I honestly thought those asshole judges were going to save their save for Allison because they knew America was fucked up as evidenced by her bottom 2 appearances way too many weeks in a row.
But they wasted it on Matt Mole and now Allison had to swing from the rafters.
Assholes. They deserve the mediocrity that American Idol is and always has been.
If only you could have summoned the same rage for Lil' Kim's ousting from DWTS this week. Jewel's aw-shucks rodeo cowboy lives to dance badly another week. Against the underage gymnast and the cheerleader Bachelor reject.
I will say, that despite my deep-seated hatred for the show (my strong affection for watching people fail on TV notwithstanding), one good thing came out of American Idol: this hilarious article.
All season I've been trying to figure out why the Producers/Judges were insisting on pushing the Goke-ster down our throats. I mean, the whole "Dead Wife" thing made for a few heart-tugging little segments sad to melancholy music earlier in the season, but the back lash to his "dead wife pimping" happened relatively early on (like, the semifinals)!
Then, it dawned on me! Having Gokey win is a last ditch effort by everyone involved to free themselves of the Beast that 'American Idol' has become. They all want to move on with their lives, but can't! It's like the story-line from Curb Your Enthusiasm when Mel Brooks cast Larry in The Producers hoping it would kill the shows' runaway success.
Paula's performance, just like Jaime Foxx's, simply illustrates all you have to do is have a vocoder and you can flail around a stage and think you have a hit on your hands.. If anyone remembers Roger and Zapp, those were the original dudes that exclusively used vocoders, and it was their trademark. Now, every freakin' pop star vocodes their voice and it's pure effortless trash.
I think we can probably blame Cher when she did "Believe" in the late 90s, that seemed to have kicked this off but at least that song is half-way tolerable. It's not long before robots start cutting records -- I'm waiting for the Speak-n-Spell guy to release an album.
@allyzay: Don't you read? Paula has NEVER been drunk.
She's just addicted to pain killers and has a prescription that would knock out most whales within seconds, yet somehow keeps her thinly skinned corpse teetering between this life and the next.
@lobstr: Hate to be a stickler on facts, but Stevie Wonder was using the MOOG long before Roger and Zapp graced us with the AutoTuner®. But you were right on with Cher.
@kookla: You stickla! Actually, I'm a huge Stevie fan and I know he used shitloads of different racks of equipment but I can't for the life of me think of any of his songs where he computerized his voice.. Hep me out w/ a title so I can hear that madness..
Incidentally, we could trace it back to Peter Frampton as far as straight-up electronic vocalizing but he didn't really use it for poppy dance music as everyone else in the world after him has..
While flipping channels (because American Idol is just ridiculous) I saw Stefani singing (howling? braying off-key like an impaled wolfen) and doing push-ups. The fuck was going on there? Is she in some sort of mental crisis?
What's the point of auditioning "singers" if all you have to do to be a pop star is mince around on stage while your crappy cooing is so altered by a computer "pitch corrector" that makes you sound like a cross between T-Pain and C3PO? (Hi, Paula!)
Richard's boyfriend, the mewling triangle-mouthed worship-leader who doesn't actually sing like a damn worship-leader Yeah, easy for you to say while he's in Paris and can't kick your sorry azz. But just wait until he returns all rested and butched-up (like boys get when they go to France).
05/07/09
But they wasted it on Matt Mole and now Allison had to swing from the rafters.
Assholes. They deserve the mediocrity that American Idol is and always has been.
05/07/09
05/07/09
And then there's Gilles. Ooooooooh, Gilles...
05/07/09
05/07/09
Then, it dawned on me! Having Gokey win is a last ditch effort by everyone involved to free themselves of the Beast that 'American Idol' has become. They all want to move on with their lives, but can't! It's like the story-line from Curb Your Enthusiasm when Mel Brooks cast Larry in The Producers hoping it would kill the shows' runaway success.
I bet I'm right! I think I know I am!
05/07/09
05/07/09
Especially since she looks a lot like the late Mrs. Gokey:
05/07/09
05/07/09
05/07/09
UGH!! i hate it!
05/07/09
I think we can probably blame Cher when she did "Believe" in the late 90s, that seemed to have kicked this off but at least that song is half-way tolerable. It's not long before robots start cutting records -- I'm waiting for the Speak-n-Spell guy to release an album.
05/07/09
05/07/09
She's just addicted to pain killers and has a prescription that would knock out most whales within seconds, yet somehow keeps her thinly skinned corpse teetering between this life and the next.
05/07/09
05/07/09
And everyone, stop saying Allison is funny looking. I think she's very pretty.
05/07/09
05/07/09
Incidentally, we could trace it back to Peter Frampton as far as straight-up electronic vocalizing but he didn't really use it for poppy dance music as everyone else in the world after him has..
05/07/09
gotta hand it to 'em, they made vocoding a freakin' performance art.. no one else should have touched it :D
05/08/09
So now I'm in my way-back machine and I am listening to Songs in the Key of Life and there is a song called "Ebony Eyes"
05/08/09
05/07/09
05/07/09
05/07/09
05/07/09
05/07/09
05/07/09
05/07/09
05/07/09
05/07/09
05/07/09