Gawker: Advertising

WWD Staff In Uproar Over Being Made To Write Advertorial Fluff

Hamilton Nolan — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 16:42:05 EDT

"Fashion Rocks" is Conde Nast's big advertorial extravaganza pegged to Fashion Week, when the magazine company can sell extra ad space to all its fashion advertisers in a fluffy, profile-heavy special supplements. But we hear that the staff of the Conde-owned WWD is currently embroiled in a mini-revolt, after they were ordered to write the copy for the 48-page Fashion Rocks supplement that went out with yesterday's issue. There's no reason an editorial staff should ever be made to write advertorial copy. The most egregious line-crossing of all: a full-page interview in the supplement with Richard Beckman, Conde Nast's own head of marketing.

Beckman, of course, would be the mastermind of the entire Fashion Rocks campaign, so what the hell is a fluff interview of him doing in a WWD-penned special supplement, posing as legit editorial copy? Staffers there are asking themselves the same thing. They feel that Mary Berner, who formerly led Fairchild and WWD before it was all absorbed into Conde Nast, would never have stood for such a thing.

On MediaPost yesterday, Ari Rosenberg decried the whole ongoing degeneration of the advertising/ editorial line. "Today's media-buying demand for a 'big idea' required to earn a media commitment, combined with a softer and more competitive environment, all driven by a sales force that has no idea who Henry Luce is, have publishers doing things not done before," he wrote.

Which leads to this:

What's The Deal With Jerry?

Hamilton Nolan — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 14:10:33 EDT

By the way, the point of that pointless Seinfeld-Bill Gates ad, according to Microsoft: "to re-ignite consumer excitement about the broader value of Windows." It's more likely to re-ignite consumer excitement about wearing shoes in the shower. [TechCrunch]

Seinfeld, Bill Gates Waste 90 Seconds Not Talking About Microsoft

Hamilton Nolan — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 12:43:18 EDT

Less than two weeks after Microsoft confirmed that it had picked the Mac-loving Jerry Seinfeld as its new endorser, this ad with Seinfeld and Bill Gates is everywhere. And it is awful. I mean, it's kind of engaging to see this half-billionaire comedian kicking it in a shoe store with the many-billionaire Microsoft nerd-in-chief; but up until the final seconds, I was convinced this was an ad for Payless. And I may be stupid, but I'm still your target audience, Microsoft. Surely Sarah Silverman and Willie Nelson will be a bit more techno-centric. Watch what $10 million can buy, after the jump:

Movie Poster Banned For Alluding To Seth Rogen's Sexuality

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 16:47:22 EDT

The MPAA, the cabal charged with protecting American decency through movie regulation, has banned a promo poster for the upcoming Kevin Smith and Seth Rogen flick Zack And Miri Make A Porno, just before its debut in Toronto. Too blowjob-y. Considering the film's title, the only surprise is that the poster was so bland. But not bland enough! Now the forbidden ad will be seen only in Canada, as well as on dozens and dozens of websites, including this one:

*Americans, please unclick this post.

[via Adfreak]

50 Years Of Stagnation

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 11:41:12 EDT

Now that I've started getting Mad Men on Netflix, I plan to catch up with every other ad critic in the past year by cleverly inserting a reference to the show into each advertising-related item that I write. In this way we seduce you with a connection to a piece of pop culture detritus you enjoy, then use that as a catapult into our sales pitch, represented in this case by a plea for you to read the rest of this post, with the implied promise that it will be worth your while. So, remember that Mad Men episode where they're all marveling at the Volkswagen "Lemon" ad?

That particular ad was a breakthrough just because of its honest, direct style. It was the opposite of Lucky Strikes' "It's Toasted" campaign—an equivalent would have been something like "Lucky Strikes—you'll die but you like them anyways."

VW continued on a streak of spot-on advertising that spanned at least the next two decades. Look at this classic VW TV spot and ask yourself, has advertising advanced past this yet, idea-wise?

Straight talk, a simple idea, and a dash of humor. It's the same thing good ads are made up of today. They figured this out years ago. But shitty ads still persist. Why? Because ad people are missing the lessons of Mad Men, apparently. Modernity, feh.

