Boing Boing came across this recent video of Franken drawing all 48 states (of the continental U.S., geography nerds) from memory at the Minnesota State Fair, and ever the paranoid types, wondered if Franken is faking it: "it would be easy to create indented trace-lines by using a pen with no cartridge in advance." Doubtful given how long and how often Franken's been doing this trick.

The first time I saw Franken draw his map was on Saturday Night Live when he was analyzing presidential election results (I think 1988?) but I can't find a video of it online. But there is a Youtube clip from 1987 of Franken on Letterman drawing his map in under 2 minutes (he starts at about the 7:30 mark). It doesn't look like his technique has changed much since, aside from now adding in Hawaii and Alaska.

Apparently, he did his map-drawing trick regularly at fundraisers during his Senate campaign. Last July, map blog The Map Room posted a video from 2007 and Daily Kos has some pictures from August of last year. Leave it to the U.S. Senate's greatest hope for (intentional) comedy to only give us his wonkiest, two-decade old joke.

This is like the "I went to a fight and a hockey game broke out" of health care town hall viral videos. According to the videographer/blogger, a dozen teabaggers staked out Al Franken's booth at the Great Minnesota Get-Together ready to boo and hiss and shout "socialism!" and all of those things that they have been doing, everywhere.

But these are Minnesota teabaggers. They may be all ginned up with outrage, but these are people who've been conditioned for generations to listen politely to literally anyone talking to them. So, you know, Al Franken, who is actually a smart, wonky guy who loves talking about the specifics of policy, explains some stuff, and the teabaggers reveal concerns slightly more complex and reality-grounded than "DEATH PANELS HITLER," and everyone learns something.

Specifically everyone learns that reasoned debate is booooooooorrrrring. You will never ever see any of this clip on Fox, unless they can somehow edit it to make it look like Franken started crying or something.

[Via AMC, who is guest-hosting Maddow today barring the unexpected 4:30 pm death of Gabe Kaplan.]

Teenage Wizard Movie has jumped to the $100 million mark in the worldwide box office sales. Which poses a fascinating question: Why did the producers of 500 Days of Summer choose this weekend to open? Surely Potter's box office bonanza comes as no surprise. Did they really think the mopey teens who like 'meaning music' were going to snub Potter for uh, the kid from 3rd Rock? SILLY FOOLS! [ Variety ]

Yes! A new movie named Bad Girls is being described as a cross between Lord of the Flies and Heathers. It's an adaptation of a novel. Bad Girls centers on a wild teenager shipped off to a reform school on a remote Caribbean island. On the island, she and The Others go up against violent drug dealers and killers as they battle their own worst impulses. First step: Kill the Pig! [THR]

Two men have died after a stage being built for Madonna's concert collapsed in Marseilles, France. Worst. Obits. Ever. []

Ed Helms! He does things we enjoy. Hopefully, we'll enjoy his newest movie project Cedar Rapids. Helms will play a sad-sack insurance agent who goes to an industry convention to try to save the jobs of his colleagues. Always the hero, that Helms. [ Variety ]

Kevin Smith has confirmed that Clerks and Chasing Amy will be released on Blu-Ray in November 2009 with a few new surprises. Aw! You guys remember Joey Lawrence Adams? Neither do I. [/Film]

A new painfully good looking young person has been cast in Twilight Eclipse. So, you know, Google images is probably a little strained right now! [ THR ]

Todd Phillips, writer/director of The Hangover, is has been hired by Warner Bros to write a new feature called Staycation. What's it about? We don't know but there's rightful suspicion that it will be a "male-driven-laffer." [ Vairety ]

Fox has tapped portly and lovable John Goodman to star in a new Ben Stiller-produced pilot. [Variety ]

More like solidarity for-never! The Directors union and the Writers union are beefing. Look at this Eff-Off email the head of the DGA sent to the head of SAG. "Of course, these are not normal circumstances "... you've repeatedly, and in my opinion unfraternally, attacked the negotiations and contracts of the DGA and other unions in the press and other public forums. So, in the circumstances, I'm very surprised that you would consider yourself to be in a position to convene an event that requires trust and fraternity to have any chance of success." Good luck on those negotiations, comrades! [ Variety ]

Which is weird! Because, see, the prosecutor on that show never won. It's funny! Then Al sort of rambles a bit about how Sonia watched Perry Mason in the Bronx, as a child, with her mom, and he watched in St. Louis Park, as a child, with the Coen brothers (j/k!), and now she is going to be on the Supreme Court, and that's "pretty cool."

