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Woody Allen Is in Love with Carla Bruni
Shia LaBeouf Has A Small Weiner. Has, Not Is.
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son of spam
11/25/09

In reply to Woody Allen Is in Love with Carla Bruni
Carla being not terrible. I don't think she does emotions though.
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DTurkin
11/25/09

@son of spam: But she is generally not good. I've always suspected that she married Sarkozy in order to help bring her a bit more fame.
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son of spam
11/25/09

@DTurkin: Whoa, whoa, whoa!!! Let's keep the radical suspicions to ourselves, shall we?
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DTurkin
11/25/09

@son of spam: LOL, I'll admit that I am not the only one here that thinks it!

True story, if it wasn't for a pre-booked vacation this year I would have had the chance to meet her and her husband (they were in NY). That would have been interesting...
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mishmisha
11/25/09

@DTurkin: I can't imagine that Bruni would want more of anything than she already has. She grew up in a huge estate in Italy, was a well known model and singer, and now first lady of france. She has won the lottery when it comes to good luck in life. A vanity fair article I read painted them both as extremely competitive and fierce in the pursuit of love... and maybe they just had a lot in common.
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raincoaster
11/26/09

@mishmisha: She was a major model for quite some time, but never as big in the US as in Europe. And she's a terrific singer/songwriter. And her family is fascinating; rich, eccentric, artistic, aristocratic.

Bruni may or may not be a famewhore, but she didn't just fall off a turnip truck and marry Sarkozy. The last time she was in Vanity Fair was back when she was banging Mick Jagger.
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The Fort Hill Blues
11/25/09

In reply to Woody Allen Is in Love with Carla Bruni
I'm liking the New Haven MetroNorth line shout out here. I bet that train is a fucking zoo today.
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Brian Moylan
11/25/09

@The Fort Hill Blues: Ugh, I'll be on it tomorrow morning. Not looking forward to it.
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Jrsy Devil's Advocate®
05/18/09

In reply to Shia LaBeouf Has A Small Weiner. Has, Not Is.
I thought it was common knowledge that he is a big wiener..
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maude_flanders
05/17/09

In reply to Shia LaBeouf Has A Small Weiner. Has, Not Is.
Damn you, Gawker, why, why did you have to take Jake away? Why?
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DeltaGuy
05/17/09

@maude_flanders: Gawker may giveth and taketh away, but fortunately I saveth the image URL.
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DeltaGuy
05/17/09

@DeltaGuy: Unfortunately, I also apparently forgeteth to include the URL in my post.

[cache.gawker.com]

Enjoyeth.
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HollingsworthDevereaux
05/17/09

In reply to Shia LaBeouf Has A Small Weiner. Has, Not Is.
Incidentally, that pillow under the butt thing works when executed properly. That Shia knows this only proves 1) that he reads sex articles in women's magazines, and 2)maybe he thinks he needs to make more of an effort since he's got a small peen (which, as lacieca01 suggests, might be part of some self depracating cultural thing).
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power_stroke
05/17/09

Foster, FYI: it improves contact with the G-spot. If done correctly, you should never hear another joke about your Semitic manhood ever again. Not that I've found the stereotype to be true, mind you.
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bess marvin, girl detective
05/17/09

Shia said he's not extremely well endowed meaning that he could be about average. Semantics my dear Foster, semantics.

With that said, I'd still sit on Shia's face. Especially after reading this [www.backstagepazz.com].
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TedSez
05/17/09

In reply to Shia LaBeouf Has A Small Weiner. Has, Not Is.
Of course ours are bigger. Why do you think they have to take some away?
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unclevanya
05/17/09

@TedSez: Well played, sir!
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Uncle_Billy_Slumming
05/18/09

@TedSez:

(ehem) The Jews are indeed the most optimistic people on earth. We cut a quarter of it off before we even know how big it's going to be.

So lady goes to her psychiatrist and says: "There's something really wrong with me and I don't know what it is."

Psych: Madame, you haf ein probelem mit der Phallus.

Madame: Phallus? What is that?

Psych: Here, haf a look. (unzips)

Madame: Oooooh... it's like a penis, only smaller.
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If_I_Had_a_Poodle
05/17/09

In reply to Shia LaBeouf Has A Small Weiner. Has, Not Is.
i've seen monster dicks and tiny mushroom dicks on jewish guys ... i think "they" have X size dicks just comes from being Other

a friend did tell me that she knew a black guy with a tiny one who was more embarrased by being a black guy with a little one than just having a little one, like he was letting down the team or something
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spotted-dog
05/17/09

In reply to Shia LaBeouf Has A Small Weiner. Has, Not Is.
is it just me, or does that look like jake gyllenhaal?
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maude_flanders
05/17/09

@spotted-dog: That IS Jake Gyllenhaal.

I don't know why he here, and I don't care/need a reason...good morning to you to you too, Gawker.
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mmstk101
05/17/09

@maude_flanders: I don't much care for Jake, but I do quite like that picture.
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maude_flanders
05/17/09

@maude_flanders: Jesus Christ...the distraction of the photo = incoherent, typo filled sentences....damn.
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unclevanya
05/17/09

@maude_flanders: I knew it! I thought I was going insane.

So, does he allegedly have a huge one? What's the connection? Is Shia supposed to be down there in front of him?