[ad via Coudal]

All Music Now Represented By Gadget

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 11:06:32 EDT

If you want to grab the public's attention in this crowded luxury real estate market, you can't just name your new development something bland like "New Condos in Chelsea." Better to call it "Tempo." It evokes movement—movement right into your new development, ha! Marketing people get paid to come up with these names, really. And how best to communicate the power of music and rhythm, the primeval sense of melody that you want to inextricably link to your building's brand? Find a way to work an iPod (or a knockoff of one) into your logo! Because music is made of iPods. Here's how you attract the true connoisseurs:

[via Copyranter]

When Newspapers Need To Pitch Themselves, They Turn To Video

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 10:34:12 EDT

Is it possible that the dying newspaper industry can be saved by skillful advertising? No, but it can certainly be helped. This ad for Australia's The Age is visually enthralling, and captures the promise of a paper that brings the entire world to your door. Though it's too bad that it also reinforces the fact that video is way more exciting than print. And, you know, it's not an American paper. Still worth watching. [Fitz & Jen]

Natural Salesmen

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 16:54:42 EDT

A dancing Perez Hilton will sell you Levi's. Wait; no he won't. ["Perez Unbuttoned"]

Secret Layoff Talking Points Sent To Entire Company In All-Time Classic Email Fuckup

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 15:47:30 EDT

Oh dear, it seems that the corporate leadership of a media agency has royally fucked up. Carat decided it had to lay off some workers. So the honchos carefully prepared secret internal talking points and strategy memos laying out exactly how they would break the news to the staff and clients, and deal with the media fallout. Then they accidentally emailed all that shit to their entire agency. Ha. Ha. Ha. The highlights are just so delicious:

Lesson 1: Layoffs provide innovation, somehow. Message to clients:

Lesson 2: Keep this all quiet! From the FAQs:

Lesson 3: No, really. Keep this all quiet:

One note from Mr. Hollander reflected on the company's PR plans around the layoffs. He wrote, "This is a tough one. Since we're not opting to get out in front of the press, we will be left to defend. I think we may need to prepare for different contingencies depending on how they may hit us — because they will hit us. RISK assessment."

It's too much. Read it all at Ad Age.

We do feel sorry for whoever sent that email. ("Chief People Officer Rose Zory.")

Michael Phelps' Mom Has Her Own Frumpy Endorsement Deal

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 09:45:59 EDT

Is America ready for fashion endorsements from regular people? To clarify, "regular" means "A person who is famous in some way, but not pretty." It's a heartwarming concept, but the answer is "no." Americans will never relinquish our devotion to models (though we have been known to tolerate slightly less anorexic models). But! What if said "regular person" is the woman who spawned superhuman American fish hero Michael Phelps? Still no:

Debbie Phelps, Michael's mom, has signed a six-figure endorsement deal with Chico's, the company that made most of the clothes she wore in the stands at the Olympics. Michelle Obama is also on the record as a Chico's fan!

"We thought, 'Wow, these are real customers. Let's talk about it,'" says Chico's spokeswoman Jessica Wells. "To shoppers, to real women, they feel authentic."

1. Michelle Obama, the future first lady of the US, is not some average "real customer."
2. She is far more glamorous than Debbie Phelps, too.
3. Maybe they should have just used photos of Michelle Obama instead, forcing her to sue and create free publicity?
4. Michael Phelps fast, wow! (Obligatory).

[WSJ]

Advertising Seeks Whippersnappers

Hamilton Nolan — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 11:44:41 EDT

There's a scene in the first episode of Mad Men when the ad agency pulls its only Jewish employee out of the mailroom and has him sit in on a meeting in order to impress a Jewish client. This is called "casting," and it happens in real life too! Today Jews are more adequately represented (we assume), but the ad industry is currently seeking another group for a starring role in central casting: the young. Because young people "get it" in this changing digital age, haha, supposedly! Veterans say this is stupid—mostly because they're scared of getting fired. But they're also right!

The ad industry is in a downturn right now, just like the media. That means higher-salaried employees are the ones that agencies would most like to let go. Also, every client wants something "digital," and having taken their cues from Mountain Dew commercials, they're convinced that only young slacker types can truly deliver the audience they need buying their widgets.