This is obvious proof that he lacks the depth and gravitas necessary to be a US Senator. Unlike, say, Tom fucking Coburn.

Because the leader of the Democrats is still Mr. Harry Reid, a useless, spineless Democrat who does not actually care about passing liberal legislation, at all. And the most powerful Democrats in the Senate are, of course, the "centrists" who refuse to support any bill until whatever the Republicans want done to it is done to it (that is centrism!). And two Senators are near-death and hence not able to vote for anything.

Here is Harry Reid's press secretary:

"While this is, of course, good news to the people of Minnesota, President Obama, and the Senate Democratic, Franken's mere presence alone will not mean that the Democrats will be able to jam through our agenda, or make it any less critical for Democrats and Republicans to work together."

Well, it is not actually critical, anymore, to get Republicans to "work together" with Democrats. It is actually only critical for Majority Leader Harry Reid to get Democrats to actually vote with Democrats.

But Bernie Sanders has a crazy idea: a straight up-and-down majority rules vote on health care legislation! Achieving this, of course, requires a 60-vote supermajority for cloture, which would be a de facto vote for the health care legislation. Also that would be socialism.

It might happen! Still, it is not actually worth it, getting too excited about Al Franken in the Senate. Unless you are Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh, who are just pissing themselves with joy, because they have a new and exciting boogeyman they can hate with great intensity for six years.

[Photo: Getty]

"We have reached the point where further litigation damages the unity of our state," Coleman said at a news conference. "I congratulate Al Franken in his victory in his election."

Of course, that point was reached months ago, and everybody knew that Coleman's frantic attempts to pull out a legal victory were little more than delaying tactics to deny Democrats a 60th vote in the Senate.

Franken is expected to hold a news conference shortly after 5 p.m., and could be sworn in by next week. While his victory will nominally make the Democratic majority in the Senate "filibuster-proof," it probably won't have a substantial effect on major legislation, since there are several moderate Democratic votes that the Republicans can easily peel off to undo the supermajority.

It does, however, mean that Al Franken will be a United States senator. Weird, huh?

Pawlenty's numbers in Minnesota have been trending a bit downward of late, though a third term was still a definite possibility against a largely uninspiring slate of potential Democratic gubernatorial candidates. Unfortunately, Tim was trying to balance his newfound popularity in the national Republican party with his reputation as a moderate back in Minnesota.

A realistic moderate seeking a third term would probably just fucking sign the papers that allowed Al Franken to be seated as a Senator, which most Minnesotans support. The friendly future of the Republican party would fight tooth and nail to let Norm Coleman take it all the way to the US Supreme Court.

So! What is Tim's end game here? Who the hell knows. He can't be a Senator for years still—he had time to get part of a third term in before losing to Amy Klobuchar in 2012—and the House is a step down from being a Governor. Maybe he just wanted to salvage his career before the Minnesota economy finished completely, utterly tanking? Maybe he'll get an hour-long Sunday show on Fox? (Horn O' Pawlenty!) Either way, now he's free to be a pain in the ass to would-be-senator Stuart Smalley.

Norm Coleman lost his reelection to the US Senate to cocaine-addled New York comedian Al Franken, the famous star of LateLine. It was a very close race, and after the legally-mandated recount, Franken led Coleman by only 312 votes. So Norm took him to court! And lost! So he appealed! And he will lose, again! And in the meantime, Minnesota has only one lonely Senator, and the Democrats are missing their magical 60th vote that will solve all our problems. So the RNC is paying Norm to prolong the inevitable as long as possible, even as it destroys his own political career (a majority of Minnesotans currently wish Norm would just go away).

