For months the build-up to the campaign has turned America's teenage girls into a pack of depraved junkies, refreshing their browsers with increasing rage looking for the latest tidbit of the film. Since the first Twilight film itself came out, Summit has doled out pieces of New Moon in tiny parcels, offering up stills from the film, three trailers, song lists from the soundtrack, soundtrack cover art, new posters, set photos data about the film's running time and of course relentless 24/7 coverage of every movement of stars Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner etc.

Like alleged pieces of the true cross floating across Europe in the middle ages, there may in fact currently be more artifacts of New Moon out there on the market than there actually is New Moon to hold them; by our calculations New Moon would have to be approximately 18 hours long to fit in all the pieces of New Moon that have found their way into the public space.

We have no doubt that once the public safety threat has been passed, Congress will want to investigate the fact that Summit entertainment has for the past year kept the teenage girls of America hovering over a precipice between sanity and raving bedlam. The campaign however, has brilliantly created not just one mega-PR event with the release of the film but turning the release of PR materials themselves into mega-events, with their own build-up, countdowns and launch parties — and making the tireless muckrakers of entertainment journalism their lackeys in the frenzy.

Take this week for instance. The big event in Twilight-land, still reeling from the launch of the New Moon soundtrack currently topping the iTunes charts, will be the release of a new clip from the film, to debut on Access Hollywood. The clip itself will presumably run about a minute, as past clips have. But building up to the release of that precious minute of footage, Access Hollywood received permission to preview the release of the clip; the clip which will preview the movie, running on their site an approximately three second slice of the minute to come.

The clip's release will be followed by blanket coverage on MTV and elsewhere of reaction to the clip's release and hundreds of hours of punditizing about where this leaves us as a Twilight-based society.

Someday these people will understand that they have toyed with forces beyond their power to control. But until then, all we as society can do is pray. And lock the doors.

In an email our tipster, who worked out of Access Hollywood's LA office and was one of those unfortunately laid off, said this:

"It was a bloodbath and came out of nowhere! They laid off a ton of people."

We don't have much more information, but maybe you do—If so, send us an email to fill us in! Did Billy Bush get canned? Does Nancy O'Dell still have a job? A nation anxiously waits to know.

UPDATE: A source close to the show contacted Gawker after this post went up to inform us that the "bloodbath" consisted of seven Los Angeles-based Access Hollywood staffers that were laid off today.

We also received this statement from an NBC Universal spokesperson:

"We continue to think strategically about how we can conduct our business in this changing economy."

Flackery at its finest ladies and gentleman.

Barbara Walters gushed over View colleagues. (She loves Sherri, but not enough to know how her name is spelled!)


E! News anchorlady Giuliana Rancic got into a Twitterfight with Access Hollywood host Billy Bush over gay marriage.

Boa-laden media horror Laurel Touby interviewed a recruiter about her bus.

Former Engadget editor Ryan Block coped with San Francisco's hipster heatwave.

Wired editor Adam Rogers fed the hand that bit him.

Did you witness the media elite tweet something indiscreet? Please email us your favorite tweets — or send us more Twitter usernames.

Being a child actor is a terrible thing for almost anyone, but we especially feel for Lautner, who Summit very publicly flirted with firing for the upcoming Twilight sequel New Moon. Lautner's Jacob Black is supposed to become an incredibly tall, muscular fellow in between installments, and speculation had it that the teenager might be recast with an actor more physically appropriate. However, Lautner immediately began a workout plan that would put this Dr. Phil teen bodybuilder to shame, and now the media must see his bare flesh for approbation! "You're ripped," coos the Access Hollywood interviewer in the video below as Lautner flexes and shows off his abs. "How many inches around is that?" Do not watch this video unless you want to find yourself on several government watch lists and Dateline specials. Can somebody get this poor teenager a McNugget?