So, no matter how smart people are, you can't put any old folks in front of clients seeking young buyers, regardless of who actually comes up with the good ideas. And ruminate upon this quote:

"If you have 'interactive' or 'digital' in front of your title, you'll be paid 10-15 percent more in compensation," says Amy Hoover, evp at the industry's largest recruitment firm, Talent Zoo. "

So industry veterans hide in their offices, take pay cuts, and face layoffs while young upstarts plunder their ideas and reap the benefits. It's unjust. What other industry does that remind us of? Welcome to the digital revolution, ad people.

—Hamilton Nolan, Interactive Digital Blogger

(Of course when this plays out to its logical conclusion of actually letting young people make the decisions, the entire paradigm will crumble because of their ignorance and order will be restored.)

[Adweek]

Pfizer's New Strategy: No Fake Doctors

Hamilton Nolan — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 10:12:20 EDT

Pfizer went through a huge hassle earlier this year when some touchy public health types pointed out that the company's main spokesman for the cholesterol drug Lipitor—artificial heart inventor and Skeletor look-alike Robert Jarvik—was not actually a doctor, although the whole $250 million ad campaign was premised on him touting his medical expertise. So the company has regrouped and come up with a dynamic new spokesman: a regular guy, just like you! Which goes to show how unnecessary the Jarvik fiasco was. If the company had gone with either "regular guy" or "actual doctor" in the first place, it could have saved itself millions in marketing costs and months of downtime in this multibillion-dollar fight for worldwide drug supremacy. But why not live on the edge? After the jump, soak in the misleading-ness of an old ad featuring the non-practicing Dr. Jarvik:

[WSJ]

Networks Have No Idea What To Say About Fall Lineups

Hamilton Nolan — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 09:26:52 EDT

As you would imagine, it's hard enough for TV networks to come up with marketing campaigns for all their new shows every time the fall season rolls around, because most of the shows are doomed to be failures. Which ones? Hopefully not the ones you, network marketing person, came up with the campaign for! Promotions are always a balancing act between enthusiasm and tempered expectations. But this year the networks are having a slightly different problem: they don't even have enough material on many new shows to make ads for them. Thanks, writers' strike!

Typically, the major networks decide which series will get the biggest fall campaigns after the "upfronts" in May, when they preview new shows for advertisers.

However, the writers strike disrupted the pilot-development season. As a consequence, the networks have only 17 new shows slated for fall - far fewer than unusual.

Some new shows haven't had pilots shot, meaning there are no clips to sample for the ad campaign. Other shows coming into their second season have been off the air for a full year now, meaning everyone has forgotten about them. To overcome these problems—and the lack of new shows, period—networks are getting creative. That means annoying the citizens of New York City:

For "Crusoe," a new adventure based on the Daniel Defoe novel, the network will go so far as to strand a real-life Crusoe somewhere in New York and broadcast his travails online.

[NYP]

Real Men Eat Brains

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 16:35:14 EDT

Ha, Wendy's is being humorous with its new "Meatatarians" ad campaign, cause it's like, fuck vegetables, eat cows! "Our goal is to continue our dominance atop the food chain," reads the website, which has no content except a box for Meatatarians to sign up for mass emails from Wendy's. You won't see any cows signing up. Now who's smart?

The Mock Cover

Nick Denton — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 15:52:42 EDT

The spoof cover is an increasingly popular way to establish a character. Witness the fake issue of Wired flashed on the screen during a video tribute to Iron Man's arms manufacturer, Robert Downey's character, Tony Stark. HBO rival Showtime has borrowed the technique to advertise the new season of their tentpole show, the serial-killer drama Dexter, sacrificing a little authenticity for branding impact: Dexter's name is rendered in the style of the Wired and Rolling Stone logos, but replaces the magazines' names. (One assumes these fake covers will run on the back pages of the respective magazines.) But our current favorite is the mini-issue at the back of the latest Advertising Age, a 16-page 1960s version of the ad trade mag designed to promote AMC's critically-acclaimed show Mad Men—and Initiative, the agency that organized the innovative campaign. A scan after the jump:

Hologram Ushers You Into Best Buy

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 15:49:58 EDT

Hm, how to grab shoppers' attention in the cavernous Mall of America, without having to pay some kid $7 an hour to stand there passing out fliers? A hologram man, sent from the future! It's only a matter of time now until Terminator-like robots patrol our nation's food courts, gesturing menacingly with their whirring appendages, their fixed gaze wordlessly urging you to check out the new Sears bathmat sale at the price of your life. For now, though: Best Buy employee holograms. Watch the ghostly salesman give his ever-repeating spiel, below:

