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American Idol


Our Bodies, Ourselves American Idoler and suspected gay Clay Aiken seems to have gotten someone pregnant. Don't freak out, it was an artificial insemination. OK, freak out. Ewww.

reality tv

A Quick Guide to David Cook and This Season's Other Instant Stars

Well, in the end it goes to Cook in a landslide. I am surprised! I thought the squealing masses of girls and soft dulcet tones of Archie's "Imagine" repeat on Tuesday night would win over middle ground voters who might have found Cook to be too edgy. But no, in a 12 million vote landslide, our combovered pal from Kansas City tearily took the crown and Simon and company rejoiced. I guess 19 and the judges were behind Cook all along. Perhaps the over the top Archie plaudits were just a calculated bait and switch. Or maybe there's nothing so cynical about American Idol after all. Good for Cook. Instant fame! Who else has won grand television prizes this year, on shows like America's Next Top Model and Project Runway? After the jump, take a tour through this year in winning things, starting, of course, with Mr. Cook. More »

reality tv

Idol Upset Rebukes Judges

American Idol judges made it clear they were no fans of finalist David Cook after final performances Tuesday night, and that may have been what put the emo rocker over the top on Wednesday. Said the Times, "the talk on the red carpet before Wednesday’s program was that perhaps the judge’s overwhelming favoritism for Mr. Archuleta drove Mr. Cook’s supporters to vote in waves." Acidic judge Simon Cowell went so far as to apologize to the newly-crowned winner, saying his evaluation of of Cook Tuesday was "verging on disrespectful." Heaven forbid! Despite the judges' contrition, this is all very convenient for them. The judges were under heavy criticism for staging and pre-crafting their opinions starting a few weeks ago, after Paula Abdul's infamous and obviously-canned comments about a performance she never saw. Cook's victory in the face of the judges' doubts makes them seem a little less threatening and powerful, and their conniving less harmful. UPDATE: After the jump, video of Cook in an ad that aired Wednesday night, dancing in his underwear like Tom Cruise in Risky Business and thus foretelling very healthy emotional and career arcs. More »

reality tv

The American Idol Finale, Part 1

So, Archie basically won it last night, right? Girls and older ladies lurve that "Imagine" cover, and he'll probably get some sort of pity vote from people who were worried that he'd come down with the vapors. Was he having some sort of episode? The poor little irksome monkey looked like he was going to fall into the orchestra pit. Cook was pretty good, no? Though, his choice of inspirational original song was poor (Dream Big! Shut up!) and, while I liked it, I think that Collective Soul song may have been alienating for some. And boyyy did the judges not want him to win. They were all over Archie, as they have been all season, giving praise like "knockout," "best performance ever," etc. Why does 19 want Archuleta to win so badly? More »

american idol

Former Idol Becomes Most Interesting Thing About Current Season

Well, that was inevitable, huh? While there may have been a glimmer of a chance that the almost-sort-of likable Syesha could claw her way into the final two, it certainly came as no big surprise to find that she did not, in fact, pull it off. The David on David finale that the producers have been blatantly gunning for has come to fruition and it is going to be boring. Because I don't like either of them. I'd rather see a dust mop win than the breathy, floppy-faced Archuleta, but Cook has been increasingly annoying too, with his repetitive "start soft than go biiiiig" motif and his odd, fake-humble bows to the audience. But all that blah blah aside, the truly important part of last night was previous Idol winner Fantasia Barrino's absolutely batshit insane, chicken dancing, terribly-fun-to-watch, voodoo ritual of a performance. Simon was shocked! Archuleta looked like he was going to faint! Even if you're not a fan of the show, it's worth a watch, after the jump. More »

Idol Lives "American Idol, the most popular show on television, will be back on Fox next year." Did anyone actually think it would get cancelled? [Times]

pleas

Give American Idol Back To Us

Hey, what is the damn matter with American Idol? Not only has the show been slow and predictable this season (what with inevitable David-on-David finales, dependable judge insanity/obvious favoritism, and Ryan Seacrest bon mots) but it's also getting some of the lowest ratings in its illustrious seven year history. What's going on here? Has America's Favorite Television Show Ever gotten old and increasingly not worth watching? In a word, yes. Simon Cowell thinks this season has been "too safe." Which is, OK, sound logic. Sure it's been safe, but isn't Cowell part of that problem? The judging segments are increasingly canned and repetitive, and showing obvious signs of producer string-pulling. The whole affair is too planned out and scripted. Some would say that, like high-waisted pants or wariness of ethnic people, this is just a sign that the show is twilight years. But, I disagree. I think Idol could last forever. It just needs to make a few changes to get itself back on course. More »

Idol David Archuleta's father Jeff, often accused of being a crazed stage dad, has been asked not to participate in song choosing and other backstage activities. EW.com interviewed Idol producer Nigel Lythgoe today, and he stated that the show runners just "want David to be able to be free like everybody else to get on and do what they want to do." Fair enough. Also he probably added, off the record of course, that Jeff threatened to lock poor Archie in the crawl space back home in Utah if he didn't sing at least seven runs in the course of each performance. That poor little gremlin. (Also, will Syesha put up a good enough fight tonight, or are will still marching inexorably toward a David vs. David finale?)