Mendte is accused of opening Lane's email "hundreds" of times, and possibly of leaking some of the information he found to the media. Investigators are currently trying to match up the timing of leaks with the emails that they know Mendte opened—including a bunch from her lawyer, which may be related to a lawsuit Lane filed against CBS3 after her police-smacking incident. Bad! This is considered the same as opening someone's mail at home, legally speaking. So why did he do it, allegedly? Even gossiping colleagues aren't sure:

Several current and former CBS3 newsroom staffers, who agreed to speak yesterday on condition of anonymity, said they were shocked at the suggestion of animosity between Mendte and Lane, who became an anchor team on Sept. 15, 2003. The combination quickly boosted the station's appeal: Mendte, the hometown guy, raised in Lansdowne, hired away from NBC10 after six years; and Lane, the rising star from Long Island, hired from Miami.

But two sources said their off-air relationship had its highs and lows; they seemed to be barely speaking by the end of last year, they said.

It's also unclear why the feds would get involved in a case like this, except to make an example out of a high-profile TV star. The curse of tabloid television hosts in action! Ironic, too, that Mendte's best YouTube clip involves him falling down on the job:

[Inky]

• WATCH VIDEO

• WATCH VIDEO

HFPA leaders caved under network pressure only when assured that the TV show would be a serious press conference produced by NBC's news division. They never thought they'd get stuck with "a puff show" with Billy Bush and Nancy O'Dell, says a source.

The Hollywood Foreign Press Association has enough trouble deflecting criticism about the freelance status of many members. It's doubtful that the group would've agreed to this plan if NBC had been clear up front, is the sentiment I understand is now coming from the HFPA camp.

"The show isn't a real press conference," a veteran TV producer tells me. "It doesn't look like [the] journalists present will be able to ask questions of Golden Globe officials. They'll be there as captives to watch Billy and Nancy read off nominees and winners in 25 award categories."

It's understandable that some HFPA members would be galled by the puffery of NBC's plans, which make a disturbing mockery of the organization's normally sacred celebration of Hollywood. If the network had any interests but its own at heart, it would have made some attempt at incorporating the solemn ritual that usually begins each Globes ceremony—the consumption of Orson Welles' transubstantiated body and blood in the form of filet mignon and stiff vodka-tonics— as a show of good faith, even if they ultimately insisted that the oppressively telegenic Bush and O'Dell serve as the officiants of the rite.

• Globes TV special now an '"Access" PR stunt'? [Gold Derby]

Was it planned? Boy or girl? Has she picked a name? What's her theory about children and tattoos? Virtually nothing is off-limits, and it's all covered in the clip above. As always, enjoy—as if we even had to remind you to do that.

• Nicole Richie, Part I [Access Hollywood]

• Access Live Stream: Spears-Federline Custody Hearing [accesshollywood.com]

Prosecutors in Los Angeles want the former "Lost" star's probation on several charges including hit and run and driving under the influence, revoked for allegedly failing to fulfill her community service obligations.

In documents obtained by Access Hollywood, prosecutors allege that Rodriguez turned in papers claiming she performed only 16 days of community service out of 30 days.

Also, one of those days is being called into question — September 25, 2006...As a result of the conflicting reports, the prosecution claims all of Rodriguez's community service should be called into question.

Rodriguez's aversion to community service is well established, having passed on that option during her Hawaiian sentencing in favor of a five-day poetry and song retreat behind the walls of a Honolulu women's correctional facility. Should her distaste for highwayside refuse-spearing have led her to lie to the court, however, the consequences could be severe; so severe, in fact, that they could affect her access to the Avatar set, whereupon she'd quickly find herself replaced by a far more dependable synthespian with no bad habit of stepping behind the wheel of a CGI-spaceship after one too many virtua-cocktails.