Please?
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SanjivaniChrysippus
05/17/09

@spotted-dog: jake gyllenhaal is half Jewish and I am guessing that his dick is just right.
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unclevanya
05/17/09

@SanjivaniChrysippus: Well, he did land the ultimate Goldilocks. Ba-dum-chee.
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pureblarney
05/17/09

@maude_flanders: I hate that I can't save it to my laptop! The world is so unjust. Except for giving me porn unannounced on a Sunday.
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DeltaGuy
05/17/09

@spotted-dog: You can't imagine how reassuring it is for me to find out that the picture is of Jake. For a second, I almost thought a picture of Shia was turning me on.
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Uncle_Billy_Slumming
05/17/09

@spotted-dog:

Why did they crop out Marlon?
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unclevanya
05/17/09

In reply to Shia LaBeouf Has A Small Weiner. Has, Not Is.
When I was a kid, I would wake up on Sunday mornings and read the funny papers.

Now, I wake up on Sunday afternoons and read about celebrity dick length and "ripping of ass" on an LCD screen.

Progress? Coin flip.
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MincnglyWhrdL'mer
05/17/09

@unclevanya: you know, you can still do both like I do

here. have some mary worth dramatizations

[www.boingboing.net]
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Steve Holt's Mother Part Deux
05/17/09

@unclevanya: Steve Dallas would approve, but I think Binkley would need a trip to the meadow.
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Uncle_Billy_Slumming
05/17/09

In reply to Shia LaBeouf Has A Small Weiner. Has, Not Is.
Ever since Sammy Davis hit JewTown, the average has been skewed upwards.
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iplaudius
05/17/09

In reply to Shia LaBeouf Has A Small Weiner. Has, Not Is.
I’ve heard women and gay men swear passionately that "Jewish guys have small dicks" and "Jewish guys have huge dicks." Where does this mythology come from?
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OMG! Ponies!
05/17/09

@iplaudius: The fact that we have relatively small cocks.

Mine is about 4 1/2" when erect. It's not much, but it gets the job done.
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bosskev
05/17/09

@OMG! Ponies!: It gets the job done...of keeping the sock held in place?
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iplaudius
05/17/09

@OMG! Ponies!: My point is, that’s you. How many hard Jewish dicks have you observed?
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OMG! Ponies!
05/17/09

@iplaudius: Just mine. I keep my eyes on the road when I'm in the loo.
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cdmunch
05/17/09

@iplaudius: Why do you perverts always make the conversation about yourselves and your sexual appendages?
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iplaudius
05/17/09

@OMG! Ponies!: Well, there you go. You need a sample size of at least thirty random Jewish dicks before you can begin to say whether they’re generally bigger or smaller than the 6.5" average for Caucasians.

On the other hand, if what you say true, then, OK, I’m the Jewish version of a porn star.
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iplaudius
05/17/09

@iplaudius: Whoops, apparently I was wrong about averages. If the info in Wikipedia is accurate, see the article on Penis size. Average size is 5.1-5.9"; one study found Jewish guys (presumably Ashkenazi Jews) to average 5.35".
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CJ4
05/17/09

@iplaudius: Um, I think the first one comes from the Palestinians and the second one comes from the Jews.
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iplaudius
05/17/09

@CJ4: Which would just go to show you don’t need a big dick to fuck someone royally.
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eleusiswalks
05/17/09

@iplaudius: All the Jews I've slept with (this is many Jews) have been bigger on average than the Gentiles, who've been mostly average. Except for the black guy. So yeah I dunno where the Jews have small dicks thing comes from.
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saintjim
05/17/09

@cdmunch: It's the text-based version of flashing. Some guys just feel compelled to do it. I guess.
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cdmunch
05/17/09

@saintjim: @iplaudius: My thoughts and prayers go out to the precious little dogs who are forced to sit at the ends of your beds and witness your crimes against decency and physics with a loud parade of locker room pickups and scruffy ethnics from local bars.
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MincnglyWhrdL'mer
05/17/09

@iplaudius: my precision calibrated tonsils are happy to provide you with that 30+ sample: jews are on average somewhat bigger than gentiles, which makes sense, israel is next to, um, arabia? let's just say arabia, and arabs are known for being big.

jesus, who knew sucking so much cock in my youth would come in handy later?
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MincnglyWhrdL'mer
05/17/09

oh and who cares if he has a tiny penis? I'd flip his knees behind his ears anytime
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Chester Copperpot
05/17/09

@eleusiswalks: Of all the Jewish guys I've been with, (more than 2) only one has been what I would consider not-small. Tho, they are huge when next to the Irish.
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DeltaGuy
05/17/09

@Chester Copperpot: Sadly, so true. Yet another source or Irish emo poetry.
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iplaudius
05/17/09

@cdmunch: @saintjim: Reality check, ladies: these are irrelevant anonymous comments in a thread on a page few people will ever read. My thoughts and prayers for your evidently severe insecurities.
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cdmunch
05/17/09

@iplaudius: Listen here you Suetonius of perversion, I come to this message board for hardcore mental stimulation, not erogenous detail-work. That's just disingenuous and filthy, like flirting with a guy on the Barcelona metro.
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iplaudius
05/17/09

@cdmunch: Look, I’m sorry about that. If it makes you feel any better, I checked the Barcelona Craigslist "missed connections" page for days after.
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OMG! Ponies!
05/17/09

In reply to Shia LaBeouf Has A Small Weiner. Has, Not Is.
If it's any consolation to young Mr. LeBouef, he can take comfort in knowing that he is a hermaphroditic douchebag.

He is simultaneously a giant dick and a huge pussy.

That's got to count for something.
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pureblarney
05/17/09

@OMG! Ponies!: Story?
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