Gawker: Africa

Page Six Mag: African Suffering Is Trendy. Hey Look, Diamonds!

Hamilton Nolan — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 10:19:50 EDT

Page Six Magazine's Kelly Killoren Bensimon, your source for both trendsetting woman-about-town news and the latest dispatches from poverty-ravaged Africa, unspins the saga of her almost-trip to the Third World in her column this past weekend: "Last week I was supposed to go to South Africa with the group CC Africa, which has arranged safaris for Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt in the past. I was very excited to go—I was going to help open a school there—but I missed my flight by 10 minutes!" OMG OMG what happens next? The answer will sadden you, shock you, and make you despair for the future of Africa and New York high society alike:

[via EV Grieve]

Woman Of Questionable Sanity Stops Traffic For AIDS

Hamilton Nolan — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 13:47:42 EDT

Were you stopped in traffic in SoHo yesterday? You can thank Suzanne "Africa" Engo! But she had a good reason: she was stopping AIDS! How the hell was she doing that? We're not quite sure ourselves, but it involved $5,000 in (RED) Products, a 48-pound weight loss, and fabulous socialite Kristian Laliberte. We'll try to sort out the reasoning behind this insane and pointless self promotional stunt/ noble good cause for you, after the jump.

A hastily written and rambling press release from none other than Suzanne "Africa" Engo herself explains the situation:

Activist and THINK MTV Cause Celebrity Blogger/ Producer Suzanne "Africa" Engo spontaneously stopped traffic in Soho on Prince Street in New York Last Night with a GMHC STOP SIGN that read HIV AIDS ATTENTION NEEDED. Coming from a Kipton Art/ Kristian Laliberte Opening where a painting of gal pal and socialite/actress Annabel Vartanian donated money to GMHC. Engo was head to toe in product (red) and apparently on her way to the 100th Anniversary Party of Converse - A product (red) company. Engo was the first in New York to purchase all of the product (red) products mimicking the Oprah Winfrey Stunt in a spree totaling upwards of $5000 as a sign of her support to the brand founders. " I only stopped traffic and that's nothing, watch us stop AIDS, and no this isn't a shirt, it's scarf darling I am African I can tie this a thousand ways." Engo said shivering. The activist is currently on a binge to loose 120 lbs to draw attention to the fight against AIDS. " I lost 48lbs since January and I just want to have the energy to keep fighting, I'm gonna do a weigh in at the UNITED NATIONS around World AIDS Day"

Makes perfect sense! Just who is this selfless activist? According to a (likely self-written) Wikipedia entry, she's the founder of the New York AIDS Film Festival, as well as a relentless name-dropper. And one of only three people listed under Wikipedia's list of "Cameroonian Philanthropists!" Quite an honor. We yearn to know more about her important work! Suzanne "Africa" Engo, please send us a lengthy letter on your personal philosophy at once! The drivers of SoHo thank you.

And here's another picture she included, for some reason!

White Public Radio Announcer's Burden

rebecca — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 17:27:38 EST

NPR newscaster Jean Cochhran recently described President Bush's trip to Africa as a visit to the "dark continent." Some NPR listeners took the retro phrase the wrong (read: racist) way, and, as they are predisposed to do, wrote in."I had no idea the term would be found offensive," Cochhran said. Yeah, there's a no reason a term that casts and entire continent of people as the Other should bother anyone. [NPR]

"They Don't Have The Brains to Run It"

Nick Denton — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 14:47:04 EST

One of the few places on earth where the dollar actually goes further than it did at the start of the year: South Africa, where the rand is down 12% against the US currency. The mines, the country's main export earner, had to shut for five days last month because the state electricity company hasn't been investing in new generators, explains Bloomberg News. To the white technocrats who used to run the country, this is evidence of course that an incompetent black-led government has ruined South Africa. That couldn't be what Bloomberg's famously insensitive editor-in-chief, Matthew Winkler, meant, could it? According to the wire service grapevine, Winkler briefed his reporters: "South Africa is a great place, but the people who are running it don't have the brains to run it." Which is pretty much what one could say about Bloomberg, a fabulously profitable company with management so dysfunctional that employees refer to their workplace not-altogether-jokingly to Doomberg. (Related: one of Winkler's acolytes asks after the catastrophic Asian tsunami: Why do we care? And here's the now-notorious audio clip of Winkler ranting at his staff after a reporter made an error.) After the jump, Winkler, aka the deranged bowtie after his trademark dorkwear, shows how to tie one in a classic Youtube clip.

Miss America Pageant Tries But Fails To Humiliate Contestants

Nick Douglas — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 13:44:47 EST

To kick up falling ratings, the Miss America Pageant is running a four-part reality show leading up to the Saturday event as part of reinventing the brand as edgy and modern. The series includes a game show, "Are You Smarter Than a Miss USA Girl?" which the AP notes "failed to produce a YouTube moment." Lucky for the contestants, who worked their way up the pageant train only to be compared to Britney and Paris by their own judges and producers. At least any public failure by them will make us uglies feel better, but it ruins the fun to know that's what Miss America wants. Below, a clip of contestants failing at boring trivia questions and, as "punishment," jumping into a pool. And then some Project Runway for a cleanser, because if the Miss America people really want to compete with reality TV, maybe they should watch some.

