party-crasher turned temporary Real Housewives star, has maybe been abducted, claims her husband.
Genie in a Battle
[Christina Aguilera filmed a scene for her new Lifetime movie The Abduction of Chrissy A. in New York today. She was also on CBS' The Early Show. Image via INF]
New York's Pigeons Feel Wrath of Pennsylvania Gun Nuts
Pennsylvania rednecks are kidnapping NYC's pigeons for live target practice, calling it "an American tradition."