Find more videos like this on AdGabber

[via Adrants]

Denied! Anon AA Ad Artist Slams Faux-Bam Culture Jam

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 12:50:06 EDT

So yesterday we posted what seemed to be a new work by the anonymous American Apparel ad spoofer—this one featuring Obama being menaced by a big dick, with the familiar slogan "The Assassination of Barack Obama" and an American Apparel logo. Then we heard that it might not be a work by the actual spoofer, which was confirmed by the spoofer's own blog, then confirmed again by Copyranter, who thinks the Obama piece is a Photoshop fake. Now the spoofer himself has sent us a statement, of sorts, saying he welcomes copycats as long as it's clear they're different copycats (and he's not a Dov Charney employee, thank you):

Hi Hamilton,

I am the "aa ads spoofer."

I am not the creator of the Obama poster you posted yesterday, and don't deserve the little fame it temporarily got. I never mix art and politics, the billboards in Tribeca have never inspired me, and I don't do use the Photoshop posterization filter. I gladly welcome copycats though, as long as people don't think it's my doing.

Also, to answer a floating question, my fake AA campaign is a personal project. American Apparel isn't behind this campaign, I don't work for them, I don't know them, and all I ever got from them is a pleasant mute tolerance...

I picked up AA essentially because their ads were sex-oriented, which was a good place to start. This work is about inspiration in art and advertising, and manipulation, if I get it right...

i'll be wrapping up the project in sept w/ a little showdown on stereohell.

[Disclaimer: To the extent we were able to check around, we're pretty sure this is the real spoofer. Although you never really know when it comes to spoofers.]

American Apparel Spoofer Porn-sassinates Obama

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 13:26:12 EDT

We have to say this for the porntastic anonymous American Apparel ad spoofer: he or she is just so god damn aware of the vagaries of pseudoculture that it is impossible not to admire his or her attention-getting sensibility. Unless, of course, this all turns out to be paid for by Dov Charney, in which case you can expect a very sternly worded rebuke from us. So watch out. Today, the personal (wear) becomes political; it's The Assassination of Barack Obama as imagined not by a publicity-seeking artist Yazmany Arboleda, but by publicity-seeking artist "anonymous spoofer." And of course a big dick is involved, for reasons we can't quite understand:

[UPDATE: Commenter Bell County points out the likely dick reference.]
[UPDATE 2: There is an unconfirmed rumor that this particular poster is not by the actual American Apparel spoofer.]

NBA Jerseys Are The New Imperialism

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 09:52:20 EDT

Hard to believe our nation's star athletes have time to go to the gym and practice jumpshots or whatever, what with all their marketing strategy meetings and reality shows and plotting to invade China like the second coming of opium. Sports stars and their sponsors have known for years that China is the market of the future—"If only 1% of Chinese buy our sneakers, that's $300 million more in revenue blah blah..." just like every other business in the world. But the Olympics have whet athletes' appetites even more. They want to rule China. The question is, why is China letting them do it?

The Olympics were an eye-opener to some foreign athletes visiting China. Hundreds of millions of Chinese tuned into the games on television, and Kobe Bryant, the popular Los Angeles Lakers player, was greeted everywhere he went in Beijing to chants of “Kobe! Kobe! Kobe!”

Sales of his National Basketball Association jersey — and those of eight other N.B.A. stars, including Mr. Wade — top even those of China’s own basketball giant, Yao Ming.

What's with this lack of xenophobia? America didn't come to be the world's economic powerhouse by buying up the jerseys of foreigners. One sports marketing executive in China says the whole business is "extremely imperial," which is rather impolitic considering the context. But he does hint at the psychological aspect of the issue: "Anyone who can’t be the emperor of basketball or the queen of tennis won’t make it.”

The Chinese better step up their own basketball and tennis games quickly, or they may risk funneling money out of their own country to support their own middle class' taste for foreign goods. Hey, that's what we do!

[NYT]

Dissidents In The West

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 09:13:26 EDT

Hey, Denver has its own angry ad blogger, like a minor league Copyranter! His take on shitty creative briefs: "There are the 'emotional/rational reasons to believe'...I’ve seen 'none' in that space." Heh. At least they're honest. [Denver Egotist]

This Girl Is Simply Eating Ramen, OK?