Miss America: Cheesy trivia-swimsuit game show

Project Runway: "Die of Barfness"

Dave Eggers Is Still Concerned About Africa!

marypilon — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 10:40:05 EST

"I'm here to see Dave Eggers."

"..."

"What is the What?"

"What?"

And so began my amazing night with Dave Eggers.

Okay, so it wasn't exactly a candlelit dinner (if ONLY), but I did get a front row seat last night when he spoke at NYU's Center for Global Affairs.

He was plugging "What is the What," his last-year's novel about the Lost Boys of Sudan. I knew his velocity. He was heartbreaking, staggering and yes, genius (or penis).

Apparently—you may be surprised—the news from Africa sucks. And we still suck for not doing enough. You may click here for more info.

Foreign Affairs editor Gideon Rose was on hand to interview Eggers and one of the Lost Boys (but not the one featured in the book) named Abraham. Eggers and Abraham were far more eloquent than Rose, who wouldn't shut up about his opinions of Judaism and also was really into rereading passages of Eggers' books when we all knew that Eggers' velvet voice would do it more justice. Rose even read the last paragraph of the book when he knew that nearly half of the audience hadn't finished it. Okay, so that's clearly not as bad as ethnic cleansing, but he's still a dick.

Genocide aside, here are the unsurprising details about Eggers that I could gather:

He's a Mac user (hipsterous maximus).

His password has 8 or 9 characters (any guesses on what it could be???).

He totes a Moleskine, which undoubtedly is packed with pictures of staplers, witty reinventions of dialogue and unintelligible footnotes.

He was wearing brown shoes, the heel of the right shoe was held together with what looked like black electrical tape.

He had a few gray hairs, but totally in that hot George Clooney way.

He fiddled with a Uniball pen for over an hour, but it was ultimately endearing.

To write dialogue in his books, he has to have it on tape.

He signed books FOREVER and spoke cheerfully with his hordes of oh-so-worldlytrendyinterestingwellread fans. He seemed—!!!—genuinely interested in what they had to say.

I know he's poor, married with a kid, blah blah blah, but he knows where to find me.

Mad Professor Says One Billion Africans Will Die!

Choire — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 16:10:33 EST

Sub-Saharan Africa had between 1.4 and 2.4 million new HIV infections in the last year, according to the most recent UNAIDS report—back in 2001, new infections were higher, between 1.7 and 2.7 million. HIV prevalence in adults is estimated at 5% in sub-Saharan Africa, down from its almost-6% estimate in 2000. That's one reason why there's something really, really odd about the conclusion of Michael Specter's fascinating piece on viruses in the New Yorker.

[U of C Irvine's Center for Virus Research director Luis P.] Villarreal predicts that, without an effective AIDS vaccine, nearly the entire population of Africa will eventually perish. "We can also expect at least a few humans to survive,'' he wrote. They would be people who have been infected with H.I.V. yet, for some reason, do not get sick. "These survivors would thus be left to repopulate the continent. However, the resulting human population would be distinct" from those whom H.I.V. makes sick.

The entire population??? Well, "eventually" can be a very long time, as it would be in the context of evolution. But that "eventually" in that case is tied to a lack of an AIDS vaccine. And while there are 2 million AIDS deaths or so a year in Africa, there are more than 10 times as many births. Even though population growth rate is projected to slow radically, Africa does have nearly a population of one billion people. (Well, 920 million or some such?) I spent 5 minutes with a calculator and didn't get very far—is there anyone more math-friendly who can "eventually" get a "zero" population figure on Africa?

'Vanity Fair' Wants You To Love Diamonds And Africa

Doree Shafrir — Thu, 14 Jun 2007 13:40:10 EDT

A correspondent from the UK notes that this month's Bono-produced pro-Africa issue comes bundled with a separate 74-page magazine devoted to diamonds and other "jewellery." (Click to enlarge.) It appears to be a UK exclusive.

Our foreign friend writes:

The entire issue is based on Africa - raising awareness and tolerance and all of those good things. However, bundled with the mag was a whole other magazine devoted to diamonds. Correct me if I'm wrong here, but aren't diamonds a major cause of trouble in Africa?

Advertisers include Cartier, Chopard, Harry Winston, Asprey, Bulgari, Sotheby's Diamonds (if they're vintage, they're cruelty-free?), and Tiffany. Nestled in the middle of the mag is a "token three-page insert about ethical gems," our tipster sniffs. Tactless, or a move of marketing genius? Guilt and pleasure all wrapped into one glossy package!

Celebrities Almost Make Africa Interesting Again

abalk — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 15:00:23 EDT

Hey, so the Vanity Fair Africa issue hit newsstands today! Guest-edited by Bono! We rushed out to get our copy and brought it to the office where we realized that, you know, we're kind of shallow. Isn't Africa kind of last fall? We don't have the attention spans for that stuff. You know what we do care about, though? Celebrities! And with twenty different celebrity-studded covers, the magazine kept up involved for a good five minutes looking at the Annie Leibovitz compositions. Each one blends one subject from the previous cover, so you've got your Don Cheadle and Barack Obama giving way to Barack and Muhammad Ali. Here's a handy guide to who you'll want to look for at the newsstand.

