When you're a drunk college student, $30 in exchange for punching a hole through an IKEA coffee table with your head sounds like a good deal.

For ages, dreamers, alchemists, mixologists and other enthusiasts have fantasized about a better world—a world where drunkenness wasn't accompanied by hangover, nausea or liver damage. Now, one scientist says he can make that dream a reality. Behold: the age of the "alcohol substitute" is at hand.

It's called "Auto-Brewery Syndrome," and it may take artisanal homebrewing to disturbing new lows.

It's long been a source of furious contention among many a college kid, but now the debate can finally be put to rest thanks to science.

Having had enough of arguing with his girlfriend over his drinking habit, a man in Keelung City, Taiwan, reportedly retreated to the bathroom with a pair of scissors in hand, and proceeded to slice off his own penis.

Remember the other day when you were saying how much you loved the sketch series "Drunk History" but that you wished how instead of history it was a corny joke about tortilla chips that Morgan Patch told her husband Adam while sauced off her ass on a bottle of wine, which he then turned into an animated short?

Police arrested a woman Tuesday after she allegedly slipped two "tainted" bottles of orange juice into the drink fridge at a San Jose Starbucks. Authorities charged her with attempted murder, saying the bottles contained a "lethal dose" of rubbing alcohol. How much is that, exactly? Glad you asked.

Great news for people who abuse their livers (on this day of widespread liver abuse) — doctors in Britain have perfected a device that will keep livers alive longer, drastically increasing the availability of viable transplants. The team presented the device on Friday, announcing that "it could be common practice in…

Here's a picture taken outside of 13th Step, an East Village bar which was named one of Complex's "25 Douchiest NYC Bars" last year.

Hey everyone, how's your morning going? Did you get up early to run the Turkey Trot? That's a rhetorical question because of course you did not, that would be a complete waste of time: today is Thanksgiving.

When San Francisco's archbishop-elect Salvatore Cordileone was arrested for a DUI a little over a month ago, that was just God's way of putting him in his place.

A German liquor company has come up with a fairly tasteless stunt intended to titillate its potential clientele: A line of spirits "filtered" through the naked bodies of playmates and glamour models.

Daniel Radcliffe, The Boy Who Lived and Starred in the Harry Potter Movies, partied with some Irish Gaelic Football (soccer) players. And thanks to the miracle of Brit slang, we can say he "had a magical night on the piss."

Shaun White is doing his part to perpetuate the stereotype of the drunk and disorderly snowboarder-skater: the Olympic gold medalist has been charged with public intoxication and vandalism.

Could Amanda Bynes repeat driving issues reflect deeper mental problems? TMZ sure thinks so.

A drunk woman has been arrested after making a total ass of herself on a flight.

There is nothing not weird and wonderful about this crime story out of Oregon. It involves drinking, sexting, and getting stoned while talking to cats.