Should the Minnesota Supreme Court rule against Norm (which will probably happen some time around Independence Day), he could still appeal to the US Supreme Court! If he does this, Republican Governor Tim Pawlenty will have to sacrifice either his Gubernatorial reelection by not signing Franken's election certificate or wreck his future in the national GOP by giving the seat to the Democrat.

Here is a fun fact about the Minnesota State Supreme Court: one of the justices is former Vikings DT and NFL hall-of-famer Alan Page! Page's 148.5 career sacks reassure us that the court will decide fairly. We just wish they'd hurry up about it.

Norm Coleman, the former Senator, just lost his reelection bid by 300 votes, and right now he is spending most of his time going to every single court in Minnesota, one by one, trying to find a judge or panel of judges who will be like,"Oh, Norm, you clearly want to keep being a Senator so much, we'll just let you be one, again." Every week he loses another court challenge and then he appeals. Next week—next fucking week!—Norm will appeal to the Minnesota Supreme Court. Look at his sad life:

He has learned to ignore the big "Franken" signs on his neighbors' yards that taunt him when he walks out his door, a daily reminder of his five-month battle with Al Franken over the Senate seat Mr. Coleman, a Republican, won in 2002 and neither quite retained nor lost in November. Mr. Coleman said he begins each day with ritual Jewish morning prayer to help him though these trying times.

Small-town Minnesota newspapers that endorsed Coleman over his coke-snorting big-city celebrity rival are now running editorials begging him to give up the fight before he embarrasses the humble little state further. And Norm is just sitting at home, in St. Paul, every day, praying non-stop, making up lies to reporters about having dinner with his wife, who lives in California.

But he will fight on, until Republican governor Tim Pawlenty finally gives in to political pressures and certifies Franken, killing Tim's chances with the national Republican party (he wanted to be McCain's running mate!) but maybe rescuing his career in Minnesota.

Or maybe he'll do it the other way around, and blow off the wishes of Minnesota voters to aid his trip to the big time. In his second piece today, Nagourney sits down with Governor Pawlenty to indulge the amiable prick in his delusions of national prominence. Maybe he will run for President, sure, why not. It is the same old spiel about how what the Republicans need is not new positions or policies, but the same destructive positions and policies delivered by someone friendly and amiable, like him, or Mike Huckabee (preferably him).

Meanwhile for true local cover you should probably go to what remains of the local press:

Iron Range Democrat Jim Oberstar, the dean of the Minnesota congressional delegation, also weighed in Tuesday. "The process has been full and fair, but it has now run longer than the [Elmer] Andersen-[Karl] Rolvaag recount of 1962-63, which Rolvaag won by 92 votes," said Oberstar, who has largely stayed out of the recount fight. "Norm Coleman owes it to the people of Minnesota to take a decency page out of Elmer Andersen's record of public service and end this travail, while people still have a positive impression of him — or risk leaving a sore loser legacy."

So there you have it. Not since Elmer Andersen and Karl Rolvaag settled their own little election contest by seeing which one could pull the biggest walleye out of Lake Mille Lacs has the North Star State seen such a tawdry spectacle. Now here's Leo Kottke and the Hopeful Gospel Quartet to play us out.

The ballots are to be counted in open court next week.

The Times called the ruling "potentially decisive;" a "GOP staffer close to [Challenger Norm] Coleman" told Politico "It’s not looking good.” Coleman really needed more like 1,400 absentee ballots counted.

The Republican's people have already promised Politico they have "no choice" but to appeal to the Minnesota Supreme Court. Which isn't quite the same thing as Coleman saying it; he could suddenly decide to be the noble loser and contradict his staff and bow out, but that's not expected, the appeal is.

Assuming Coleman loses at state supreme court, the Republican could keep appealing, maybe forever, at the federal level, but everyone who didn't detest him for the state appeal will then begin to hate him, and everyone else will be just absolutely seething.