Sheila — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 16:42:07 EDT

Sigh. When we asked earlier about the upcoming book about ramen and love, a commenter asked if we were in fact referring to the Korean ramen commercial that's, um, shot from the point of view where it looks like the woman is giving a man oral pleasure. Why no, we weren't! But we dug up the video. She's just eating ramen noodles—get it? GET IT? (Basically SFW but who knows.)

Amanda Lepore Lends Bluetooth Her Breasts

Sheila — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 12:38:16 EDT

Transgender nightlife queen Amanda Lepore is inarguably awesome in her fabulous cartoonishness. Now the "My Pussy" singer is part of a Jawbone Bluetooth advertising campaign, which isn't so surprising when you consider she's also done advertisments for M.A.C. Cosmetics, Swatch, Armani and MTV. The ad appears in this week's New Yorker—is America ready? They sure as hell better get ready. In her words: "My pussy is famous; my pussy is expensive." [Copyranter]

Fantasies

Hamilton Nolan — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 11:45:33 EDT

An ad agency lets you destroy its old website with a gun of your choice. That's not bad. [via Adfreak]

Italy Pours Money Into Internet; Money Does Not Come Back

Hamilton Nolan — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 09:31:27 EDT

One good way to create a website is to pay a single agency just enough money to do the job, put them on a tight deadline, fact check the content, and then publish it. Easy! Many people who are incompetent in several vital areas of life—human interaction, for example—have nevertheless managed to start and run successful websites with few start up costs at all. But the nation of Italy decided, hey, why don't we do the opposite of all that, and see how much money we can burn through in pursuit of a conceptual online fiasco? So they did!

Italy wanted to build a website to market the nation to prospective tourists. The cost so far: $66 million over five years. And it doesn't even exist yet!

Among the problems: Too many cooks in the kitchen ("Several government ministries — in two administrations — and each of Italy's 20 regions were involved in creating the portal"), a product that went live in 2007 full of embarrassing errors, databases that weren't compatible with each other, and a logo purchased for $150,000 that was eventually discarded for sucking too much. A consultant tells the WSJ that the government could have had an agency complete the entire project by now for around 2% of what's been spent.

Try Blogspot.com, yo.

[WSJ]

Obama-Pepsi Investigation Quenches Desperate News Thirst

Ryan Tate — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 21:06:51 EDT

Michelle Obama is scheduled to speak at the Democratic Convention in about an hour. It's the first thing any reasonable number of people will care about at the big political show in Denver. When the speech ends, and talking head spin mode begins, everyone should remember the TV people are completely desperate to conjure news at the pointless, made-for-media convention. Here's some evidence, in the form of a CNN segment that seems to be hinting that Pepsi controls the Obama campaign and entire Democratic party, because of its logo.

Steve Stoute Is The Future

Hamilton Nolan — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 11:53:37 EDT

Steve Stoute is Jay-Z's partner in Translation Advertising, and specializes in connecting huge corporations to "urban" celebrities for ridiculous amounts of money. Such as R&B star Chris Brown's secret deal to make a song all about Wrigley's gum, but not tell anyone until after it was a #1 hit! "It's incredible that an artist was nominated for a Video of the Year with a Wrigley's jingle," says Stoute. Yes, quite. "And 'selling out' today, he adds, means creating inauthentic relationships between pop culture and product." Oh, I thought it meant "The Slogan On Steve Stoute's Business Card." [Adweek]

Ad Man's Diet Book: Hoax, Or Just Bad Idea?

Hamilton Nolan — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 11:16:40 EDT

When Alex Bogusky, the ad guru for Burger King and Domino's Pizza (among others), announced last week that he is publishing a diet book, the general reaction was, "Ha, hypocrite Whopper-seller." An alternate theory, though, is that the book is part of some elaborate hoax, or will turn out to be the peg for a new Bogusky ad campaign. But if it is, he's doing a good job keeping it a secret; Burger King and Domino's, the two fatty food-touting clients most obviously affected by the book, had to find out about it by reading a news story:

[A BK] executive familiar with the matter said the company had not authorized the book and that most within the company were blindsided when Creativity broke the news of its publication. Spokeswoman Heather Krasnow couldn't be reached for comment...