• Michelle Rodriguez's Probation To Be Revoked? [accesshollywood.com]

Late yesterday afternoon, we briefly noted the flap over international gigolo Richard Gere's osculatory battery of Indian actress Shilpa Shetty at a New Dehli AIDS rally, which prompted outraged protestors to set ablaze effigies of the satyr/activist for his public violation of their cherished star. Since we realize that our previous, blockquoted summary of the story was woefully inadequate in fully communicating the intricacies of this complicated matter, we point you to the fine work of Access Hollywood Cultural Analyst William "Billy" Bush, whose deep knowledge of Indian mores allow him to break down the shocking video of the event frame by frame and explain Gere's transgression with Zapruderesque attention to every taboo-violating detail.

• Access Hollywood
• Previously: Richard Gere Causes Uproar In India After Publicly Sampling The Busty Bollywood Goods [Defamer]

It is not a bare all, rehashing of that period of his life. I was prepared to ask him all the questions in the world regarding mistakes made and lessons learned, but trust me, he was not. He asked if 5 minutes of rolling tape was ok in the studio while he "collaborated" with Will.I.Am from the Black Eyed Peas. Ultimately, We rolled for about 40 minutes and I did ask him questions about music and his thoughts for making a comeback.

Michael Jackson was nervous and antsy. He was truly torn. He wanted to stay and keep jamming and have some fun, but he also wanted to leave before, from his perspective, he got crucified by another TV interview.

Michael's publicist and advisor, Raymone Bain, informed us (me and my Executive Producer, Rob Silverstein - pictured above with Michael and Will.I.Am) that Michael would like to meet us alone, no cameras, in his cottage first. We agreed of course and before long we were seated at a breakfast table in a very cozy, humble stone cottage. Down the spiral staircase he came. First his boots, then his pants...black with a gold stripe down the side, then a velvet jacket with a white t-shirt underneath, then he turned to face us. I admit, my pulse was running high. He is a mythical character as atypical and untouchable as can be.

And it was there in that lonely cottage that young Billy Bush, having already had his defenses dangerously lowered by seeing the Erstwhile King of Pop practicing the craft that once made him one of the richest and most beloved people in the world, was molested. But Bush was surprised to find that Jackson's greedy caresses were not those of the Cub-scout-gobbling monster depicted in the media, but rather just the sexually confident actions of a man who simply knows what he wants and isn't afraid to take it, even from the boyish-enough host of a celebrity news show.

• Billy's Blog: Michael Jackson Exclusive (October 15, 2006) [Access Hollywood]

A tense moment passed between Access Hollywood's Maria Menounos and Big Bird, when the Sesame Street star began to suspect that the reporter's wandering hand was engaged less in the sensual caress that he demanded than in a fumbling search for his rapidly engorging avian member. But an impatient Bird decided to put a quick end to her amateurish attempts at manual stimulation by gently, but firmly, placing a three-fingered hand on her back and guiding her head downward; the tension quickly dissipated as the star finally relaxed and Menounos went about her task, quietly telling herself that the exclusive interview he'd deliver would be worth the temporary discomfort of a face full of yellow feathers.

• Even Muppets Go Gaga For Maria Menounos [Hollywood Tuna]

A NBC lackey claims that the Access misquote was just that, and not a limp-wristed jab at CBS for luring away NBC's star talent. Coming from a show that readily spoils season finales via press release and continues to employ Billy Bush — an ingratiating bacteria who buries himself deep within the asses of D-List celebrities — it's not hard to believe they'd make such a stupid mistake.

Access Blows Katie Quotes [Page Six]
Earlier: Access Hollywood Is Just Plain Awful

Sure, the season's outcome was rumored in a few publications, but to have it confirmed by the show's star? Via Access, of all places? That's just not right. It's like when the Times spoiled Million Dollar Baby. Except more retarded.

Want the spoiler subject line for yourself? After the jump.

From: NBC flack
To: Gawker
Sent: 4:14 PM
Subject: ON THE NEXT "ACCESS HOLLYWOOD:" MISCHA BARTON CONFIRMS HER CHARACTER ON "THE O.C." DIES AND REVEALS WHAT THE SHOW HAS IN STORE FOR FANS