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douchebag hall of fame
Tips On Street Fighting from Yale Fantasist Aleksey Vayner
Once upon a time, a junior Yalie named Aleksey Vayner sent a C.V. with a link to a hubristic, ill-advised "video resume" to a Wall Street bank. It featured him lifting weights, doing judo, and spewing truisms about the nature of success. He was mocked, but he followed his own advice: failure is simply not an option. (He wrote a self-help book.) Now he's back on the internets, "helping" us about the "latest trends in hedge funds" and "how to win a street fight." Weird: if you read his advice on winning a street fight correctly, you can also find information on how to survive, say, life in the New York media mob:
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secrets of the millionaire mind
Aleksey Vayner Borrows Book Cover From Non-Internet Phenom
Aleksey Vayner is so back. Did you hear? And just to ensure that we would continue writing about him, he made this thing—the cover of Millionaires' Blueprint to Success: Discover the Secrets of Wealthy elite, his "upcoming" "book"—look just like that thing—the cover of some other dude's book. He also shortened the banner line from the cumbersome "Think Rich to Get Rich" to the snappier "Think and Grow Rich." It really is brilliant insight into the secrets of Wealthy elite! Steal and dumb down! [IvyGate] -
he's back
The Triumphant Return of Aleksey Vayner!
While no one thought he would fully disappear, for a while in late 2007 it seemed Aleksey Vayner had faded away. Earlier in the year, the inaugural inductee into the Gawker Hall of Fame had been severely mocked for his fabulist and fabulously hubristic video resume. And then he went deep underground. But 2008 smoked him out whatever anonymous labyrinth in which he sought refuge. And now, on his new website he's flying dangerously close to the sun once again. Though he admits he "received his share of mockery from kids in the bloggosphere," he still wants you to know he can bench press 520 lbs. More » -
don't call it a comeback
Aleksey Vayner Returns To New York City!
Aleksey Vayner, the most popular Halloween costume of 2006, plagiarist, fabulist and the king of all banker-boy douchebags, has come to New York City begging for a job and amends. Why the delay? As Dealbreaker notes, Vayner graduated in May and "was going to go pro in tennis, with a debut playing doubles in the US Open. Unfortunately, his partner hurt his wrist two hours before their match."
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video
What Am Possible?
DealBreaker points out an overlooked (by us) gem from the holiday season: Arrested Development's Michael Cera in a spot-on Aleksey Vayner parody clip, created for some well-intentioned McSweeney's/Dave Eggersian event. Complete with dancing, artistry, and extremely awkward singlets in a physical fitness context. -
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Gawker's Personalities of the Year
As 2006 huffs toward its inexorable end, we decided to take a moment to recognize those personalities that made our job that much more tolerable this year. These are the people who gave us endless fodder for our douchebag mill, who were attracted to the spotlight like moths to a flame, whose stated disdain for our coverage of them was contradicted by their almost pathetic attempts to court it. The adage that there's no such thing as bad publicity has never felt more apt.
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clips
Rocky Vs. Aleksey: Funnier, At Least, Than 'Rocky Balboa'
Though the real sequel probably has slightly more competent editing. Still, enjoy! Russian accents are inherently humorous! More » -
remainders
Remainders: Aleksey Vayner, Back for More
- Aleksey Vayner now inspiring the youth of our country. [IvyGate] More »
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aleksey vayner
Aleksey Vayner Not Only Enterprising Douchebag From Yale
We're not sure how to view the latest Aleksey Vayner dispatch from the kids at IvyGate. On the one hand, the idea that a couple of "friends" of the Yale internet sensation are pitching a "memoir" of the douchebag's life says nothing good about Ivy grads (and, potentially, the publishing industry). On the other hand, who hasn't been trying to make a quick buck on the rapidly-dwindling interest in the wannabe i-banker's story? Let's face it: These are Yale graduates who, for whatever reasons, have to live in Louisville and some San Francisco exurb. This may be their only shot. But, on reflection, we're gonna go with the first impulse: the douchebag may have been outdouched. Full, repellent book pitch after the jump: More » -
clips
Douchebag Can't Be Certain That He's Actually Douchebag In Video
The Aleksey Vayner tour makes today's stop at Inside Edition. Host Deborah Norville doesn't let him off lightly: There's some manufactured outrage when Aleksey admits that he's not exactly sure if it's him in the skiing segment of his resume video. It's an awkward—and therefore delightful—moment. A couple of quibbles: How many "first interviews" with this kid can there be? Also, when Norville introduces the segment and says that Vayner is"better known as 'the college kid with the super-sized ego'"? Uh, no, Deb: He's better known as "douchebag." More » -
clips
Douchebag Getting a Lot of Wear Out of That One Suit
Aleksey Vayner finally showed up for an interview today, appearing on MSNBC's Rita Cosby Live and Looking for Work. Aleksey is deeply hurt by the way people on the Internet who don't even know him assume that he's some sort of douchebag. We feel for the kid. Also joining him was attorney Christian Steuben, who once again suggested that Vayner's privacy should have been respected since "it's not like he was applying to sell hamburgers." Agreed. Because you know everyone who's working the night shift over at Hardee's sends out their douchebaggy video resumes with the full foreknowledge that it's likely to be passed along. More » -