"It certainly seems like it should be a big deal to the corporation," said Burger King franchisee Chris Ondrula. "I guess I'd be surprised if the agency didn't take the first step of running it by the corporation." He added that given Crispin's prankish advertising, he was one of those who expected it would turn out to be a hoax.

Things that could turn out to be the case, ranked from "mildly annoying" to "hilarious":

1. The book is a stunt for a new ad campaign.
2. The book is really a book.
3. The book is really a book, and Bogusky's clients fire him for writing it.

[Ad Age]

Rafael Nadal: Mature In Neon

Hamilton Nolan — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 09:29:54 EDT

You thought that Rafael Nadal's pensive, shirtless pose on the back cover of New York magazine last week was just one more coup by the mag's upscale media trendsetters? Think again! Nadal himself—or, more accurately, his corporate overseer Nike—is in the midst of remaking his entire image, shifting it from that of a wild young ball-slinger to something "more mature" (and better able to sell polo shirts). The first casualty: his capri pants. Sorry, ladies:

Now, as Mr. Nadal sets his sights on the U.S. Open, the hunky rebel known for his muscle shirts, capri-length pants and bandanna will morph into more of a traditionalist, starting with his on-court wardrobe.The shift appears part of a larger strategy by Mr. Nadal's tight-knit management team to transform the sublime baseliner from a teenage heartthrob into a grown-up star.

Supposedly Nadal himself has now grown up and spontaneously decided to update his image. But he's "worked closely" with Nike designers to build himself a new wardrobe composed of polo shirts (with mesh side panels!) in "chlorine blue, orange blaze, white and concord [purple]." All at the expense of boring old has-been Roger Federer. Your move, Anna Wintour.

[WSJ]

Nike Lies About Demanding Hunt Of Chinese Critic

Ryan Tate — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 20:13:54 EDT

Someone is lying at Nike. The only question is who. The mystery surrounds how the shoe company approached the thuggish Chinese dictatorship over online rumors about an athlete it sponsors. No one disputes that Nike, which recently claimed its shoes have "become an icon of self-expression and a symbol of Democratic style," ran to the repressive regime in a snit. Someone claiming to be close to Nike had issued an anonymous Web post claiming the company forced Liu Xiang, pictured, to exit the games because he was unlikely to win. This echoed tampering allegations Nike also faced in Brazil. Does Nike want the poster hunted down and thrown in jail? Hunted down and unmasked, so he can be sued? Or simply handled by the Chinese government in whatever manner it feels appropriate? No one has any idea, because Nike keeps changing its story — and digging itself into a deeper hole.

The first version of events is the worst. Nike's initial statement was an email to French newswire AFP not only denying the rumor but adding (emphasis added in all quotes):

We have immediately asked relevant government departments to investigate those that started the rumour.

That line may have originated from European Nike spokesman Massimo Giunco, quoted in AFP's story.

Later, Britain's Guardian wrote of the investigation demand, "Nike is enlisting the services of a repressive regime to crush its enemies." Nike spokesman Charlie Brooks, far from denying anything, told the paper:

"This isn't about a debate on freedom of speech. It's simply helping us to identify the person who posted it.

Amid mounting criticism, Nike's Vada Manager emerged on the scene to rather pathetically try and launder the company's story, telling the Oregonian newspaper:

"We have no intention of tracking anyone down, or asking for any punishment." He said the company merely plans to file a complaint with Chinese authorities concerning the Web post.

...Manager told The Oregonian... the shoe giant has not asked the Chinese government to find out who posted "malicious rumours" about it on the Internet.

So, to recap: On Tuesday Nike said it asked the government to "investigate" its online critic. On Wednesday Nike's Charlie Brooks said the request was about "helping us to identify the person who posted" the rumor. But by the end of Friday, Nike's Vada Manager was claiming "we have no intention of tracking anyone down" and that it has not asked the government to do so.

These statements are mutually exclusive. Someone at Nike is lying about the company's response and intentions, creating the appearance of a coverup. Yet it's not a very good one, since all stories involve complaining to the Chinese government about free expression on the internet.

Nike is now, on several levels, in a worse public relations position than when rumors first emerged it manhandled its own athlete.

One, it seems to be putting the financial value of its brand over the physical freedom of an internet poster who is, at worst, a random rumormongering conspiracy theorist.

