Showing the sort of bright and sunny leadership that has makes his brother Rahm such an uplifting presence, William Morris-Endeavor chief Ari Emanuel bucked up his troops this week with a poignant reminder that things have sucked for showbiz before.

Two of the largest, most storied baby-eating factories talent agencies in the world are merging. But sometimes, in order to birth a monster, the assistants must suffer. We have a few firsthand accounts.

· In a defection sure to cause at least one WMA partner to disembowel their assistant, then themselves, with the nearest People's Choice Award, Ellen Page has left the agency for Endeavor's Ariesque embrace. All-purpose power-lesbian Kelly Bush will continue to oversee management and publicity duties. [Variety]
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