aleksey vayner
Douchebag May Have a Line on Great Two-Bedroom That's Just Slightly Out Of Your Price Range
The suit, the clasped hands, the arrogant expression: you don't even need to read the article or know anything about the story, this photo says it all. And what it says is douchebag. Oh, yeah, Aleksey may decide to go into real estate. This story just writes itself. More » -
donald trump
Remainders: Speaking of Douches
- Breaking news from Nevada. Oh, if only Mark Foley was the biggest problem the Republicans had. [Wonkette] More »
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clips
Battle of the Douchebags: P.R. Person vs. Investment Bankers
After breaking his silence to Newscorp's New York Post this morning, Yale douchebag Aleksey Vayner decided against appearing on Newscorp's Fox News this afternoon. In his stead, Fox decided to interview Fraser Seitel, author of The Practice of Public Relations, as to what Vayner should do next. Nothing was particularly interesting about it, but we did enjoy this part of the segment, where Seitel calls investment bankers "self-serving," "narcissistic," and "preening." You hear that, i-bankers? You just got called out by a P.R. guy! That's got to sting. -
aleksey vayner
Douchebag Hires Attorney, Cries and Moans
Gawker's other douchebag, Aleksey Vayner, breaks his silence today and speaks to the Post (which, as the graphic above seems to indicate, has also considered the possibility that his time in the sun may be drawing to a close). Aleksey is upset by the recent attention he's received, and has retained counsel. More » -
aleksey vayner
Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Aleksey Vayner
So has the Aleksey Vayner story run its course? The folks at IvyGate, who have been at the forefront of the Hall of Fame Douchebag's internet ubiquity of late, are prepared to draw down the shade on the whole sordid tale, although not before revealing some of young Mr. Garber's outright plagiarism. We're not so sure; the mainstream media is cottoning on to the kid's charm; Inside Edition ran a piece about it today (which actually referenced yesterday's Today Show segment; it's getting a bit meta). And while brand new douchebags bring themselves to the forefront of our consciousness every day, we're not quite ready to let go. You know how it is: You never forget your first. Especially when they're nuclear-waste handling Tibetan-monk killers. We want more. More » -
douchebag hall of fame
Douchebag Hall of Fame: The Inevitable Charter Member
We want to thank you for the epic flood of douchebaggery you've unleashed upon our inbox. We'll be inducting the initial class of the Douchebag Hall of Fame all this week. Our first member needs no introduction, but the boss is always on our ass about context, so we're going to do it anyway. Ladies and gentlemen, your pioneer Douchebag is Aleksey Vayner.
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clips
Reminder: We Want Your Douchebags
Our call for nominations to The Douchebag Hall of Fame has resulted in a flood of Hall-worthy douchebags; keep them coming either here or via e-mail. A quick clarification: We're looking for what one commenter refers to as "internet-buzz related douchebags," not your everyday run-of-the-mill douchebag (there are so many of those that no hall could hold them all). While we tabulate your results, please enjoy this Richard Blakeley remix of Aleksey Vayner's bid for DBHF inclusion; the Yale senior is, more than anyone, responsible for this project, and probably deserves his own wing. More » -
aleksey vayner
Douchebag's Underage Douchebag Friends Taken Care Of
Not a lot of news on the Aleksey Vayner front this morning, except to note that the douchebag had YouTube take down his infamous video; the American heroes at IvyGate have re-upped it and it can be found here. Also, an observation: We've been getting a considerable amount of mail from shady organizations who are now creating fake Vayner profiles on their websites in hopes of a link. How sad is that? You go from promising young sociopath to spam-baiting joke in a week's time. There's something almost poetic about it. Also, we (and, apparently everyone else in the world) received a copy of Aleksey's birthday party e-mail: You'll find it after the jump. More » -
aleksey vayner
Secretly Sensitive Douchebag Likes Dancing, 'The Matrix'
Your personal recollections of New Haven-area douchebag* Aleksey Veyner continue to come in. Here's our personal favorite of the afternoon:
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aleksey vayner
A Lawyer Who Represents Himself Has a Douchebag for a Client
Dealbreaker brings word that UBS is on the hunt for whoever leaked the video of Yale douchebag Aleksey Vayner, and probably with good reason: We're hearing that Vayner is suing UBS for the video's widespread distribution. No word on whether or not Vayner will add "lawyer" to his long list of fraudulent credits, but we're sort of hoping that he does: "attorney" is the third angle alongside "investment banker" and "Eli" in the twat trifecta. More » -
aleksey vayner
God and Douchebag at Yale
So yesterday's call for further information on titanic douchebag Aleksey Vayner brought forth an outpouring of fond reminiscences from his fellow Elis. We've cleaned them up a bit for your consumption, but this first one gives you a general idea of how well-regarded the future investment banker is amongst his schoolmates.
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clips
Daily Dose of Douchery (Bonus Schadenfreude Edition): Aleksey Vayner
The young stud you see here lifting 140 lb. (each!) weights is Aleksey Vayner, Yale senior and current man in the news. The Sun reports that Vayner recently sent a resume to investment bank UBS and included a promotional video: More »
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