Two, strong-arming a critic and lying about it just adds credence to the theory Nike strong-armed its athlete and lied about it. Unwise.

A global marketing executive for Chinese company Lenovo reminded Nike on his personal blog this weekend that "a big rule in community relations [is], don’t ask the Chinese government to go fish for the identity of someone posting bullshit about your brand." Nike's PR executives should all commit that modern proverb to memory.

Putting Stuff In Blender: Cool, But May Not Accomplish Business Objectives

Hamilton Nolan — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 11:44:24 EDT

Have you seen any of those dozens of YouTube videos where a dude in a lab coat puts random things in a blender and proves that, yes, they will blend? It's a successful viral advertising project! So successful that the company claims that "sales have risen 600% since the videos started." The Times points out that most of the company's customer base is commercial, so it's highly unlikely the videos themselves are the reason for the increase. Still, this god damn blender company, of all things, is savvy enough to team up with AT&T to blend an iPhone, and to get itself into the top search results for "Chuck Norris" by blending an action figure, so you have to give them some props, ridiculous though their strategy is. After the jump, watch pop culture things blend for murky reasons:

American Apparel Ad Spoofer Strikes The Heart Of The Beast

Hamilton Nolan — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 16:24:53 EDT

The anonymous, sex-positive American Apparel ad spoofer's latest conquest: the windows and front door of an upcoming Soho American Apparel store. Verily, our wayward artist has decided to strike Dov Charney right where he lives. Is this further evidence that the spoofer might be in cahoots with the company—the manifestation of the CEO's inner desire for ads unfettered by his dreary clothing? It's time to reveal yourself, poster-person. Click through to see the, um, seductive (?) re-imagining of the store's entrance:

[Stereo Hell via Copyranter at Animal]

Making China Fat Via The Olympics

Ryan Tate — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 01:40:34 EDT

The Olympic Games have long promoted more than the amateur athletic spirit. Sponsors this year sell pharmaceuticals, laptop computers and luxury watches, among other things, mostly to consumers outside of China. But there's something particularly sad about the way the games have been co-opted to push sugary treats inside the host country. Mars Inc., for example, used street sports events and other Olympic gimmicks to help grow sales of Snickers bars 75 percent in China this year, the Wall Street Journal reports for today's paper. Then there's Coke, which spread its tooth-eroding product into China's impoverished, soda-deprived rural provinces by attaching itself to the Olympic torch relay. That and some other local uses of Coke's $400 million in global Olympic advertising helped erode Pepsi's lead in China, the Journal reported on its front page Tuesday. Both Mars and Coke seem oblivious to the moral issues raised by their campaigns amid heightened scrutiny, in the U.S. at least, of obesity-linked products. If they're not more careful, American sugar purveyors may find themselves shackled in the fashion of cigarette makers. After the jump, a look at a scene from Mad Men, in which tobacco executives begin to grapple with the regulatory noose begin to close around their own advertising in the early 1960s.

"An Extraordinary Nutsnack"

Ryan Tate — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 23:27:08 EDT

This advertisement has been making the rounds among marketing and advertising types this summer. The ending slogan is so obviously ill-advised that one can't help but wonder if it's viral marketing, but perhaps not: Frito Lay's people have been keeping a straight face about the campaign in the trades, and apparently they've redeployed a version of the ad with the embarrassing ending snipped off. Is it the "worst ad bungle in history," as our tipster wonders? Perhaps, but something tells us someone else is going to take it on the chin at least as bad. Pushing nuts is tricky like that.

Microsoft: Saving Itself With Celebrities Galore?

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 14:56:08 EDT

This morning we learned that Microsoft had selected the $10 million spokesman to revive its uncool brand: Vintage Mac aficionado Jerry Seinfeld. The collective response could be summed up as, "Really, him?" But Seinfeld may be just be one small part of the Microsoft coolness project! Fishbowl LA is reporting that the company's ad wizard and diet book author Alex Bogusky is considering lots of other celebrities for the campaign to help convince you that Vista is a smart buy. The (real) list of those purportedly under consideration:

Vagina-touting comedian Sarah Silverman!

Weed-burning singer Willie Nelson!

Motorcycle-riding person Travis Pastrana!

Laid-back actor of sorts Matthew McConaughey!

Hopeless politico Ralph Nader!

