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TheSometimesWhy
11/25/09

In reply to How to Deal With Teens
You know what slays me? How when people read about stories like this they immediately let loose with some riff on how "kids today are fucked and here's why..." I have some serious news for you: kids today are no different than from any age in which you or I come from. One of the reasons you're seeing a bumper crop of teenage witches, pre-adolescent bitches, and warlocks seemingly weened on the Grand Tit of Belligerence is because the art of parenting is dead and gone. They have joined the endangered species list. Why? Because they refuse to grow up themselves, to take the reins of parental authority they are duty-bound to grip but loath to accept because to do so ages them by implication. There is nothing "hot" about being an authority figure in their jaundiced eyes. So they try to be their kids' friends, and what you're seeing is the direct outgrowth of that approach. It is a recipe for disaster, tweaked to a T...

Their only defense? The shit-farm we call a culture here in the United States. What are these kids nursed on when it comes to cultural values, so that no matter what good-faith effort a beleaguered parent makes, they are riding into a stiff headwind? Reality TV, Extreme Anything, and the blind hope that some day you may get to make a sex tape that is bought by TMZ. The American Dream has become a national nocturnal emission, replete with a cold and scuzzy residue that no amount of turning away will relieve.

Or not.
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skahammer
11/25/09

@TheSometimesWhy: OK, maybe I'm just dumb but I'll take your bait here: How do you know so much about parents' goals, and how often those goals include becoming their kids' "friends"?

I would consider that statement extremely hard to substantiate -- what parent is going to admit to it? Thus you're left with what you've observed about parenting...95% of which takes place behind closed doors.

So your statement probably has meaning only to the extent that you've shared living quarters with a large and representative sample of families. And if that's really what you're claiming you've done, then I'm quite interested to know more details.
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TheSometimesWhy
11/25/09

@skahammer: Dear Ska, There is no bait in my post. I am a witness to what I see. A blind dead guy would see as much. Without boring you with details, let's just say I "work with the public" from a vantage point that allows me to view many parents and their progeny in a situation in which that dynamic is (or at least should be) in clear focus. And what I see chills me. To say there has been a cultural abdication of the role that parenting requires is to me almost a rank understatement.

There are too many tentacles to this octopus to go into here. The fact that a parent can't or won't admit what I observe of their behavior doesn't absolve them of it. And you may claim that the fact that I observe this behavior in them doesn't necessarily make it so, either, but I have one thing you don't--stark circumstantial evidence that nobody's home, literally and figuratively, these days when it comes to performing the tasks that a parent is charged with.

Things like disciplining a child, socializing them, helping them understand that when they are out in public, there is a different standard of conduct they are held to, because, guess what? Society requires it. And when that standard isn't met, society is diminished. It literally unravels.

Maybe you don't see any of the signs I am referring to. Then again, maybe you live on another planet and ride a unicorn. But because you doubt me, next time you're out and about, look around for a family that functions as it should: one where the members are loving, respectful, engaged by each other, and act like members of a group that recognizes itself by the way they act. Then maintain that vigil, and see how long it is between the time you saw the first group that met that standard and the time you noticed the second one.

Best of luck.

#tips
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skahammer
11/25/09

@TheSometimesWhy: Okay, but it'll have to be next week -- my unicorn's in the shop.
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TheSometimesWhy
11/25/09

@skahammer: Make sure you take the extended warranty, should they offer it.

#tips
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skahammer
11/25/09

@TheSometimesWhy: Now come on, there's no need to get nasty all of a sudden.
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TheSometimesWhy
11/25/09

@skahammer: What? It's standard on the '09 model.

#tips
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TheSometimesWhy
11/24/09

In reply to How to Deal With Teens
Gertrude Stein had it right--they're all a lost generation...
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Tremonius
11/24/09

@TheSometimesWhy: Yeah, but she was meaning that mechanic's helper on the Isle de la Cite who wasn't there because of the war he'd just returned from, and that's why they're lost, according to the shop owner. They never were civilized. Civilization is a three-step process. Papa described it as Devout as choir boys, then Cynical as night club owners, then returning to Devout through Cynicism, like a loose canon. If you're in war, then you never ever doubt your early rejection of civilization. And you never see the sense of spending your day working on a strange lady's Ford.

Everybody except Basket is over 13 in the works of Gertrude Stein.

No, not a spelling error.
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TheSometimesWhy
11/24/09

@Tremonius: I concur wholeheartedly, Tremmie, but for the fact that the Gertrude Stein I was referencing was a character in an episode of the old Gomer Pyle TV show. Gomer and his buddy were off on a three-day furlough when they tried to hitch a ride into town with the Sarge. Not surprisingly, hilarity and high jinks ensued. Gertie (as she was known in that episode) was a cabaret singer at the PX on base, doling out witticisms as potent as the hooch in her glass.