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Boy's Concept of 'Winning' About to Change Forever

[Top 3 "American Idol" contestant David Archuleta with his just slightly overbearing father Jeff, at his homecoming concert in Murray, UT on Friday; image via AP]

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Why It Doesn't Matter Who Wins American Idol

Fresh off its intellectualization of The Hills, the New Yorker has turned its attention to this American Idol phenomenon that is so big with the kids (and their parents... and their grandparents). And, hey, guess what America? You can stop text-messaging your votes to the show because it doesn't really matter who wins! What matters is that Americans are learning very important things about music. For example, wrote New Yorker music critic Sasha Frere-Jones, Idol contestant David Archuleta's awful rendition of "Sweet Caroline" taught us to finally respect singer-songwriter Neil Diamond: More »

oh dear

Creepy Former American Idol Contestant Brought Up On Child Sex Charges

Meet Colin Leahy. He was once an American Idol contestant! He was featured during season three's Parade of Misery, saying on the show that he was just like Clay Aiken because "I'm also a camp counselor." Well, salute your shorts and fast forward a few years and Counselor Colin has been arrested and charged with endangering the welfare of a child after he, um, sent sexually provocative text messages to a twelve year old boy and propositioned a ten year old lad for sexy time. And! He had been volunteering at a Brooklyn elementary school! Oh dear. It's just like that Scott Bairstow fiasco. [NYM]

Idol Poor beautiful, sweet, perpetually stoned and clueless Jason Castro. The dude is just tired and outta weed. Let him go back to Texas so he can sit in the bed of a pickup truck and look out over Lake Ray Hubbard, smoking a joint, me nestled in his arms... Anyway! I hate to admit it, but I'm beginning to like Syesha. I mean, compared to Archuleta I'd let Randy win the damn thing, so Syesha is fine by me. David Cook is fine and should probably win. And maybe he will! Shrieking teen girls always seem to take their favorites to the final two, but rarely close the deal (Clay, Diana DeGarmo, Kat McPhee). What do you think? Is this the end of ol' Dreadlocks?

thus damning america

Can This American Idol Be Saved?

Paulagate continues at American Idol, and the LA Times reports today that their readers, for what it's worth, want ol' mishmash mouth off the show. Ever since she fucked up and criticized a performance that, erm, hadn't actually happened yet, people have wanted blood. This comes on the heels of news that the show is looking to change some things around due to slumping ratings. So what's a Nigel Lythgoe to do? Can Lady Gobbledygook? Get a new Ryan? Air the audition rounds as flashbacks? How can Idol be saved??? Take an important poll after the jump. More »

Idol Goodbye Brooke! It was time, mostly because she was about to climb the rafters and start shooting people or self-immolate on stage. She was obviously going mad, crying at random intervals, looking miserable and desperate when singing. Something vague and undefinable was wrong, like Meryl Streep in The Hours. And whodathunk that Syesha would be the last girl left? The obviously wicked actress has scraped by for a remarkable amount of time. She's like Jasmine Trias, except without all of Haiwaii voting for her. So we stumble ever closer to the boring finale Showdown of the Davids. [EW]

disasters

Paula Abdul Admits Idol Fix To Scandalized Nation

It's true, Paul Abdul pre-judged at least one American Idol contestant before he performed, resulting in her disastrous, embarrassing critique of a song that was not sung and bitter feelings of betrayal on the part of Idol fans everywhere. Abdul straight up, now, told host Ryan Seacrest about the fix on his radio show yesterday, saying she came up with thoughts about a tune during dress rehearsal, and then mistakenly spat them out on the live show two hours later, thinking, somehow, the song had already been sung. More likely, Abdul panicked and hoped for the best amid some very last-minute format changes by show producers that forced her to issue judgement far earlier than expected. Reports the Times: More »

disasters

American Idol Finally Runs Aground On Paula Abdul-Shaped Sandbar

So the violin string finally snapped on American Idol last night, didn't it? It was Neil Diamond night ("I'll smack you in the mouth!") and everyone sang two songs, only getting criticism after everyone had sung their first. But, what happened when they were all lined up? Paula gave the beautiful, disturbingly white-teethed Jason Castro criticism for two songs. She gave very specific (well, as specific as the perpetual stroke victim gets) notes that kind of negated the possibility that it was just a simple "oh, wrong person!" mistake. It leads one to question how spontaneous any of the judges' criticisms are. Is everything set up by producers beforehand? What are we to think of this whole debacle?? Watch the video and tell me what to do. I'm currently lying on the kitchen floor, praying to St. Anthony. Because something's been lost. Also, someone please go punch Archuleta in the face. More »