Mockery specialists Rob Cordrry and Stephen Colbert!

Deceased jokester Bernie Mac!

Sounds like a fine plan.

[Tina Dupuy at FBLA]

The Rich History of Negative Campaign Ads

Pareene — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 14:25:59 EDT

Congratulations to Barack Obama for finally running a no-holds-barred attack ad against John McCain. It's a masterpiece of the genre (the "more in sorrow than in fearmongering" attack), taking one odd biographical detail as proof of mendacity, with a touch of underhanded smear thrown in. You are poor and broke and the bank is taking away your house, but John McCain? He is so old he doesn't remember how many houses he has! (Narrator: "It's seven. Seven houses.") It's a fun little number. But as you watch our above compilation of some of our favorite attack ads of the last forty-odd years, well, you may notice that no modern candidate can touch the '60s for mean-spirited spite. LBJ will cut you to win reelection. Click to see the compilation, and Obama's modern attempt at the genre is below.

In McCain's defense, we'd have six more houses too if our first one was this garish. (And OMG that sweater!)

Do Not Think About What This McDonald's Ad Could Imply

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 14:17:20 EDT

Fast food is essentially made up of low-quality byproducts of better food. Leftover cow parts, ground pig parts... you can use your imagination. So it's best for fast food companies to stick with happy clowns and assorted other mascots in their ads, staying as far as possible from any image that could make you consider what's actually in the food you're buying. And they should especially make sure they never draw any parallels between their product and human flesh. I mean, yuck. So tell us, McDonald's, what went wrong here?:

[Copyranter]

Making Actresses Even More Fake

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 13:20:50 EDT

This video is a sales pitch demo for Image Metrics, a digital animation firm. Notice anything strange? The actress is a fake. Her face is computer-generated. She's a digital freak. Would you have known if we didn't tell you? No, you would have tried to ask her out for a drink later on. The point is, soon all actors will be unemployed. Click to watch the vanguard of your pixellated overlords. [via Adrants]

The Shame Of A Donald Trump Infomercial

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 12:19:27 EDT

Is there a word for that movement that fake rich guy Donald Trump makes when he kind of sneers a little bit and jerks his head spasmodically to the side, in an evil remix version of the "what can I say?" shrug? Let's call it a Derk (Donald Jerk). It's on full display in this infomercial clip, which may be the most perfect distillation I've ever seen of both the humiliation of appearing in an infomercial, and Donald Trump's fundamental asshole nature. This actress actually gets choked up simply by being in his regal, sneering presence. What can he do except pull a Derk? It sends the message, "You know, I'm the biggest prick in the whole world." But she likes it baby, yea:

[Videogum]

Matt Damon Talks Like Girl To End Poverty

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 10:59:23 EDT

ONE is the big, vague, utopian project to fight poverty with a nice website and Livestrong-type bracelet sales. They do other things too, I'm sure. It's comparable to Al Gore's effort to end global warming with star power and earnest ads. But ONE has better ads, because they're slightly less earnest. The latest, out today, reveals Matt Damon's true inner femininity:

Minority Report-Style Ads Coming To Life

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 09:28:25 EDT

When the "Tom Cruise in the future" movie Minority Report came out in 2002, everybody got all googly-moogly over the futuristic ad technology that recognized people's faces and tailored ads directly to them, instantly, as they walked through stores. Well slowly but surely that's all becoming a reality! The wonders of living in the future. Retailers are working on all types of technologies to "serve up ads based on the consumer's appearance." Hey, ugly: check it out!

Dunkin Donuts is putting ad screens on its checkout and pickup areas telling you to buy things and come back soon, respectively. Some stores are sticking video screens on the shelves, which flash ads at you based on what item you pick up off the shelf. Which seems like it would quickly get annoying. But the creepiest is the effort to read your face:

The company powering the screens for Dunkin', YCD Multimedia, is in the midst of deploying facial-recognition technologies that can classify people into certain demographic groups by identifying their approximate age and their sex.

Companies in the securities industries have been experimenting with facial-recognition technologies for some time. The technology often works by capturing an image of a person and using sophisticated algorithms to analyze features like the size and shape of the nose, eyes, cheekbones and jaw line — against databases of face information.

Hopefully you think this was cool in a good way:

[Excellent story by Emily Steel in the WSJ]