Staff Sgt. Tracy Dice Johnson, a National Guard soldier whose wife, Staff Sgt. Donna Johnson, was killed in Afghanistan in 2012, has learned that she will receive survivor benefits from the VA, the first same-sex spouse to be afforded that privilege.
Zooey Deschanel Might Be in Time-Travel Movie
Emoticon-ridden macaroon recipe Zooey Deschanel may star in "low budget time-travel dramedy About Time," Variety reports.
Kids Finally Smarten Up and Stop Going to Law School
Not to be immodest, but our research (reading the newspaper) indicated long ago that going to law school was a sucker move, for suckers. Why go to law school? All it is is racist beer pong and racist emails, and when you graduate your worthless degree won't get you a job, and you get all bitter and eventually find…
Smoking Banned On All U.S. Submarines
The Navy has banned smoking aboard all U.S. submarines. They will provide nicotine patches to help sailors quit. Which makes sense, because imagine if you're a mile underwater in a tiny metal tube and... damn. I need a cigarette.[AP]
Hope There Are Songs In It!
The wait is over: REO Speedwagon is now a video game.
Financial Crisis Villains Identified: Nillas
Brazil's president has placed the fault for this financial crisis right where it belongs: on "white people with blue eyes." They just look shady. Don't like it? Get used to it, Nilla!