Ali joins Queen Rania of Jordan, Queen Rania is paired with Bono, Bono stares at the back of Condoleezza Rice's neck, Condi is almost edged out of the picture by George W. Bush, Bush observes Bishop Desmond Tutu at prayer, Tutu stands behind a seated Brad Pitt (you'd think the dude would have offered the elderly bishop the chair), Pitt bros it up with Djimon Hounsou, who scopes out Madonna's rack. Madonna whispers something in Maya Angelou's ear, Angelou looks disapprovingly at Chris Rock, Rock tweaks Warren Buffett's ear (Africa=ears, apparently), Warren puts a calm hand on Bill and Melinda Gates, the Gateses flank Oprah, who whispers something to George Clooney (seriously, there's some kind of ear fetish here, because Clooney does the same thing to Jay-Z). Hova stands next to Alicia Keys, Keys poses with Iman, and Iman whispers to Don Cheadle, who you'll remember from his earlier appearance with Barack Obama. Whew! Caring about another continent takes a lot out of you!

Vanity Fair

Bono-edited issue of Vanity Fair to have ...

abalk — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 09:20:27 EDT

Bono-edited issue of Vanity Fair to have different covers featuring every single resident of Africa. [WWD]

Bono And Graydon Carter: 'Tout Of Africa'

abalk2 — Mon, 05 Mar 2007 10:31:08 EST

"I'm just saying, it seems like a lot of money for mac-and-cheese."
Wow, the plight of Africa must really be important: Graydon Carter, who rarely produces theme issues or hobnobs with celebrities, has turned over editing duties for the July issue of Vanity Fair (although, let's be honest, it's not like he does a ton of editing in the first place) to Bono, an Irish musician who is on something of a mission to reduce poverty on that continent. David Carr profiles the odd couple in today's Times, and there are shocks a-plenty.

Bono can be somewhat humorless about using his celebrity to promote a cause, while Carter sees an opportunity to engage in all sorts of cover gimmickry. Bono, a co-owner of Forbes magazine, (but don't ask him about it, he gets kind of testy) has edited before, and he plans to wield a sharp scythe on the issue's stories. Carr provides one of the more helpful explanations we've experienced recently:

"I want this issue to be a best-selling issue of Vanity Fair, I want to make a hit record. These are the best writers in America, but I am a devotee of the 45," he said, referring to the predigital single that required economy and precision.

So that's what a 45 was! Thus concludes your dispatch from the country of old men.

Citizen Bono Brings Africa to Idle Rich [NYT]
Earlier: Bono Writes and Edits Newspaper: Can't Be Any Worse Than "Million Dollar Hotel"
'Forbes', The Pensions Stripped Bare, What Does Bono Care?
[Image: Annie Leibovitz]

Kaavya Viswanathan Continues To Rehabilitate Image

Emily Gould — Wed, 01 Nov 2006 16:05:50 EST

For the two of you who still care what America's favorite ~~YA author~~ copykitten has been up to lately, this video finds her on the Dark Continent. Watch for the scenic shots of wildlife, the glamor shot of a windswept Kaavya listening to her ipod and looking bored in a Jeep, and the money shot of the text that asks if we're "tired of seeing the same images again and again."
Ahh, that's our Kaavya. Ever questing for originality.

Earlier: Gawker's Coverage of Kaavya Viswanathan

Gossip Roundup: Kate Hudson Rides the Butterscotch Stallion

Jessica — Wed, 16 Aug 2006 14:00:58 EDT

• Actress Kate Hudson didn't separate from Black Crowe husband Chris Robinson because he's a crunchy dirtman and she's, well, Kate Hudson. Us Weekly reports that Hudson's affair with Owen Wilson led to the split — once you climb on the Stallion, there's no climbing off. [Us Weekly]
• Damn the man: the IRS pushes to tax celebrity swag bags. [TMZ]
• Africa is hot! Rapper Eve ends her relationship with the son of the president of Equatorial Guinea, where citizens live on $1 a day, at the urging of Sunday Styles. [R&M]
• Blind item guessing game: "Which major magazine executive probably isn't hungry when he goes home to his wife, since he's having Chinese at the office??" Send in your guesses if you've got 'em. [Gatecrasher (last item)]
• 57-year-old actor Bruno Kirby died yesterday. He had been recently diagnosed with leukemia. Honor him tonight by ordering the Shrek doll episode of Entourage on HBO On Demand. [People]
• After 63 years of ongoing renevations to her W. 71st Street townhouse, Ann Curry's neighbors are suing her for over $900,000 because of the constant noise and disruption. Does that mean we can sue NBC? Because whenever Curry is on the screen, we feel a little disrupted, too. [Page Six]
• Justin Timberlake isn't signing up for the Soul Patrol anytime soon. [Scoop]
• Joey Buttafuoco shops a book proposal. Written in crayon. [Page Six]