What good is a kids pool party without the constant fear of someone getting eaten?

Late Friday evening, the NYPD removed over a dozen exotic and mostly monster-ish animals from an apartment in Crown Heights, Brooklyn. All told, police seized 13 animals, including two alligators, two bearded dragons, five pythons, a boa constrictor, a gecko, a scorpion, and a tarantula. Not entirely sure why they…

A Florida man's day went from bad to worse when he got his hand bitten off by an alligator and was charged with illegally feeding the animal.

Doomed iPad newspaper The Daily offers a fascinating dispatch from the Mid Ohio Alternative Animal and Bird Sale, a seasonal auction that draws thousands to the tiny Amish town of Mount Hope:

Instead of creating cuddly animals that people might actually want (mini-giraffes for the home, hamsters large enough to put on a leash and take for walks), some Harvard University scientists are mixing up chicken DNA to make "embryos with alligator-like snouts instead of beaks." Great!

Barack Obama visited El Paso, Texas today to jump start the case for comprehensive immigration reform, yet again, as well as to make fun of Republicans. He mocks the party's ever-moving goalposts on border security, such as wanting more and more troops on the border and demanding an even "higher" fence. "Maybe…

An eight-year-old Florida boy donated his turtle, Tomalina, to an aquarium. While he was there, an alligator ate it. The boy screamed "Oh no alligator, let it go," while it crunched on the shell. He'll never donate to charity again.

A Massachusetts woman, Maryellen Mara-Christian was on an alligator hunting trip in South Carolina this week "hoping for a 10-footer," when she saw a 1,025 pound gator swimming. She shot it and severed its spinal cord with a knife.

Thought you were safe in the big city? Think again: Not only was an alligator found under a Datsun in New York, another one (pictured) is living in the Chicago river. Your so-called "modern art" museums won't save you now!

You know that urban legend about alligators living in New York City sewers? Well: A baby alligator crawled out of a storm drain and took refuge under a Datsun in Queens on Sunday. So, now all urban legends are true.