• It Probably Doesn't Work Too Well I know, I know, his mom is in great shape. Dude is still 71.
• Untouched By Cindy Since 1989 Even if John McCain didn't have sex with that lobbyist, the only reason to seek any kind of companionship with a woman is because your wife isn't touching your penis.
• If There's Any Hair Left, It's White According to another listicle we read, hair down there turns gray and falls out with age. Once again, John McCain is old.
• It Is Untroubled By Ethical Lapses In this respect, John McCain's penis is no different than yours.
• It Stays The Course Iraq is winnable, and given the proper attention, and enough time (it may be a long time), his penis, too, will succeed in its mission.

• Erections Can Hurt Balls Prolonged sexual arousal can cause a temporary fluid congestion in the testicles. Known as "blue balls," this is unpleasant.
• Erections Make Balls Harder When blood is flowing to that region, testicles become firmer.
• Balls Emit A Slight Odor To prevent this, shower regularly.
• There Should Be Two Something is wrong if there is only one.
• Hair Grows There Don't feel bad if your balls are hairy. They're supposed to be! Unless of course you're encouraging a specific activity.

[image via Queerty's Morning Goods]

Gary Fisketjon, who was Raymond's editor later in his life, certainly thinks so: "I would rather dig my friend Ray Carver out of the ground. I don't understand what Tess's interest in doing this is except to rewrite history. I am appalled by it." The reader who brought this to our attention agrees with Gary: "This is possibly the worst idea of all time. Next to Stephen King refilming The Shining with the dude from 'Wings.' When it comes down to The Author Thought This' and 'The Editor Thought This' Everyone ought to go with the one who ain't The Artiste."

Even if you tend to agree with those dudes, this teapot-tempest still raises some interesting questions about the role of the fiction editor. It's not something that's actually talked about that much outside of book publishing and graduate English and writing programs: how do the books we read get to be that way? The work of the editor is supposed to be stealth and unnoticeable, but savvy readers can recognize a certain person's imprimatur, like a stealth voice behind the voice that amplifies what the author is doing without ever getting in the way of it. In this instance, it seems clear that Gordon did this job admirably well. But for various weird reasons, some having to do with booze, Raymond acknowledged that, though Gordon had improved the stories, he didn't want to accept the changes. So what's more important, the "better" book or the book the author wanted to write and see published?