Gawker: american heroes

Michelle Shock: More Excited For Elmo Than Queen

Pareene — Wed, 06 May 2009 11:20:29 EDT

Michelle Obama filmed a Sesame Street appearance yesterday, and, as any good American would be, she was delighted. Apparently it was even more fun than meeting some ancient English broad!

Sorry, we meant "the Queen." It was more fun than meeting "the Queen." She didn't explicitly say this, of course. Michelle said, of taping a Sesame Street segment: "I think it's probably the best thing I've done so far in the White House. " So Britain's Daily Mail reminds its readers that this woman met Her Majesty!

Dear Britain: your dumb Queen did not raise three generations of American children! Elizabeth had nothing to do with teaching American children the joy of puns, parody, and creaky vaudeville humor! (And the alphabet maybe? There was some alphabet stuff involved.)

Who the hell wouldn't be more excited for Big Bird than Queen Elizabeth? No one we'd want as first lady.

In conclusion:

Lydia Hearst Schools Anthony Marshall On "The Ultimate Betrayal To The Name"

Emily Gould — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 18:00:51 EST

Model and heiress Lydia Hearst sat down in her dark corner with her glass of tequila and lime juice, all Hemingway-like, and pumped out another column for Page Six magazine. Thank God. Besides some musings about her new hair color and the traffic that kept her from her Puma bag launch breakfast, Lydia has some unsolicited advice for Brooke Astor's troubled son Anthony Marshall.

The lady says: "If it is true, the news of Brooke Astor's son being indicted for mishandling his mother's fortune is disgraceful. As an heiress, I think the most important thing is to maintain respect for the legacy that has afforded a wonderful life." Do tell!

She continues: "To invite unfavorable attention is the ultimate betrayal to the name, and it's surprising that anyone from a family with those means might misuse a loved one's money or sully a grand reputation."

Someday, we imagine, Lydia's mom might want to sit her down and have a candid talk about that little Symbionese Liberation Army kerfuffle.

Top: "Anabel, one of the cheerleaders of...

Choire — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 17:46:28 EST

Top: "Anabel, one of the cheerleaders of the Washington Redskins US football team, removes her helmet to adjust her hair, after landing by helicopter at Patrol Base Dragon, some 20 kilometers (about 12.4 miles) south of Baghdad, Iraq, Tuesday, Nov. 27, 2007, where the cheerleaders were to stage a performance for US troops.(AP Photo/Petr David Josek )" Bottom: "U.S. soldier from the 3rd Brigade combat team of 101st Airborne Division, dances with Chastity, one of the cheerleaders of the Washington Redskins US football team, during their show at Patrol Base Dragon, some 20 kilometers (about 12.4 miles) south of Baghdad, Iraq, Tuesday, Nov. 27, 2007. (AP Photo/Petr David Josek )"

American hero Grace Paley, one of the great...

Choire — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:00:10 EDT

American hero Grace Paley, one of the great writers and humanists of our time, is dead at the age of 84. Start here, if you haven't. [Maud Newton]

Hey! Whatever happened to Jocelyn Wildenstein?...

Choire — Tue, 21 Aug 2007 12:15:07 EDT

Hey! Whatever happened to Jocelyn Wildenstein? Why haven't we heard a peep about her in years?

Mr. Butch, a musician who lived on the streets...

Choire — Wed, 18 Jul 2007 12:38:37 EDT

Mr. Butch, a musician who lived on the streets of Boston for something like 30 years, has died in a high-speed scooter accident. [Boston Globe]

Black Cougar Will Save Us All

abalk — Thu, 21 Jun 2007 11:20:25 EDT

Last night's "American Inventor" introduced America to a new hero who will occupy the empty space in our personal pantheon that has been vacant since Ian Benardo left the stage. Ladies and gentlemen, say hello to Silvio DiSalvatore. He just might change your life.

Right To Drink Won On LIRR, Metro North

balk — Thu, 31 May 2007 11:11:29 EDT

We live in an era of apathy and cynicism. Government is broken; religion fails to relieve the anxiety of the age; torpor and resigned acceptance are the default responses to the inconveniences and incivilities life throws in our way on a daily basis. So when a group comes together and rouses itself against injustice, despite the arduous effort and unlikely odds of success, that group deserves to be celebrated, nay, put forth as a model for others to follow.

We speak of the downtrodden commuters from Westchester and Fairfield, from Roslyn and Ronkonkoma, this happy band of brothers who coalesced to ensure that one of man's most important rights was not abrogated by a group of faceless bureaucrats and killjoys. These freedom fighters stood up for their God-given privilege to get absolutely blitzed on the 6:07 to Stratford. A man works a long, hard day at the office, he needs a couple giant cans of Fosters and a few shots of Jim Beam before he's got to drive home to face the naggy wife and screaming kids. Thank you, riders of the MTA, for taking the stand that so many of us would be afraid to make. We're soliciting donations for a monument to your courage that we will set up somewhere in Greenwich. It will be a bronze statue of a man in a gray flannel suit, Coors tallboy, Blackberry, and briefcase in hand, inscribed with whatever for the Latin is for "Where the fuck is my drink." Gentlemen, we salute you, and the 300 public drunkenness citations for which you stand.

Commuters' Cocktail Hour Likely to Keep Rolling [NYT]

The Two Faces Of Andrea Peyser

abalk2 — Thu, 12 Apr 2007 10:40:11 EDT

Designated Post moralist Andrea Peyser can still work herself into a state of highly-frothed outrage when righteous anger is called for (or not called for!), but if today's paper is any indication, The Peys has a softer side.We never thought we'd say it, but we miss the scowl.

Earlier: Notes From Our Recent Trip to the Associated