But I digress...

I do appreciate what has to be the most literate response to something I have ever said here at Gawker. Truth to tell, you have now shamed me into going back to get my PhD, which will no doubt enable me to comprehend the full scope of your insights.

Gracie mille!

#tips
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Tremonius
11/25/09

@TheSometimesWhy: I sure appreciate the flattery, but neither my odd notions nor me myself are known inhabitants of any classroom. There are about five possible sources for Dialectical Doo-Wah, but really they're more endemic than acadmic, and more anemic than either.

#tips
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TheSometimesWhy
11/25/09

@Tremonius: I couldn't have said it better. Really.

#tips
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AngriestGeek
11/24/09

In reply to How to Deal With Teens
Aside from normal teenage crap, she's probably acting out anger over the divorce, but if he thinks she's a problem now, "giving up" and "leaving her alone" will only result in ten times the problem in the upcoming years---though it will get a lot of middle-aged men laid as she works out her issues through college and into her 20's.
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morninggloria
11/24/09

In reply to How to Deal With Teens
This girl sounds like she's got a really promising career as a cast member of Rock of Love or a high school English teacher who goes on to get caught fornicating with her students.
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skahammer
11/25/09

@morninggloria: I see someone's been ruminating about the road not taken, lately.
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AzureTexan
11/24/09

In reply to How to Deal With Teens
He could always sell her to the circus.

(Don't laugh. Notwithstanding that little episode with Knute the Knife Thrower, the Bearded Lady and I have been very happy together.)
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Conchie Birdie
11/24/09

In reply to How to Deal With Teens
Ask Alec Baldwin. - Wouldn't that be a great advice column? I know I'd read it.
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senatormayer
11/24/09

@Conchie Birdie: I could only wish Alec Baldwin was my daddy......
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m4ximusprim3
11/24/09

In reply to How to Deal With Teens
Send her a care package with condoms and a Glock and call her in 5 years.

If she answers, you've done a good job.
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manchops
11/24/09

In reply to How to Deal With Teens
I highly recommend this link on the onion, possibly one of the best things they did: "Group of popular girls reduce nation to tears!"

[www.theonion.com]
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Trulymadlyme
11/24/09

In reply to How to Deal With Teens
Man. Teenagers are such assholes sometimes.
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TabithaIapetus
11/24/09

@Trulymadlyme: Sometimes?!
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Richard Petty Bourgeoisie
11/24/09

In reply to How to Deal With Teens
DO NOT call her a "pig" unless you're sure you're not being taped.
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Tremonius
11/24/09

@Richard Petty Bourgeoisie: Right. And you should expect that, if you are at least normally alert, if you leave a message on an answering machine.
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cassandra
11/09/09

In reply to We Must Save The New York Post
In retrospect, the Posties should have been worried when they started giving away free copies of the Post with the Journal. If your parent company decides you are worth zero, that's when trouble starts. #newyorkpost
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DTurkin
11/09/09

In reply to We Must Save The New York Post
Obviously now that Murdoch has a new toy (WSJ) he has grown bored of his old stuff.

Good riddance (although I won't hold my breath just yet). #newyorkpost
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cassandra
11/09/09

@DTurkin: Nothing he owns makes money, basically. He's like a gardener that pours so much fertilizer on plants that they die. #newyorkpost
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BettyCrocker
11/09/09

In reply to We Must Save The New York Post
Andrea The Boner Slayer #newyorkpost
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flugennock
11/09/09

In reply to We Must Save The New York Post
Hell, you want a real voice of opposition, you need a loud-assed, smart-mouthed left-wing rag -- and I mean a real left-wing rag, not like Mother Jones. (spit) I mean, c'mon; if you really think the New York Times is a Leftie paper, you've been living under a rock, like those goddamn' Tea Party assholes.

Seriously, all we've got is The Nation. That goddamn' self-serious tome bores the living piss out of me. And they don't even have a friggin' sports page, f'cripesake. I'd love a Leftie version of the New York Post. They're a nasty, rightist screed, for sure, but I love their attitude.

Didn't you all used to have a nice, loud, smartassed Leftie tabloid up there, long ago -- what was it called, PM, or something? #newyorkpost
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HurtsSoGood
11/09/09

@flugennock: What about the Village Voice? #newyorkpost
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BadUncle
11/09/09

In reply to We Must Save The New York Post
When the post is reduced to a hotel room freebie, Col Allan will be promoted to even higher ranks. This is the Newscorp way. #newyorkpost
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