No one knows when Franken would get seated amid all this. Most likely after the state appeal and during any federal appeals. Anyway it's not like the Democratic president desperately needs votes in the senate to pass a budget, financial rescue plan or health care reform this year, or anything.

See, Harry Reid "pledged" back in February to have Franken seated by April 1. Well, that deadline will probably come and go without anyone being seated, as who knows when the three-judge panel will finally rule on Coleman's challenge (supposedly any day now).

Norm Coleman's attorney admitted that Norm will probably lose this round to Franken, but then he'll appeal to the Minnesota Supreme Court, even though that's a terrible idea that will kill his political career for good.

Still, Franken promised this weekend that he'd win, and seemed convinced the case would go to the Minnesota Supreme Court and confident that he'd prevail.

Now John Cornyn has led the rallying cry for a filibuster or something if the Dems try to seat Franken before he gets his certificate. And he can't get his certificate until after the state courts have decided everything. Which means after Norm's appeal to the MN Supreme Court. At that point, should Coleman lose, the election results can be certified. And they probably will be certified, because a) Coleman has no public support to drag this out indefinitely, and b) Governor Pawlenty wouldn't want to be dragged into this (he's been cagey so far) by looking like he's denying Minnesota a vote in the Senate for partisan purposes.

So an appeal to the federal courts probably won't happen, and even if it does, there's a good chance Franken will still be seated while that appeal plays out.

And this is how Politico reported this BREAKING NEWS:

Texas Sen. John Cornyn is threatening "World War III" if Democrats try to seat Al Franken in the Senate before Norm Coleman can pursue his case through the federal courts.

Cornyn, the chairman of the National Republican Senatorial Committee, acknowledges that a federal challenge to November's elections could take "years" to resolve. But he's adamant that Coleman deserves that chance - even if it means Minnesota is short a senator for the duration.

The source for the "years" quote is an off-the-cuff statement Cornyn made last week about how "Appeals take months, if not years, sometimes." Sometimes! The source for the "World War III" quote? Unknown!

But hey, they got their Drudge link for exaggerating and repackaging (and possibly just making up!) old news. World War III!

Joe Friedberg gave Norm Coleman's closing arguments last week, and then yesterday he went on the local sports talk radio station (???) for an interview. And he gave away his whole strategy! (His strategy: lose.)

ROSENBAUM: Well, when you say quick appeal, are you confident that you are going to lose the case in front of the three-judge panel? By losing the case, I mean Norm ends up with less votes.

FRIEDBERG: I think that's probably correct that Franken will still be ahead and probably by a little bit more. But our whole argument was a constitutional argument, and it's an argument suitable for the Minnesota Supreme Court, not for the trial court. So we'll see whether we were right or not.

Hah. Soooo this is Coleman's plan: once the interminable current lawsuit is finished, and everyone in Minnesota is pissed off at him for dragging this out, he will appeal. Brilliant! Another Bush v. Gore will really make everyone feel like this was all worth it.

The Minnesota Senate race ended in a statistical tie between Coleman and the creator of the short-lived sitcom LateLine. After a lengthy, impressively transparent well-monitored hand recount, Franken end up the winner by a hilariously slim margin (225 votes).

So Coleman, who on election night demanded Franken peacefully and quietly conede the race before the counting was actually finished, is now just suing to get all the rejected ballots that might be for him counted, and the courts keep being like "uh these were properly rejected sir" and meanwhile Al's lawyers are using the opportunity to do the same thing, because why not? And it will never end. Except it's gradually ending.

Ballots that Norm Coleman wants to count took a beating in testimony on Tuesday, while ballots he thinks are illegal were protected by the judges hearing the U.S. Senate trial.

Coleman basically knew this decision was coming yesterday, but don't worry: he promises never to give up his legal challenges that are surely endearing him to the electorate and he's also hanging around the Senate even though he doesn't even have an office anymore. What a winner.